


The Sheppard Siblings

by An_Abundance_of_Soph



Series: The Sheppard Siblings [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M, everything's the same except some scenes are different or added, extra character inserted into episodes, mcshep is a sideplot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-10 05:02:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 58,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11120442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Abundance_of_Soph/pseuds/An_Abundance_of_Soph
Summary: “Tally?” the male voice called in confusion. Her ears pricked up momentarily at the familiar nickname but she did not turn away from the conversion she was having with Dr Beckett. There was no way this person was calling to her, she had not been called Tally in almost 17 years. Her oldest brother was the only one to have ever used that nickname and he had left when he was 18, never looking back and she hadn’t heard from him since. She’d tried to find him 6 years after he left, when she too had turned 18 and escaped the overwhelming pressure and expectations of their controlling father. She had been unable to contact him, getting only as far as to find out he had fulfilled his dream of joining the Air Force and was on a remote mission. She’d taken it as a sign that he wanted no part in her life and had turned all her focus towards her studies. Now she was a doctor in another galaxy, never to see him or the rest of her family again, and she was perfectly ok with that.





	1. NATALIE

**Author's Note:**

> So this is your basic canon with just an extra character added.  
> The only real big changes I'm making are that Jennifer Keller isn't going to exist here and McShep is going to be a little side plot.  
> Some timeline housekeeping: 1 year passes between 1x01 & 1x20, 2 years between 2x01 & 2x20, 6 months for 3x01 & 3x20, 1 year for 4x01 & 4x20 and I haven't decided on season 5 but probably another year.

_The sun glittered on the flat ocean waters, and a light breeze fluttered in her raven curls as she gazed out across the floating city. It was quiet out on the balcony and it was the perfect place to sit and think. The door behind her opened and she was pulled out of her thoughts by a voice._

_“Do you mind if I join you?” Teyla asked as she approached._

_“Not at all,” the raven headed woman replied with a smile._

_“You seemed deep in thought,” Teyla commented as she sat down next to the woman, “What has you so transfixed Natalie?” Natalie was a silent for long enough that Teyla thought she was not going to answer. When she finally answered, her voice was soft in the peaceful afternoon._

_“I was just thinking about how much things have changed over the years,” she replied. “Things were so different when we first arrived in Atlantis.”_

_“Yes, you have grown much since I left my fellow Athosians and joined you here. You and John barely spoke then, and the Natalie I first met would never have been comfortable on an off-world mission the way you are now. You have been through much in your time in the Pegasus Galaxy,” Teyla noted._

_Natalie nodded with a wistful smile. “Yeah, it’s crazy to think of how John and I were back then,” she sighed. “When I first saw him after we came through the wormhole, I never could have dreamt that we would have the relationship we do now.”_

* * *

Since stepping through the gate 3 days ago, the city had been chaotic to say the least. It wasn’t until after the city resurfaced and the rescue mission had returned to the city that she saw him. She had heard talk of a young major rescuing some of the soldiers and the Athosians from an enemy known as the wraith, but she had not thought much about him. It was not her place to be concerned with the military faction of the expedition. As a doctor working under Carson Beckett, her job was to set up an infirmary and investigate the medical equipment designed and abandoned by the Ancients. She was having breakfast in the Mess Hall the day after the rescue mission when she heard a voice yell out across the room.

“Tally?” the male voice called in confusion. Her ears pricked up momentarily at the familiar nickname but she did not turn away from the conversion she was having with Dr Beckett. There was no way this person was calling to her, she had not been called Tally in almost 17 years. Her oldest brother was the only one to have ever used that nickname and he had left when he was 18, never looking back and she hadn’t heard from him since. She’d tried to find him 6 years after he left, when she too had turned 18 and escaped the overwhelming pressure and expectations of their controlling father. She had been unable to contact him, getting only as far as to find out he had fulfilled his dream of joining the Air Force and was on a remote mission. She’d taken it as a sign that he wanted no part in her life and had turned all her focus towards her studies. Now she was a doctor in another galaxy, never to see him or the rest of her family again, and she was perfectly ok with that.

“Tally?” the voice yelled again, closer this time, causing Natalie to turn away from Carson towards it.

“John?” she gasped, freezing with shock as her eldest brother stood before. For his part, he also seemed shocked. Clearly, he also had never expected to see the family he had left behind.

“What are you doing here, Tally?” he asked, unfreezing Natalie from her seat and Carson watched on in confusion as she stood, still staring at the man in front of her. “How are you here?” John clarified when she still didn’t respond.

“Maybe we should have this talk somewhere more private,” Natalie finally replied, unsure what to say to him now that she was finally face to face with him after so many years but knowing she didn’t want to say it all in front of half the expedition. Her brother nodded and the pair made their way out of the mess hall and down a hallway.

* * *

The Sheppard siblings stood facing each other in the empty room, neither seemed to know how to start the conversation and both were still clearly in shock. Eventually it was John that broke the tense silence.

“So, Tally,” he began hesitantly.

“Nobody calls me Tally anymore,” she gently interrupted, her voice soft and cautious, “Most people just call me Nat.” John nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, OK. I guess you’re not a little kid anymore,” he agreed. “You’re a doctor now?” he asked gesturing at the yellow patches on her expedition jacket.

“Yeah,” Natalie replied, “I left home when I was 18 too. Dad wanted me to follow David’s lead and join the business. He never would have let me go to medical school. He was so much worse after you left, John. So much more controlling. He was obviously mad at you for leaving but I think he was also scared that David or I might leave too, so he held on to us even tighter. And then when Mom died, he became unbearable and I didn’t have any other choice after that. I knew I had to leave too.” Silence stretched out between them as John absorbed this information. It was Natalie who spoke again when it was clear he didn’t know how to respond. “I tried to find you, you know. Found out you went to Stanford and then joined the Air Force. It seemed like you had everything you ever wanted so I just figured I’d leave you alone and let you live your life.” Natalie looked at her feet as she spoke the last sentence, unable to meet her brothers gaze and let him see the pain that she was sure would show in her eyes. He must have heard it in her voice anyway as his voice was soft and tentative when he responded.

“I’m so sorry I left you. You should know I never wanted that, I just needed to get out from under him. Once I left I figured you and David and Mom would have all hated me too so I stayed away. Figured it was easier, clean break and all that. If I’d known you left too I would have reached out to you.”

Natalie lifted her gaze as her brother spoke, and her eyes glistened at the sincerity of his words. Even after 17 years, to know that he hadn’t meant to abandon her meant everything.

“Now that we’re both here, do you think we could start over?” she asked. In lieu of a reply John pulled his sister into a hug and that was all the response she needed.


	2. ELIZABETH

Dr Weir was standing in the control room when Sheppard and a female medical officer she didn’t quite recognise approached.

“Elizabeth,” John greeted, “Have you got a moment to talk?”

“Of course, John,” Elizabeth replied, assuming John meant to talk in private, she led the way to the conference room next door. Only once the doors closed behind them did she continue. “What can help you with Major?”

The major shared a glance with the woman before speaking. “Ahh…” he began hesitantly, “I don’t really know how relevant this is but I thought you ought to know…” he paused, unsure what to say.

“I’m Doctor Natalie Sheppard,” the young woman interrupted and stepped forward with her hand outstretched, “It’s a pleasure to meet you again Dr Weir, I’m sorry that we haven’t had the chance to speak since you approved me for Dr Beckett's team 4 months ago.”

“It’s lovely to meet you again Doctor,” Elizabeth replied, shaking Natalie’s offered hand. “I’m sure now that we’re here in Atlantis we will be seeing much more of each other.” The two women smiled at each other for a moment before Elizabeth’s eyes lit up with recognition. “Did you say Dr Sheppard?”

Natalie nodded. “Yes, John is my brother. We only just bumped into each other, about an hour ago. Neither of us knew the other was involved in the expedition.”

“That must have been quite the shock,” Elizabeth acknowledged.

“Very much so,” Natalie agreed.

Elizabeth watched the pair curiously as the conversation continued. They were clearly not used to each other, awkward glances and their stances were evidence of their unfamiliarity with each other, but somewhere underneath all of that, Elizabeth sensed a deep connection. She had no doubt that the relationship between the two would strengthen over time and was amused to note how similar the pair were. Despite John's military training, the pair shared many mannerisms and the family resemblance was uncanny. Natalie stood only an inch or two shorter than her older brother, with long curly hair the same raven black as the Major. They shared the same nose and mouth and Elizabeth could imagine they also shared the same charming smile. It was while Elizabeth was silently cataloguing the pairs similarities that a realization hit her.

“What I don’t understand,” Elizabeth began, “is if you’re siblings then why is Johns connection with the Ancient gene so much stronger than yours Natalie?”

“Well, technically we’re only half-siblings,” Natalie explained.

“My mother died when I was 2 and our father remarried,” John added, “I'd assume both our father and my mother were descendants of the Ancients, but Nat’s Mom wasn’t. That seems like the logical explanation for why my connection with the gene is so much stronger.”


	3. JOHN

John Sheppard stepped into the infirmary and scanned the room, eyes falling quickly on Dr Beckett and his sister talking with a patient. He waited quietly until they dismissed the young scientist.

“Major Sheppard, how can I help ye?” Beckett asked upon noticing him.

“Dr Beckett, I was hoping you could spare Dr Sheppard for the morning,” John replied. “Dr Weirs orders,” he added.

Beckett nodded and John motioned for Natalie to follow him. She fell into step beside him as they headed off down the hallway. She remained silent for a while and John snuck peaking glances towards her. He was still trying to get used to having her around every day. Only a few days had passed since he'd spotted her in the mess hall and since then they had had lunch together almost every day in an attempt to get to know each other again.

“Are you going to tell me where we're going?” Natalie asked, finally breaking their comfortable silence.

“The jumper bay,” John replied. “Dr Weir and I have decided that everyone in the city with the ATA gene should get some practice in a Puddle Jumper, just in case.”

Natalie nodded and the siblings returned to comfortable silence as they threaded their way through the city. They entered the Jumper bay and made their way onboard Jumper 1.

“Take a seat Nat,” John said, gesturing towards the pilot’s seat as he sat down on the right-hand side of the ship. Natalie did as John requested and as she sat, he watched the controls automatically extended out of the console in front of her.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” She asked nervously, staring at the controls in front of her but refusing to touch them.

“You’ll be fine,” John chuckled, “If Beckett can do this you’ll have no trouble. So just take hold of the joysticks. Not too tightly.”

Natalie followed John’s instructions and he felt the Puddle Jumper come to life beneath them.

“Ok so let me just open the door to the jumper bay and then we will take it straight up and outside,” he instructed, pushing a button on the dash in front of them. As soon as the door was open, the ship began to move smoothly out of its parking position and then rose steadily up until they were outside looking down on the city. John heard Natalie gasp and he smiled, remembering how strange it was the first time he piloted a Jumper.

“It’s like it’s reading my mind,” she mumbled in awe.

“You feel it too?” John asked enthusiastically, “Beckett and McKay seemed to have more trouble with it.”

Natalie nodded, “It’s like as soon as I think about it, it happens,” she replied and no sooner had the words left her mouth, then the ship started to weave its way around the spires of the city, gathering speed as Natalie gathered confidence. After exploring the city from the outside for a while, Natalie pulled the jumper into steep climb and laughed as they left the planets orbit, the vastness of space in front of them was mesmerizing. She stared in awe of the sight before levelling out the craft and allowing it to float in space, the planet spread out before them, the city appearing small on the ocean’s surface. Nat glanced over at her brother and found him staring at her.

“That was incredible,” he exclaimed, “I’ve never seen anyone fly like that on their first go. You’re a natural.”

Natalie beamed at the compliment, “I can see why you love your job so much. This is incredible!”

They spent the rest of the morning flying around, and John went through all the different displays and procedures she would need in case she was required to pilot the ship on her own. By the time they disembarked in the Jumper Bay, both Sheppard’s were starving and made their way to the mess hall for lunch.


	4. NATALIE [1x04]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 1x04 'THIRTY EIGHT MINUTES'

_“Doctor Sheppard to the Gate Room please.”_

Natalie entered the gate room not knowing what to expect. All that Carson had said over the radio was that he needed her assistance in a medical situation. She found him in the conference room, with supplies spread out across the table in front of him.

“Carson, what is it we’re dealing with?” she asked.

“We have a jumper stuck in the gate,” Carson began to explain. He was cut off from continuing when Lieutenant Ford’s voice came over the radio.

 _“We’re starting with iodine,”_ Ford announced and Natalie listened closely, still unsure of the situation unfolding in the jumper. The medical team surrounding her also stood still, listening intently as Ford tried first iodine, then alcohol and then salt with no success. Natalie was just about to ask for someone to explain the situation to her when the Lieutenant tried water, which was immediately followed by the sounds of a struggle and someone in immense pain. _“It could have reacted to either the salt or the water,”_ Ford announced.

“Or the combination of both,” Carson added. “Did it loosen its hold on Major Sheppard?”

Natalie’s blood ran cold at the mention of John, and she instantly realised why she had been called. Her mind started to race, piecing together the few details she had. She was pulled from her panic by the sound of Johns strained voice.

 _“Please, don't do that again,”_ he begged.

 _“I won't, sir. I'm sorry,”_ Ford replied.

“Most likely a primitive defensive reflex to salt water,” Carson added and the team around him burst back to life as they worked to find a solution. It was then that Carson turned his attention to Natalie and took in the panicked expression on her face.

“Natalie,” Carson sighed.

“What’s happening?” She gasped in reply, her usually calm and professional demeanour gone in the wake of hearing her brother in so much pain.

“A bug of some kind has attached itself to Major Sheppard’s neck and seems to be feeding off him in a similar way to the wraith. We believe there’s a possibility the wraith evolved from the creature, but for now we’re just trying to work out how to get it off,” Carson explained. Natalie sighed and sat down before her knees buckled.

“What do we do?” she asked, not really expecting an answer. Dr Beckett patted her shoulder sympathetically and turned back to the supplies laid out in front of him. In different circumstances, she would be working alongside him, but despite all her training as a doctor to be impartial, she was unable to ignore the fact that the patient was John. She couldn’t think clearly and she knew the best thing she could do was stay out of Carson’s way and allow him to save her brother. A sympathetic smile from Carson told her that he had not called her here expecting her to help, she knew he understood and turned her focus to trying to remain calm, despite the fear building inside of her.

* * *

Minutes passed by and Natalie felt completely useless. Despite her best efforts she could see no way to help John and as time continued to pass she was becoming less and less hopeful that the scientist would find a way to get the jumper through the Stargate. Her constant worrying was interrupted by John’s voice coming through over the radio.

“ _Is Nat there?”_ he asked, sounding even weaker than the last time she’d heard him.

“I’m here, John,” she replied, working hard to make her voice sound calm and reassuring.

 _“Just in case I don’t make it I need to tell you…”_ John began.

“Please don’t,” Natalie begged in response, pushing back the tears she felt warming her eyes.

 _“No, let me finish,”_ John rebutted firmly. _“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the time I wasted. I’m sorry I left, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. These last few months have meant a lot. I can feel this thing sucking the life out of me and I don’t have much left, so I just wanted to tell you that…”_

“Wait, John shut up,” Natalie interrupted.

 _“I know you don't want to hear this Nat, but I need to say it,”_ John insisted.

“No, I mean it John, shut up,” Nat replied. “I think I know how to kill this thing! It's feeding like a wraith, right? So, when do the wraith stop feeding?”

Everyone was silent for a beat and it was Teyla who responded. _“When their prey dies,”_ she replied solemnly.

“Exactly!” Nat cried excitedly, oblivious to the concerned glances being thrown her way. “John, once you're dead, the creature will let go of you and Lieutenant Ford will be able to kill it.”

“I'm afraid I'm not following you Dr Sheppard,” Dr Weir interjected.

“We need to kill John. It's the only way that thing is going to let go,” Natalie replied.

 _“And here I was thinking we were having an emotional moment and now you want to kill me,”_ John replied snarkily.

“Oh, don't be so dramatic,” Natalie sighed. “I'm not saying you have to stay dead. It's simple really, if you use the defibrillator to shock John's heart, wait for the bug to detach and then the Lieutenant can re-shock his heart to bring him back.”

 _“What if that does not work?”_ Teyla questioned.

 _“Then we throw him through the gate,”_ Ford replied. _“Once he’s through the event horizon he’ll be frozen.”_

“And then we can revive him when we get you all home,” Carson concluded. They all agreed to the plan and everyone in Atlantis waited anxiously as Lieutenant Ford pressed the paddles to the Major’s chest.

_“No pulse.”_

_“It won't come off.”_

“Settle,” Carson replied calmly, “It may take a moment.”

“Lieutenant?” Dr Weir called, sounding almost as worried as Natalie felt.

_“This is Lieutenant Ford. The creature's successfully been removed from Major Sheppard, but we were unable to revive him. Both he and Teyla are now on the other side of the event horizon.”_

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” Dr Weir replied, “Rodney, you have seven minutes.”

  _\----_

Natalie paced the Jumper bay nervously, unable to stay still, thoroughly unhappy to have no control over the situation. Dr Beckett watched her pace as he too waited nervously. In a few moments, they would have their answer; either the Puddle Jumper would land in front of them or it wouldn't. Every second felt like an eternity to Natalie as she continued her pacing.

“Dr Sheppard!”

The joyful tone in Beckett’s voice told her the Jumper was descending before she turned, but even so, seeing the large green ship in front of her made her knees buckle slightly with relief. She only let the relief rush through her for a brief moment before she pushed it aside and focused on the opening rear hatch of the craft. The moment it was open wide enough for her to enter, she rushed through and past where Aidan Ford lay on the ground. In the briefest of moments, she was kneeling beside John and immediately placed a respirator bag over his mouth, squeezing it rhythmically to deliver much needed oxygen to his lungs. In tandem with her movements Carson was already kneeling across from her preparing the defibrillator. Natalie was completely unaware of the frantic activity around her, focused only on John and the monitor. Holding her breath while her hand squeezed the bag providing his. Time slowed as she stopped her actions and waited as an electric current ran between the two paddles. She resumed her efforts, desperately staring at the screen and its incessant straight line. Once again, she stopped as Carson discharged the paddles. The sound of blood rushing in her ears was all she could hear, her lungs screaming for breath but she didn't inhale. Then suddenly the machine beeped to life, signalling the returned beating of the Major’s heart and Natalie gasped for breath. Tears ran down her cheeks silently as John’s heartbeat steadied.

“He’s going to be okay,” Carson declared and everyone inside the cockpit of the Jumper visibly sagged with relief. Carson looked up from his patient to look directly at Natalie. “You did well today Dr Sheppard,” he told her. She offered Carson a small smile of gratitude before quickly returning her attention to the unconscious face of her brother.


	5. JOHN

“Are you sure you’re feeling ok?” Natalie asked him for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Yes, Nat. Like I’ve already told I feel fine,” John replied.

“I’m just making sure,” Nat said defensively. “You did technically die 5 days ago.”

“And now I’m fine. Beckett gave me the all clear and I’m back to work tomorrow, so you can stop hovering over me like a mother hen and eat your damn sandwich.”

Natalie grinned at him in amusement. They were sitting across the table from one another in the mess hall having lunch together as they had been doing almost every day since finding each other.

“There’s something I wanted to ask you about,” John said after a few moments. Natalie looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. “Given what happened the other day, Dr Weir and I were talking yesterday about how it might be a good idea to include a medical officer in each reconnaissance team.”

“And you wanted my opinion on which of my team would be interested?” Natalie questioned.

“Yes and no,” John responded. “I’ll need a few people to fill the teams but I was also hoping that you would join my team.”

“Me?” Nat squawked. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, I think you’d be the perfect fit,” John promised. He waited while his sister thought. He didn’t want to push her so he returned to his lunch while he waited for her answer.

“You have to teach me how to fight,” she replied after 10 minutes.

“Deal,” John agreed. The two siblings smiled at each other and returned their attentions to the food in front of them.

* * *

Over the following months Natalie integrated herself into his team and John enjoyed spending more time with the younger woman. When not on missions off world, John worked to train her in hand to hand combat with Teylas help and also trained her with the firearms commonly used by the military on the expedition. Unlike when he had needed to acclimatise Rodney with military protocol, Natalie picked it up easily, much in the way he had during basic training more than a decade ago.


	6. NATALIE [1x20/2x01]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites the end of 1x20 'THE SIEGE PART 2' and the beginning of 2x01 'THE SIEGE PART 3'

_“Why are there no Jumpers in the air?”_

_“We must have exhausted the Mark Two's energy output. It's dead.”_

The moment Nat heard McKay over the radio she knew what would happen next. Without the ability to remotely pilot the Jumper, she knew that John would chose to manually fly Jumper 1. He would complete the mission, whatever the cost to himself. She took off running, making her way to the gate room as she knew her brother was making his own way. The infirmary was closer than the Chair room, but John was faster. If she hurried she knew she wouldn’t be far behind him.  As she reached the control room and the stairs leading the up to the Jumper bay she heard Radek’s panicked voice over the radio.

“Doctor Weir, Major Sheppard is taking the Jumper out.”

“I’m aware of that, Doctor Zelenka,” Elizabeth replied calmly. “Start prepping Jumper 2.”

Natalie stepped towards Dr Weir as she gave the order and as soon as Nat gained the other woman’s attention she spoke, her voice steady despite the whirl of emotions fighting inside her.

“Elizabeth.”

“It doesn’t have to be you,” Elizabeth said, instantly understanding what Natalie planned to do.

“But I need it to be,” Nat replied, “I’m just a doctor, you can replace me. I’m not trying to be selfless here Elizabeth. It’s selfish of me really, I don’t want to have to stick around once he succeeds.”

Elizabeth nodded in understanding of the younger woman’s pain.

“Go,” she declared, “You will be remembered for your sacrifice. Both of you will.”

“Goodbye Elizabeth,” Natalie said with a sad smile before she turned and ran up the last set of stairs separating her from Jumper 2.

Nat steeled herself as the rear hatch snapped shut, and sat at the controls, waiting. She listened closely to the radio, watching John’s flight through the darts towards the hives on the HUD.

“ _You know, if this works, somebody might have to do it again.”_

 _“We’ve got that covered,”_ Elizabeth responded solemnly, and Nat pictured her standing the control room staring at the display in front of her. Once she saw John nearing the hive she eased Jumper 2 out of the bay, cloaking as soon as she was outside. She swallowed as she took in the battle raging around her, many parts of the city were on fire and darts covered the sky. She narrowly avoided one as she flew higher, heading away from the city she had begun to call home. Jumper 1 was cloaked but she pretended she could see it in front of her as she followed her brother towards their deaths.

“ _They haven't detected my approach,”_ John announced, _“Weapon is armed and ready. I'm going in.”_

Natalie had barely covered a third of the distance between Atlantis and the hive ships and she held her breath at John’s declaration. One way or another this would be over very soon. She only hoped that the city would be saved by their actions. After a minute of flying McKay’s voice was the next to come over the radio.

_“Detonation in five, four, three, two.”_

Natalie closed her eyes and turned away as the explosion spread out in front of her jumper. The light was blinding even through her closed eyes and the shockwave rocked the small ship despite the dampeners. Tears streamed down her face as she turned her attention to the remaining hive ship. She choked back the sob building in her throat and keyed her radio.

“Atlantis this is Dr Sheppard, I’m making my final approach to the hive.”

The hive loomed large ahead of her as she flew towards the opening of the dart bay and she mentally prepared herself for what she was about to do. She fought against the grief threatening to overwhelm her and focused on the task at hand.

_“Atlantis, this is Sheppard.”_

Nat gasped at the sound of his voice and she heard Elizabeth call his name. She listened to the exchange between Weir, John and the newly announced Colonel Caldwell, all the while nearing closer to the dart bay.

“I hate to interrupt,” Nat announced, “But I’m on the doorstep of this hive ship and I’m assuming I don’t have to blow myself up now.”

 _“Decloak as soon as you enter the hive and we will beam you out,”_ the colonel promised and Natalie heard John’s confusion in the background. Natalie armed the device, aimed the jumper deep into the hive ship and deactivated the cloak. The moment she did she felt pins and needles cover her whole body and then she was standing on the bridge of a warship, John standing in front her staring in shock.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded as Nat launched herself at her brother, gripping him tightly in a fierce hug.

“I was attempting to save the day,” Nat quipped as she held him. “Couldn’t let you have all the glory.”

The bridge was a hive of activity around the reunited siblings, reminding them that despite the destruction of the hive ships that city was still under attack from the darts and many wraith had made it into the city.

“Dr McKay,” Caldwell said from his command seat behind them, “I trust you’ll know what to do with this?”

Natalie watched as a ZMP disappeared in a beam of light, and she imagined the looks of relief on the faces of those in the control room.

“Colonel, we still have wraith in the city,” Elizabeth explained.

“I’ll beam down my soldiers to help,” Caldwell replied, before turning to face Nat and John. Before he had a chance to speak to them Natalie saw something concerning in front of them.

“What are they doing?” she asked, gesturing at the remaining darts flying towards the city.

“Oh shit,” John replied before keying his radio. “Elizabeth, you’ve got a problem.”

 _“Yeah, we see that, Major,”_ Elizabeth replied.   
  
“We're moving to intercept but I don't think we can get there in time,” John replied.

“I don’t understand,” Nat interjected, “What are they doing?”

“They’re making a suicide run at the city,” John explained, “and at those speeds they’ll rip Atlantis apart.”

Natalie’s face drained of colour as she watched the darts approach Atlantis, and gasped in shock as countless explosions covered the city.

“Oh god,” she whispered.

“Atlantis, this is Sheppard,” John called, “Atlantis!”

John and Natalie shared a look of dread, neither one willing to except what they had seen.

“Atlantis, what is your status?” John continued to call, “Elizabeth, I repeat, what is your status?”

 _“Well, we're still here. That's our status,”_ Elizabeth replied. Both John and Nat let out sighs of relief.

“Don't scare me like that!” John chided.

 _“Sorry,”_ Weir replied, _“What about the Wraith fleet?”_

“The remaining cruisers have withdrawn from the battle,” answered Caldwell.

“Thank you, Colonel. Thank all of you,” was Elizabeth’s response.

Having ended the conversation, the Colonel turned his attention back to the Sheppard’s.

“Major. Doctor. I'm sure you're anxious to get back to Atlantis.”

“Yes sir, thank you” John replied and without another moment’s hesitation they were both beamed down to Atlantis. The moment their feet touched the floor of the gate room, Natalie took off running for the infirmary, certain that Carson would need her help with those injured in the battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that people seem to be enjoying this fic. There might be a bit of a break before I post the next chapter as I'm doing a complete re-watch of the show to work out my timeline of the rest of this story. I'm up to season 3 but I'm working the next 6 days straight. I'll work as quickly as I can.


	7. NATALIE [2x03]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 2x03 'RUNNER'

Natalie was kneeling in the back of the jumper, shinning a penlight into the eyes of Major Lorne.

“Good news, Major,” she announced, “I’m seeing no indication of a concussion.”

“Major!” a marine interrupted, and pushed past them out of the jumper. Natalie stood and quickly followed the young man, breathing a sigh of relief when her brother came into view.

“What happened to you?” Natalie asked as the pair shared a brief hug. “We’ve been searching for hours, and now McKay’s missing too. Wait, where’s Teyla?”

“It’s a long story,” John replied, “but the short of it is this guy took Teyla and I hostage and now I need you to come with me and remove a wraith tracking device from him so we can get out of here before the wraith show up.”

Natalie looked at her brother in disbelief. “So just your average day in the Pegasus Galaxy,” she quipped.

John merely offered her a shrug and she returned to the rear of the jumper to collect her medical kit. Lorne wanted to accompany them but John ordered him to continue the search for Rodney instead and the Sheppard’s headed off back towards the cave where the Runner was holding Teyla hostage. When they reached a cleft in the mountain side, John keyed his radio.

“Teyla, this is Sheppard, come in?”

 _“Go ahead, Colonel,”_ Teyla replied over the radio.

“You OK?” John asked as Nat listened in.

_“Yes. We are fine.”_

“Tell him I’m here with the Doctor. She's coming in.”

 _“Ronon would like me to remind you that Doctor Sheppard remain unarmed_.”

“You ready for this,” John asked his sister. She nodded in reply and hoisted the strap of her medical kit higher on her shoulder. “Ok. I’ll be right up there,” he promised, pointing towards a ledge in the mountainside.

“I’ll be fine,” Natalie promised, and then she made her way through the crack in the stone. It was only a metre or two deep, and she quickly emerged into a clearing lined with shear rock faces on every side. There was a cave cut into one of the walls and in front of the cave opening stood Teyla and a tall, feral looking man she had been told was called Ronon.

“Hello,” Natalie said in greeting, “I’m Doctor Natalie Sheppard. I hear you have a wraith tracking device in your back.” Ronon stared at her as she moved forward, gun still trained on Teyla, his face serious and somewhat frightening.

“What’s in the bag, Doc?” he asked, his voice gruff like his appearance.

“Medical supplies,” Natalie replied as she lowered the bag to the ground and approached him. “I’m going to need you to take your shirt off and have a seat.”

Ronon sat and requested Teyla to help him remove the bulky armour covering his shoulders and chest. Once it was removed, Nat pushed aside Ronon’s long dreadlocks and saw layers of scaring fanning out across the Runners back.

“You tried to cut this thing out yourself, didn’t you?” Natalie asked disapprovingly. “You made a bloody mess of it,” she continued when Ronon nodded. Natalie shook her head, frowning as she turned to her bag to retrieve a scanner. As she passed it over Ronon’s back, he turned to inspect the device.

“Is that Ancestor technology?” he asked her.

“Yes, it is,” she replied. “It shows me exactly where the device is and I have to tell you this isn’t going to be easy. I’m going to need you to drop your gun and lie down.”

“Not a chance,” he bit back sharply. He glared at the doctor in warning and she stared back at him. A part of her noted that she should probably be afraid of this man, and at the very least she shouldn’t antagonise him while he had his weapon pointed at Teyla, but she stood her ground. She’d been treating soldiers long enough to know that they only responded to strength and confidence. She put down the scanner and levelled Ronon with a stern glare.

“Are you a doctor?” she asked rhetorically, “Because unless you are, the way I see it is I’m your only option right now. So, you can either do what I tell you or you can leave and deal with the wraith. Your choice.”

Ronon seemed shocked at being told what to do, and Natalie saw Teyla flash her a look of warning. Surprising both women, the runner obeyed, lying face down on the large rock, however his weapon remained trained on Teyla.

“Ok, Doc,” Ronon said casually, “let’s do this.”

“I’m going to have to give you an anaesthetic,” Natalie explained, reaching back into her medical kit.

“No, you're not,” he replied sternly.

“Excuse me?” Natalie gasped.

Teyla interrupted before Natalie could argue with the man. “Ronon, you need to trust us,” she implored.

“I do,” Ronon replied, emphasising his point by brandishing his gun, “That's why she's here and you're still alive. Now get to work, Doc.”

“Fine,” Natalie spat, “But the transmitter is in the soft tissue next to the second thoracic vertebrae, if you flinch there’s a risk I will cause serious damage to your spinal column.”

“I won’t flinch,” Ronon replied.

Natalie rolled her eyes at his bravado, but turned her focus to the job at hand. As she made the first incision Ronon groaned in pain, but to his credit he didn’t flinch. After a few minutes of cutting, Nat finally located the device and seized it with a pair of forceps, pulling it out of his body.

“Ok, I’ve got it,” she declared, placing the device in a bowl to be destroyed when she finished. “I just need to suture the wound closed now.” As she began threading a needle, Ronons weapon hit the ground with a soft thud and his body went limp. “I guess he is human after all,” Nat sighed, checking his pulse to confirm he had passed out from the pain. She proceeded to stitch up the incision and then turned her attention to deactivating the device, as John entered the clearing.

“Alright this thing is dead,” Nat declared, looking up from the fried transmitter. John and Teyla discussed the possibility of the wraith having already been alerted to their location while Natalie began to clean away her equipment.

“I’m going to go look for McKay and Ford,” John informed the two women.

“Go, we will be fine here,” Teyla assured him, and Nat nodded in agreement.

“I’ll pick you up in the Jumper as soon as…” John began to explain. He was cut off by the sound of gunfire nearby and took off running towards it.

* * *

After returning to Atlantis, Natalie made her way to the quarters that had been assigned to Ronon. She nodded her head in greeting to the two marines guarding his door and knocked.

“Ronon?” she called out. “It’s Dr Sheppard, may I come in?” Ronon agreed and the door slid open. “Hi,” she said softly. Ronon remained silent and looked at her from where he sat in the window. “Do you mind” Nat asked, gesturing towards the bed. After receiving a nod from the rugged man, she sat. After the silence stretched on for a few minutes too long Nat spoke again. “I just wanted to come see how you were. John told me about your planet, and I wanted you to know how sorry I am.”

Ronon looked at her, and she felt like bug under a microscope. “Why?” he asked gruffly.

“Why am I sorry?” Nat replied.

“Why did you come here to tell me that?” Ronon clarified.

Nat was silent for a moment, thinking about why she had felt the need to tell this stranger that she felt for his situation.

“Because you should know that you’re not alone,” she finally answered. “We’ve all left our planet behind to start new lives here in Atlantis and I hope you know that you can do the same.”

Ronon tried to mask his surprise at Natalie’s gesture but she saw it flit across his face for the briefest of moments before disappearing behind his stony façade.

 _‘So, he isn’t a robot’_ she thought to herself in amusement.

“Anyway,” she said out loud. “I’ll leave you alone now, but have someone show you to the infirmary in a few days and I’ll take out the sutures in your back for you.” She got up and headed to the door but stopped in her tracks when she heard him speak.

“Thank you, Doctor,” he mumbled gruffly.

“You’re welcome Ronon,” she told him and as the door closed behind her she smiled. There was something about the man that she liked, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.


	8. RONON [2x06]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter occurs after the events of 2x06 'TRINITY'

“Mind if I join you?”

Ronon looked up from the plate of food in front of him to see Nat standing on the other side of the table. He nodded and she sat down in the seat across from him with a warm smile.

“Thanks,” she replied, looking down at her own plate of food. He'd only been in the city for a little over a month but he had grown fond of the young doctor during that time. He was slowly bonding with the members of his new team but he found himself getting along easier with the two Sheppard’s than the rest. He had a lot in common with John and they bonded over their military backgrounds, but his conversations with Natalie were different. She was easy to talk to and was always patient with him, waiting for him to speak but not pushing him too. Spending time with her was comfortable.

“Teyla told me you found some Satedans,” Nat commented, letting the statement hang in the air. He knew she would understand if he didn't respond to her, but for some reason he felt a need to tell her.

“A soldier I served with,” he replied. “His name is Solen.” Ronon fell quiet, but Nat made no attempt to fill the silence. Eventually Ronon continued. “He told me 300 Satedans survived.” 

“I can't imagine how that must have felt,” she commented.

Ronon nodded and the pair spent the better part of the next hour telling each other about their home planets, finding the similarities and differences.

* * *

A few days later, Natalie sought him out in gym where he was sparing with some marines.

“Hey,” he greeted her, stepping back from the three men he had just easily thrown to the ground.

“Hey,” she smiled in reply. “I was wondering if maybe you could teach me some of that.”

He looked at her for a moment and then grinned, dismissing the marines and motioning the doctor to join him on the mat. She took a deep breath and it hitched with what Ronon could only assume was nervousness.

“I'll go easy on you,” he promised and watched as some of the tension eased from her shoulders. “You ready?”

Natalie nodded and he began to slowly walk her through some basic moves. She surprised him by keeping up with a lot of the early sequences and he looked at her questioningly.

“Teyla and John have been teaching me since I joined the gate team,” she explained.

 _‘Of course, they have’_ Ronon thought, feeling dumb for assuming she had no training at all. With this new information in mind he started on a new sequence, slightly more complicated and the pair spent the next hour perfecting the move until Natalie could leverage Ronons size against him and flip him over her shoulder and onto the mat. They were both panting with exertion, but Natalie broke into a wide grin as she looked down at him lying on his back.

“That was awesome!” she crowed as she offered him a hand up. He knew he didn't need the assistance but he grasped her outstretched hand anyway and allowed her to help him to his feet.

The stood close to each other, hands still grasped together as they panted, until Natalie suddenly blushed and let go of his hand.

“I should probably get back to the infirmary,” she mumbled. “Ah, thanks. For the lesson.”

Before he could reply she grabbed her things and left the room.

 _‘Well that was different’_ he thought to himself.


	9. JOHN [2x07]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 2x07 'INSTINCT'

After convincing the villagers to be patient and give his team more time to hunt down the wraith, John made his way back to the cave. As he approached the entrance he heard voices and ducked behind a tree.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened in there?” Natalie asked softly.

“What’s there to talk about?” Ronon replied gruffly. John began to step out from behind the tree and announce his presence, but paused when he saw the pair. They were standing close together and Natalie had her hand on Ronons shoulder. The way they were standing seemed almost intimate to John and he stepped back behind the tree, listening.

“She’s a wraith Nat,” John heard Ronon say, “No matter how polite she pretends to be, you can’t change that.”

“I know,” Nat replied, “I don’t like it either, but if it’s true and this drug works then she’s an innocent. We can’t hurt her.”

“I don’t like this,” Ronon replied.

When Natalie didn’t respond, John peaked his head out from behind the tree again watched as his sister squeezed the Satedans hand before turning and walking back inside the cave. John scrunched his brow in confusion, before walking towards Ronon.

“Hey,” he greeted casually, “you out here keeping watch or something?”

“Yeah something like that,” Ronon grunted.

* * *

Blood was running down John’s arm and dripping from the tips of his fingers by the time he, Ronon and Teyla made their way back to McKay, Beckett and Nat. Upon seeing them Beckett rushed to assist Teyla as Nat hurried over to John. She grabbed his hand and examined the wound on his forearm before turning to her medical kit. She started pressing gauze on to the wound and secured it tightly with a bandage. Once his wound was wrapped, the team began the long walk through the forest, back to the gate.

“You doing ok?” Natalie asked as they walked side by side.

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” John replied casually. The look Natalie threw at him told him she didn’t believe him but thankfully she let it go. “So, what’s up with you and Ronon?” he asked, looking ahead of them to where Ronon was walking beside Teyla.

“What do you mean?” Natalie asked. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh, ok then,” John accepted.

 _‘She’s a terrible liar’_ he thought. 


	10. RONON [2x08]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 2x08 'CONVERSION'

“Has anyone seen Dr Sheppard?” Teyla asked in concern. “I have not been able to reach her on the radio in some time.”

“I’ll go find her,” Ronon offered. As he turned to make his way out of the infirmary he heard McKay’s barely whispered snipe from behind him and rolled his eyes in response.

“Oh yeah because the caveman is the perfect person to send to deal with an emotional woman.”

* * *

She was sitting on the edge of the south pier, staring out at the waves when he arrived. He deliberately made his footsteps heavier so that she would hear his approach. He didn’t want to scare her. When he reached her, he joined her sitting on the edge of the pier. He didn’t say anything, but stared out at the waves, waiting for her to speak if she wanted to. He watched her in his periphery and noted the way she curled into herself, knees drawn up towards her chest, arms hugging herself tightly and head resting on top of her knees. He also noted her tear streaked cheeks and red eyes.

Since arriving in the city, he had spent a lot of time with the young woman and had grown to appreciate her company. He understood why Rodney thought he was the worst person to deal with her right now. To most people in the city the doctor was a bright and energetic personality, with wit and charm that he assumed was hereditary since the Major also possessed it. Despite this, Ronon had learned that there was another side to the younger of the Sheppard siblings. She could be quiet and pensive and would happily spend hours sitting with him in silence. Sometimes she felt the need to fill the silence with inane chatter and while he enjoyed listening to her talk, he also appreciated that she knew the value of silence. She never pushed him to talk, but waited for him to open up. He was sure he had spoken more with her in the past few months then he had in the entire 7 years he’d spent as a runner. The comfort they both found in silence enveloped them now at the end of the pier and he waited, knowing she would talk to him when she was ready.

“I don’t know what to do,” Nat whispered after almost half an hour had passed. “I’m a doctor, it’s my job to help him and I have no idea what to do.” Ronon placed an arm around her small shoulders and she instantly lent into his side as the tears began to fall again.  “I feel so helpless and Carson’s put him in a medically induced coma so I can’t even talk to him.”

“I’m sure Dr Beckett could use your help,” Ronon replied.

“I wouldn’t be much help,” Nat sobbed. “Carson specialises in genetics and I only have a basic understanding from med school. I’m so out of my depth when it comes to the retrovirus.”

Ronon pulled her tighter to him as her tears increased and they stayed that way until Dr Weir’s voice cut across their radios.

“Dr Sheppard, please meet me in the infirmary. Dr Beckett has a plan.”

Nat stared at Ronon for a split second before she stood and took off running, he chased after her and they made it to the infirmary in record time. Dr Beckett quickly explained his plan to send Sheppard into the cave to retrieve the eggs. Ronon was just glad to finally be able do something, and he watched quietly as John was woken up from the coma and Dr Weir explained the plan to him. Everyone left the room to prepare for the mission, giving Natalie a moment with her brother. Ronon remained in the corner, just in case the inhibitor didn’t work and Sheppard needed to be stunned again.

“Carson seems to think this’ll work,” Nat began and Ronon could tell that she was trying to sound positive, but failing.

“You’re not coming with us,” John told her. “If this doesn’t work, I don’t want you to see that. I want to say goodbye while I’m still lucid.”

Natalie nodded her head in understanding and the siblings held each other. Ronon left the room to prepare for the mission.


	11. JOHN

John approached the door to Natalie’s quarters and swiped his hand over the panel next to the door. They had established shortly after arriving in the city that the siblings were able to access each other’s rooms even when locked and had assumed it was a combination of them being related and also having strong connections to the ATA gene. As a result, they had both become used to entering each other’s quarters without knocking and this day was no exception and John began talking before the door was completely open.

“Hey Tally, want to join me on a run…” he began, stopping abruptly when he entered the room.

Ronon was sitting on Natalie’s bed with his back against the wall. Natalie was straddled across his hips and the two were kissing passionately. John froze in the doorway taking in the scene before him. Natalie’s hands framed Ronon’s face, while his roamed up under her shirt and across her back.

“Shit, sorry!” John said, before quickly turning on his heels and leaving the room.  As he made his way down the hallway he heard someone running behind him.

“John, wait!” Nat called out to him, and he stopped, turning to face her.

“Please don't be mad at me,” Natalie begged him

“Why would I be mad at you?” He asked.

“I don't know. It just seems like the natural reaction to walking in on your little sister making out with a man from an alien planet.”

John couldn't help the laugh that escaped him.

“I’m more embarrassed than anything else,” John replied. “I would have thought I’d avoided the possibility of walking in on you with a guy since I wasn’t around for your teen years. To be completely honest with you Tal, I can't really say that I understand you two together, but if you're happy, I'm happy. Are you happy?”

Her smile was all the answer he needed.

“I really am,” she beamed.

“Well then that's all I need,” John smiled in reply. “You know this could be a problem actually.”

Nat looked at him in confusion.

“As your big brother, I'm supposed to threaten your boyfriend and tell him I'll kill him if he hurts you but between you and me I honestly couldn't take Ronon in a fight.”

Natalie laughed and he smiled, happy to have lifted the tension out of her shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short one but this didn't really fit in anywhere else. If you're enjoying this please leave a comment and let me know what you think


	12. NATALIE [2x11]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 2x11 'THE HIVE'

Natalie was working in the infirmary when McKay was brought in.

“Rodney?” she gasped. “They’re back?”

“I’m afraid not,” Carson replied, “It seems Rodney was the only one to come through the gate. He’s been injected with the wraith enzyme.”

“Rodney, where are the others?” Natalie asked, leaning over to look him in the eye. He was mumbling incoherently, but she persisted. “Rodney, we need to know where they are. Where are John, Ronon and Teyla?”

When she was still unable to gain a response from him, she turned her attention to helping Beckett set him up on an IV.

* * *

Natalie was standing in the control room when the call came through from the Daedalus and Chuck informed both her and Elizabeth that the ship would arrive back in the city within a few hours.

“They called the search off?” Elizabeth asked sombrely.

“They said there was nothing to search for,” Chuck replied, and Natalie dropped her head in grief, a small sob escaped her. Elizabeth quickly guided the doctor into her office, and she slumped into one of the chairs, her head in her hands as the tears flowed.

“They’re gone,” she said with a haunted tone. “They’re all gone.”

Elizabeth sat with her for the next 15 minutes until they were interrupted by the sounds of the gate activating and both made their way to the control room.

“Off world activation!” Chuck called out.

“Who is it?” Elizabeth asked.

“We have an IDC” Chucked answered, “It's Colonel Sheppard's code.”

“Let them in!” She replied, and Natalie watched as she ran down the stairs towards the gate. As soon as John, Ronon and Teyla appeared through the event horizon, she also took off running down the stairs.

“Sorry we’re late,” John joked and then watched as Nat sprinted towards them. To most of the rooms shock she ran straight past her brother and threw herself into the arms of Ronon, kissing him deeply as he lifted her off the ground.

“You’re alive,” she sighed as she buried her face into his neck.

* * *

After a completing an examination of the pair in the infirmary, both Ronon and Teyla were given a full bill of health and after releasing them, Natalie walked with Ronon back to his quarters. She yawned as the door closed behind them and Ronon led her over to his bed.

“You look exhausted,” he noted as she sat.

“I was up with Rodney in the infirmary all night,” she explained. “I wanted to be there when he woke up so I could find out where you and John and Teyla were. Didn’t get much sleep.”

“Sorry I worried you,” he replied, “get some sleep.”

Natalie nodded, laying down on the bed and pulling Ronon with her. They both fell asleep within minutes of their heads hitting the pillow, Ronon’s arms wrapped around Natalie.


	13. NATALIE [2x16]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 2x16 'THE LONG GOODBYE'

_“Medical team to the south fork Cargo Hold. You have a man down.”_

“Dr Benson, Dr Marks,” Natalie called out, “You’re with me. We’ll radio in when we know the situation.” She took off running for the Cargo Hold, wraith stunner in hand just in case. When they reached the entrance to the cargo hold, she motioned for the other two doctors to wait there while she checked the area was clear. She entered with her weapon raised and scanned the room. “All clear, guys” she announced, “Let’s find our patient.”

“Dr Sheppard!” Marks called from across the room after a few minutes and Natalie ran over to where he was kneeling on the floor. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Ronon lying unconscious in front of him. “He’s breathing,” Marks told her, “but he’s been shot in the abdomen.”

“Ok, let’s pack the wound and get him on a stretcher,” Nat ordered, slipping into doctor mode and pushing aside the fear she was feeling for the man she loved.

By the time they reached the infirmary and brought Ronon into the waiting OR he had lost a significant amount of blood. They were still without power, leaving Carson and Natalie to operate under flashlights. In normal circumstances, it would be a simple operation but this felt more like field medicine than anything else. They were both acutely aware of how reliant they had become on the ancient’s scanners, and without any way to visualise Ronons wounds they would just have to hope they hadn’t missed anything as they closed the wound. As they completed the surgery the power blazed back on and Nat rushed Ronon towards a scanner to make certain they hadn’t missed any internal damage. Once the scan was completed he was set up in the ward to recover and Natalie remained by his side, worried and painfully aware that her brother was still running around the city possessed by an alien.

* * *

She held Ronons hand as she waited for him to wake up, feeling reassured by the steady beat of his pulse beneath her fingers. She listened intently to the radio, waiting for Rodney to override the lockdown. She leaned forward until her forehead rested on Ronon, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she listened to Weir, Teyla and Caldwell over the radio.

 _“Shoot him, or I release the gas and just hope it reaches the both of you,”_ Weir ordered.

 _“She has the capability of doing what she claims,”_ Caldwell informed Teyla. _“Teyla ... I'm not going to tell you what to do.”_

 _“I am,”_ Weir interjected coldly. _“Kill him!”_

“Teyla. It’s Nat. He’d want you to do this. He would never let you risk the lives of the expedition to save himself.”

Nat waited, barely breathing.

 _“Forgive me, John,”_ she heard Teyla beg softly.

 _“Teyla, this is Caldwell. Do not fire! I repeat, do not fire!”_ Nat sat up straight, letting out a deep breath as the doors opened.

_\----_

Natalie was still sitting be Ronon’s bedside when John walked in, however now he was awake.

“Hey Sheppard,” Ronon greeted, grunting as he tried to sit up.

“Take it easy,” John told him, placing a comforting hand on Nat’s shoulder as he came to stand next to her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Ronon replied. “You?”

“A bit weird,” John admitted, “But glad it’s all over.”

“You and me both,” Nat sighed, turning to look at her brother. “John, about what I told Teyla….”

“It’s ok,” John interrupted. “You were right, I would have told her to do it. You made the right call.”

Natalie nodded her thanks and stood to hug him.

“I’m just glad Rodney saved the day again.”


	14. ELIZABETH

“Doctor Weir?”

Elizabeth looked up from the report to find Ronon standing at the door to her office.

“Ronon, how can help you?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you about earth,” he said nervously as he entered the room and sat down across the desk from her.

“Of course,” Elizabeth smiled, “What would you like to know?”

“Ummm…” Ronon started, “Sheppard told he was married once.” Elizabeth took note of the way Ronon said married like it was a word he didn’t really understand. “It sounded like something we had on Sateda called the bonding. I was wondering if you could tell me about it.”

She held back the small smile that was twitching her lips as she began to understand Ronon’s question. 

“Well when two people decide to commit themselves to one another on earth, one of the pair proposes to the other. Which means they ask the other to marry them. Then some time later, often a year or more, there is a ceremony called a wedding, where they promise to love each other for the rest of their lives and they have a party to celebrate with their family and friends.”

“Right,” Ronon replied. “And how exactly does this proposal work?”

“You want to propose to Natalie?” Elizabeth asked and when Ronon nodded she explained. “Well traditionally on earth you would buy a ring and then you would kneel down on one knee and ask her to marry you and you would tell her why you wanted to marry her. Why you love her.”

“Is there anything special about the ring? Or can it be any kind of ring?” Ronon asked.

“Generally, it has diamonds set in it, they are a type of gemstone found on earth, but I’m sure any kind of ring would work. Dr Sheppard doesn’t seem like the superficial type to be concerned with the design. I’m assuming Sateda doesn’t have anything similar to a proposal.”

“No,” Ronon replied. “After courting for a few months, it is just expected that you either stop courting or proceed with the bonding ceremony.”

“is there anything else you’d like to know about Ronon?”

“No. Thank you Dr Weir,” Ronon said and without another word he left.


	15. RONON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue heavy scenes aren't my strong suite so please let me know if you liked this.

The infirmary was empty when he entered and walked towards the back of the room to where Natalie and Beckett each had an office. She was sitting at her desk, staring at her computer screen when he arrived.

“Knock, Knock,” he said as he lent against the doorpost.

“Hey,” Natalie replied, smiling warmly has she looked up at him.

“Any chance I can steal you away for dinner?”

She looked at her watch and then back at him. “I had no idea it was so late. I must have lost track of time.”

“How’s a picnic out on the south pier sound?” he asked, lifting a picnic basket up to illustrate his question.

“That sounds perfect,” Nat replied, getting up from behind her desk and walking over to him. He held out his free hand and linked his fingers with hers as they made their way out of the infirmary and down the hallway.

When they reached the south pier Ronon pulled a blanket out of the basket and laid it out on the ground. They both sat and he proceeded to pull the food out. As they ate they chatted happily about their days. When they’d finished eating, Ronon found himself becoming quite nervous.

“So, there’s something I wanted to say,” Ronon began hesitantly. “When I first met you, I just wanted that tracking device out of me so that I could go home, and then when I found out home was gone I didn’t know what to do. I was alone and you made an effort to change that. You made me realise that I didn’t have to be alone forever.”

Ronon paused, swallowing against the lump in his throat. He wasn’t good at this, but he needed to say it. He needed her to know how much she meant to him.

“I don’t know when I realised I’d fallen in love with you, it just crept up on me and before I knew it you were the centre of my world. I love you Natalie. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and I want you to know that I would do anything for you.”

“I love you too, Ronon,” Nat interjected, “but what is all this?”

“I spoke to Elizabeth and she helped explain how this is done on earth so here it goes,” Ronon reached into his pocket as he knelt on one knee. He reached out to Nat and held out the ring. “Will you marry me?” he asked.

Ronon held his breath when Nat remained silent, staring at the ring in his hand.

Finally, she nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Yes,” she sobbed, “Yes, of course I will.”

His smiled widely as she allowed him to slip the ring onto her left hand then she was in his arms and he lifted her off the ground.  When they finally pulled apart Nat looked back at the ring on her hand.

“If you don’t like it I can get something else,” he blurted out.

“Don’t you dare,” she replied. “It’s perfect.”

The band was made of a black metal commonly found in the Pegasus Galaxy and the single stone was a deep blue.

“It looks like the stargate,” Natalie commented.

“That’s why I picked it,” he explained.

As she moved her hand the light played across the surface, looking like the ripples of an active wormhole.

“I love you,” she said, sitting back down on the picnic blanket and pulling him down with her. He laid down on his back looking up at the stars above them and Natalie lay beside him with her head cushioned on his chest.

“You said Elizabeth told you how to propose,” Nat commented, breaking the comfortable silence. “How would you have done it if we were on Sateda?”

“There isn’t any kind of grand proposal in Satedan culture,” he explained. “After courting for a few months, I would have built us a house and our family would have come for a feast when it was finished and then we would have moved in together. There would have been a small ceremony before the feast called the Bonding, and then we would have been bonded for life.”

“What happens at the Bonding?” Natalie asked.

“We would have etched the symbol of eternity into each other's skins and shared wine from the same cup,” Ronon explained, “Then our parents would have told of their hopes for our future and we would have promised ourselves to each other.”

“That sounds nice,” Nat sighed, still staring up at the stars.

“What happens during a wedding on earth?”

“It depends on the country you come from and the god you worship,” she replied. “In America, you invite all your friends and family and they all sit facing an arch under which the couple will stand and the groom, that would be you, would stand under the arch with his groomsmen, who are his best friends or brothers. I would wear a white dress and walk towards you with my father as music played and when I joined you under the arch, my father would place my hand into yours and then a minister would read out a heap of boring religious stuff. Then we would promise to love and cherish each other, and place wedding rings on each other’s fingers. Then we would kiss and go and have a party.”

“Is that something you would want to do?” Ronon asked.

“I don’t know,” Nat replied. “Maybe some of it.”

“Yeah, some of that sounds nice,” Ronon agreed and they fell silent, watching the stars and enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms.


	16. JOHN

As John flew the Jumper over the mainland, he saw a large group gathered around in a clearing, waiting for the Jumpers arrival.  The group was made up of members of the expedition as well as many of the Athosians. He landed the Jumper nearby and turned in his seat to face Nat. She was sitting in the co-pilot seat in a wedding gown and he could see she was staring at the waiting crowd nervously.

“You ready to go?” He asked, standing and adjusting his dress uniform before offering his hand.

“Let’s do this,” she smiled, taking his hand and the pair made their way to the back of the jumper. They paused before exiting and John turned to face his little sister.

“Before we go,” he began, “I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. I know in a perfect world, mum and dad and Dave would be here today, but I want you to know that I love you.”

“I love you too John,” Nat replied emotionally, “You’re the only family I need with me today.”

John pulled her to him for a brief hug and then linking arms, they made their way from the Jumper towards the waiting crowd. Ronon and Nat had decided on incorporating wedding traditions from Earth, Sateda and Athos in their day and the resulting ceremony was an interesting and unique combination of the three. John walked Nat down the aisle towards where Ronon waited with Teyla. When they reached them, John kissed Nat on the cheek and hugged Ronon before taking his seat beside Rodney. Teyla oversaw the ceremony and spoke of the strong connection between the couple. They shared traditional Satedan promises that John thought sounded rather similar to Christian vows and then Teyla poured wine into an ornate glass, from which both Natalie and Ronon drank. The ceremony didn’t last long, and when it concluded the guests made their way to the waiting fleet of Jumpers which ferried them back to the city. After the guests left, John watched as Ronon tattooed a symbol onto the inside of Nat’s wrist. Ronon had told him about the tattoo and how it was a Satedan symbol that represented the unending bond they had formed. It was a circle, within which was a diamond shape that was connected to two leaf shapes on either side, all of which were interlocked in one continuous line, that reminded John of Celtic symbols on earth. After Ronon finished the tattoo, Natalie inked the same design onto the inside of his wrist as well. They then boarded the final jumper and John flew them back to Atlantis. He smiled softly when he glanced toward the back of the jumper and saw them sitting wrapped up in each other’s arms and talking softly and smiling brightly. He was happy that his sister had found someone who loved her the way she deserved, and was even happier that now Ronon truly was his brother. After parking in the Jumper bay, they walked down the halls towards the mess hall, where a feast had been set up. The celebrations lasted well into the night until the newlyweds finally excused themselves from the party well after midnight and made their way to their new quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tattoo is of a Celtic Everlasting Love Symbol


	17. CARSON/NATALIE [3x01]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 3x01 'NO MAN'S LAND'

Carson walked into the infirmary and stopped, shaking his head at the sight in front of him.

“And what do you think you're doing?” he asked in amusement.

Natalie was sitting on a gurney in front of him with her sleeve rolled up and a needle in the crook of her arm. She looked up sheepishly at her friend's arrival.

“I was just trying to take a blood sample,” she explained.

“What for?” Carson asked as he took the needle from her hand and set about withdrawing her blood.

“I'm sure it's nothing,” she replied. “I've just been feeling crappy. Wanted to make sure it was nothing serious.”

Carson looked up at her face as he withdrew the needle. “What are your symptoms?” He asked.

“Nausea, muscle aches, general lethargy,” Natalie listed. “It’s probably just the beginnings of the flu but you never know with all the time I spend off world.”

_“Dr Sheppard to the control room. Dr Sheppard report to the control room.”_

“Go see what that's all about and I'll run this,” Carson offered, “I'll call you if I find anything.”

Natalie quickly thanked him and left the infirmary, jogging towards the control room.

* * *

“Natalie,” Elizabeth greeted as she enters Elizabeth’s office, “take a seat.”

“Something went wrong on the mission, didn’t it?” Natalie asked as she sat.

“Yes,” Elizabeth replied sadly. “The hives jumped to hyperspace before we could beam Dr McKay and Ronon off and… and Colonel Sheppard is missing.”

Natalie didn’t speak. She wouldn’t have known what to say if she tried. No matter how many times she was confronted with John’s possible death, it never got any easier. She felt a hole open up in the pit of her stomach and she tried to swallow against the lump in her throat. Not only was John missing, but so was Ronon. She didn’t know how to respond. Elizabeth tried to comfort her but upon the arrival of Colonel Caldwell in the control room she excused herself to discuss their options. Natalie was still sitting in Dr Weir’s office when Elizabeth returned, followed by Caldwell, Teyla and Zalenka. She listened as they planned to chase down the hive ships and engage in battle. When Elizabeth mentioned committing the Orion, Natalie finally found a focus for her seething emotions. She waited until everyone left the room before addressing Elizabeth.

“With your permission, I want to be the one to pilot the Orion,” she stated.

“Natalie,” Elizabeth replied, clearly preparing her arguments against the idea.

“You need someone with a strong ATA gene,” Natalie rebutted, “You and I both know that I’m our best choice. With John… with John gone, I’m the best pilot we have for an ancient vessel.”

“If this goes wrong…” Elizabeth began to counter.

“If this goes wrong my family are dead,” Natalie interrupted, “If given the chance I’d rather go down fighting to save them.”

* * *

Aboard the Orion, Natalie looked across the bridge from her vantage point in the command chair. People were running about and it was a hive of activity as they worked to prepare the ship for battle.

“Dr Sheppard, we’re approaching our t-zero,” Caldwell announced over the radio.

“Rodger that,” Natalie replied, “Zelenka says she'll fly, sir, but… as of right now… that's about all she can do.”

_“You'll have thirteen hours en route to get your weapons and shields online, but we need to leave right now to make this window. Are you a go or no go?”_

“We're a go, Colonel,” Natalie responded.

_“Very well. On my mark. Three, two, one, mark.”_

Both ships engaged hyperspace windows and accelerated through them.

* * *

As they dropped out of hyperspace, Natalie took in the battle before them, the Daedalus was dwarfed by the two massive hive ships, and darts were deployed.

“Dr Sheppard, now would be a good time to open fire,” Caldwell announced.

“My thoughts exactly Colonel,” Nat replied. “I gave the order but nothing happened. We’re having difficulty transferring power from shields to weapons.”

_“There's a hive bearing down on your position.”_

“Yes, sir, I see that. Stand by.” Natalie turned her attention to Dr Zalenka at nearby control panel. “What have you got for me Radek?”

“OK. I have it. I have it. I have it,” he replied excitedly.

Natalie lent back in the command chair, and focused on the Orion’s weapons.

“Firing Drones!” she announced.

Dozens of the glowing missiles lanced out from the Orion and flew towards the hives. Natalie closed her eyes, picturing their paths, directing them towards their target. Around her, explosions rang out and sparks flew as the hives returned fire, without shields they were sitting ducks, she only hoped she could do enough damage before they were taken out. Suddenly, the drones stopped responding to her commands.

“What’s happening Radek?” she yelled.

“We’re losing power,” he replied.

“One more shot, Zelenka, that's all I'm asking!”

“I just cannot give you what I don't have!” he yelled back, running to another console in desperation. “There's too much damage! We need to abandon ship! We sacrificed our shield capability for our first attack! This ship is going to blow any moment!”

Natalie looked around her in panic as explosions continued to ring out, more sparks erupted from control panels. “Colonel Caldwell,” Natalie radioed, “I'm afraid we've done everything we can on our end. Request immediate beam-out to Daedalus.” Within a moment they appeared on the bridge of the Daedalus. “Sorry we couldn’t do more, Colonel.”

“Never mind, you did what you could,” Caldwell replied. Natalie quickly left them room, heading for the ships infirmary. If they survived this battle that was where she would be needed next.

Unaware of the events taking place on the bridge, Natalie reached the infirmary as the shield failed and explosions rocked the ship. Then everything stopped. She turned her attention to the crew members in need of her help and busied herself in the work.

As the hours passed by more people were succumbing to the lack of oxygen and Natalie herself was feeling weak and dizzy. As she made her way to the bridge to check in, she came across Rodney.

“You’re alive!” she gasped. “You’re here!”

“Nat?” Rodney asked in shock, “what the hell are you doing here?”

“I piloted the Orion,” she explained, “Well, until it blew up that is.”

“Does Sheppard know you here?” Rodney asked.

“John’s on board?” Natalie replied. “Is Ronon?”

“Yes, Yes, they’re both here, somewhere.”

Natalie took off down the corridor, searching for her family. She found Ronon first, throwing herself into his arms, grateful to have found him.


	18. RONON [3x01]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 3x01 'NO MAN'S LAND'

Three days had passed and Ronon found himself in the control room of the hive ship. They were slowly making their way back to Atlantis but with the damage sustained during the battle, it was taking some time to reach the city. Despite now having access to breathable air, they had been without food or water for the last two days. Rodney and John were standing nearby at a control station and Natalie was slumped against a wall, she had been growing steadily weaker over the course of their journey and sat down a few hours ago. Ronon knelt down beside her.

“How are you doing?” he asked, placing a cold hand to her forehead.

“I’m hanging in there,” Natalie replied in a whisper, but the grimace on her face told him otherwise. Her pulse was sluggish and her eyelids dropped, her blinks lengthening.

“McKay how much longer is this going to take?” Ronon asked impatiently.

“We should reach Atlantis within the hour,” McKay replied, “I’m trying to get communications up so we can tell them not to shoot us.”

Ronon looked back down at his new wife, worried that she didn’t have that long. While still on the Daedalus she had refused to use any of the breathing apparatus, instead giving the oxygen to her patients. It was clear even to Ronon that the prolonged lack of oxygen and then the added strain of having no water or food had severely weakened her. He sat down on the floor and pulled her to him.

“We’re dropping out of hyperspace,” Rodney announced suddenly, “Sheppard, communications are online.”

“Atlantis this is Sheppard, Come in.”

Ronon breathed a sigh of relief that they had made it but his relief was short lived when he felt Natalie go limp against him. He checked for a pulse and it was barely there. Her breathing was shallow and she was unresponsive.

“Sheppard!” he called over his shoulder.

John turned towards him and rushed over when he saw Natalie cradled in Ronons arms.

“She’s barely breathing,” Ronon told him. “We need to get her down there now!”

“Daedalus, this is Sheppard,” John announced, keying his radio. “We’ve got an emergency. I need you to lock on to Dr Sheppard and Ronon and beam them to the infirmary on Atlantis immediately.”

“Rodger that Sheppard,” came the reply from the Daedalus.

Ronon stood cradling Natalie in his arms as the beam activated and he was standing in the infirmary.  Before he had chance to place her down on a bed, Dr Beckett raced into the room.

“What happened, son?” he asked. Ronon tried to explain as quickly as possible, while he laid her gently down on a nearby bed. He stepped back as Beckett and other medical staff swarmed around her.

* * *

Hours passed as Ronon continued to wait. Natalie was hooked up to countless machines with a number of tubes and leads attached to her. He sat in a seat drawn up to the side of her bed. John had joined him after a few hours and was sitting on the empty hospital bed next the Nat’s. She started to wake slowly, and soon she was blinking against the harsh lights overhead.

“Nat?” Ronon asked, leaning over her. “You’re ok. You’re in the infirmary.”

“We made it?” she mumbled.

“Yeah,” John added, standing opposite Ronon, “We’re all home. I’m going to go let Beckett know you’re up.” Ronon watched as John left the room and then turned his attention back to Nat.

“You scared me,” he admitted, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Sorry,” she replied, voice husky from lack of use. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ronon responded as John returned with Beckett a step behind.

“Glad to see you awake, Natalie,” Beckett greeted. Ronon tried to pay attention to the conversation between the two doctors but he really didn’t follow anything either of them said and he decided he didn’t really care. Natalie was going to be ok and that was all he really needed to know.

“Now there’s something else I wanted to discuss with you Natalie,” Beckett continued, “If you lads wouldn’t mind giving us some privacy.”

“It’s ok Carson,” Nat replied, “Whatever it is, you can say it in front of them.”

“Alright then, if you’re sure. I ran the blood work you gave me before you left and I got a result.”

“What blood work?” John interrupted.

“I was feeling off before the rescue mission so I had Carson run my blood to see if I’d caught a bug or something,” Nat explained. “What did you find, Carson?”

 “You’re pregnant,” Carson informed her.

Ronon’s eyes met Natalie’s and the couple’s faces broke into matching grins. He laid down over his wife and wrapped his arms around her as best he could without getting tangled in the leads and tubes.


	19. NATALIE [3x04]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 3x04 'SATEDA'

“I’ve got to tell you Elizabeth,” Nat said, “I’m really not enjoying being left behind while they all go off world.”

Elizabeth smiled at her in understanding. The two women were sitting in Elizabeth’s office having tea. Natalie knew that she had only been invited in an effort to distract her and she appreciated Elizabeth’s attempt.

“I’m sure it will get easier,” Elizabeth replied kindly.

“Unscheduled off world activation!” Chuck called from the control room.  Both women stood and rushed towards the gate as Rodney stumbled through and fell to the floor, an arrow protruding from his ass.

“Rodney!” Elizabeth called, and Natalie keyed her radio.

“Medical team to the gate room!” she called.

“Rodney, where are the others?” Elizabeth asked as they reached him and Natalie knelt to inspect the wound.

“They’re right behind me,” Rodney replied and Natalie looked up in time to see the gate deactivate.

“Carson,” Nat announced over the radio, “I’m sending you a patient. Rodney’s been shot in the ass with an arrow.”

The medical team moved Rodney onto a gurney and they wheeled him of the gate room.

* * *

“Incoming worm hole,” Chuck announced, and Natalie watched on nervously as marines aimed their weapons at the gate. “It’s Colonel Sheppard’s IDC ma’am.”

Natalie rushed forward as John and Teyla appeared through the event horizon, but her steps faltered when Ronon did not appear behind them. A major approached John and is informed of the situation. Once they were armed and preparing to return through the Gate, John spotted Nat standing frozen on the steps.

“I’m going to get him back,” he promised her sternly before disappearing through the wormhole.

Natalie sat heavily on the steps, staring at the empty gate, waiting and praying.

* * *

“I’m going,” Natalie told her brother.

“No, you’re not,” John replied.

“I’ll stay in the jumper the whole time,” Nat conceded. “Then I can remove the transmitter before you go back to the Daedalus.”

“No,” John repeated stubbornly. “You agreed, no more missions while you’re pregnant.”

“John,” Natalie said, her voice dropping to barely a whisper, heavy with emotion. “It’s Ronon.”

John’s face fell in defeat. “You don’t leave the jumper.”

* * *

Natalie watched from the pilot seat of the jumper as Ronon fought with the wraith in single combat. The longer the fight progressed, the clearer it was that Ronon was not going to win.

“Why hasn’t John shot this asshole yet?” Natalie demanded in frustration. She hadn’t really needed an answer, but Rodney offered one anyway.

“Ronon probably told him not to interfere.”

“Well he didn’t tell me,” Nat replied, pulling the cloaked jumper in to hover in front of the battle. Just as the wraith was about to feed on him, she dropped the cloak and fired a drone at it.  She opened the rear hatch long enough for John and Teyla to drag Ronon aboard, and then flew off, cloaking the jumper as they moved. Once they left the planets orbit, Natalie left the controls and rushed to the rear compartment. As she entered, Ronon struggled to pull himself to his feet and the couple embraced.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Nat begged as she held him.

“I won’t,” Ronon promised. “I’m sorry.” He pulled away from his wife and looked at his team in the back of the jumper. “Thank you,” he told them emotionally.

“How about you let me get that transmitter out of you?” Nat asked as Ronon slumped back in his seat in exhaustion. “I take it you’ll let me give you an anaesthetic this time. Or not,” she finished as Ronon passed out and collapsed onto the floor of the jumper.  Teyla helped her remove his heavy chest armour and she set about removing the device as she heard John address Rodney.

“Who’s flying the ship?” he asked

“Me,” Rodney replied, “Oh.”

Natalie smirked a little as she heard Rodney scuffle back towards the pilot’s seat.

“What do you need?” John asked as he knelt down next to her.

“For you to go pilot the ship before Rodney screws something up,” Natalie replied as she cut into the flesh of her husband’s back.

“Good call,” John chuckled. “Give me a heads up when that thing’s dead and we can go home.”

“John?” Nat began as he stood to leave. She didn’t look up as she pulled out the transmitter, “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” He replied, patting her on the shoulder before going to take over control of the Jumper.


	20. NATALIE/RONON/NATALIE [3x07]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 3x07 'COMMON GROUND'

Natalie stood beside Dr Weir in the control room staring at the video screen in front of them. Her hands rested on her growing stomach and she felt seething rage as she listened to Colonel Kolya. As he stepped aside to reveal John, gagged and bound, Ronon stepped up behind her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“What have you done to him?” Rodney asked, stepping forward to stand beside Natalie.

 _“Nothing whatsoever, Doctor McKay,”_ Kolya replied.

“OK, let me rephrase that,” McKay snapped, “What are you planning to do?”

_“It's quite simple. I'd like to make a trade.”_

“Before we continue this conversation another second,” Elizabeth interjected, “I want to speak with Sheppard.”

_“Be my guest.”_

“We'll rephrase that, too,” McKay clarified, “We would like him to be able to speak to us.”

_“Very well.”_

_“On my command authority,”_ John yelled, _“Whatever he asks, don't do it, even ...”_

He was cut off by the guards roughly replacing the gag over his mouth and Natalie watched on in concern as Kolya and Elizabeth discussed Kolya’s demands.

“No,” Natalie whispered in horror as she watched a wraith be led towards her brother. As it began to feed, she turned away, unable to watch and buried her face into Ronon’s chest as his arms wrapped around her protectively.

“STOP! STOP!” Elizabeth called, and Natalie turned her head to see the wraith pulled away. John was still alive. For now. Kolya informed them they had 3 hours to turn over Laden before John was fed upon again and then the video feed was cut.

* * *

Ronon watched as Natalie stormed from the conference room. He understood her anger that Dr Weir would not hand Laden over to Kolya. He spared Weir a glare, before following his wife. He found her on the balcony leading off from Weirs office, staring out over the ocean.

“I understand that Elizabeth can’t give in to his demands,” Natalie sighed. “But I can’t watch him die.”

Ronon’s heart broke for her. John was the only family she had and he knew the pain of that loss. There was nothing he could say to her that would ease her suffering, nothing he could do to bring him home. He felt useless. He pulled her close to him and they stood out on the balcony, holding on to each other tightly until Rodney managed to find a gate address.

* * *

Natalie watched on from the control room, as the marines assembled for the rescue mission. Rodney was attempting to give a rousing speech, and she smirked slightly at his attempt. Her smile disappeared as the gate activated and they entered the event horizon. Just before he stepped through, Ronon turned to look at her. They locked eyes and she nodded, ‘Please come back’ she thought as he disappeared.

They were not gone long before Kolya contacted them and Natalie found herself once again watching as the wraith fed upon her brother. Without Ronon’s strength beside her, she crumpled when the video abruptly ended. She sat heavily in a seat and placed her head in her hands. She gasped for breath as panic overwhelmed her. She knew Elizabeth would not negotiate with Kolya and in 2 hours’ time, her brother would be murdered.

* * *

Natalie sat on the main staircase in the gate room, staring at the blank wall behind the stargate, wishing for it to activate. She had been sitting in the same place since watching the second rescue mission leave over an hour earlier. Elizabeth had tried to assure her that the mission would succeed but eventually had left Nat alone. Now she felt numb, she longer felt the fear, grief or anger that had overwhelmed her earlier in the day. As she waited she felt the child inside her kick, and she wished that Ronon was there to share the moment with her.

When the gate activated, Nat remained seated, waiting to see who would walk through it. her heart broke as is wormhole closed. The rescue team had returned without John. Ronon pushed through the crowd of marines, but she didn’t see his approach. Her head was once again buried in her hands as deep sobs ripped through her chest.

“He’s alive,” Ronon announced as he lifted her off the step and held her close. She pulled out of his arms far enough to look at his eyes and she saw the truth of his words. “He just had something to take care of first.”

Natalie buried her head in his chest as her tears increased, only now they were tears of joy instead of grief.

10 minutes later, John stepped through the gate, and only barely remained standing as Natalie threw herself at him, holding him tightly. He returned her hug, as he whispered in her ear.

“It’s ok. I’m still here.”


	21. JOHN/NATALIE [3x09]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites the ending of 3x09 'PHANTOMS'

When Atlantis dialled the gate, John briefed Elizabeth of the situation on the planet. She informed him that the Daedalus would not arrive until the following day and he agreed that she should send someone through with food, water and more medical equipment for Beckett. He really shouldn’t have been surprised when Nat walked into the clearing, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. Ronon rushed forward to take the bags from his pregnant wife, grimacing at the sting from his bullet wound.

“Don’t,” Natalie warned him as John glared at her. “You said it yourself that it’s perfectly safe now and Carson needed an extra pair of hands.”

John continued to glare at his little sister, but stood to help Ronon with the bags

* * *

As night fell Teyla and Ronon built a fire at the entrance to the cave, and John sat at the edge of the clearing, staring out into the forest, keeping watch. He didn’t look up as he heard Natalie approach and join him where he was sitting, leaning against a broad tree trunk.

“You still mad at me?” she asked when he didn’t speak.

“I’m not mad,” John told her as he finally turned his head to look at her. “Well maybe a little,” he conceded in response to the look she levelled at him.

“I’m pregnant, John, not disabled,” she replied, “Besides, when I heard you telling Elizabeth what happened. I thought you might need your sister.”

He sighed heavily and knew that there was no way to avoid this conversation. Natalie deserved the truth.

“I never wanted to have to tell you about any of this,” he told her.

“Whatever it is, I’ll listen,” Nat promised him, “and it won’t change anything between us.”

“My last tour in Afghanistan,” he began hesitantly, “Some buddies of mine were on a mission and it went bad. Like really bad. I was on the base in Kandahar when the call came in that their chopper had crashed. Command were taking too long co-ordinating extraction scenarios with the Afghans and I knew my guys didn’t have long. I stole a chopper and headed in to rescue them, but my tail rotor got taken out by some small arms fire and I had to ride it down. By the time I found them Holland was the only one left. He was hiding out in the shell of an old Russian chopper.”

John paused in his story, swallowing back the feelings that bubbled to the surface with the memories. Nat took his hand and squeezed it supportively.

“I tried to get him out of there, but we got caught.  We were going west, I know we were. They weren’t supposed to be there, but we ran straight into them.”

He paused again. Even after all these years he could still feel the desert heat. They’d been going west, he knew it was west.

“You ran in to who?” Natalie asked him gently when he didn’t continue.

“The Taliban,” John replied. “They captured me, but by then Holland was gone. They had me for 6 days before rescue showed up.”

He knew by the look on Natalie’s face, that his eyes showed the horror of those days. He looked away when he saw her own eyes cloud with tears. “John,” she whispered. He heard the heartbreak in her tone and hated that he was the reason for it.

“I was in pretty bad shape when they got me back to Kandahar so I guess they took pity on me and decided not to court martial me.  I still got a black mark on my record for it though, and they banished me to Antarctica after that.”

He let his head fall as he reached the end of his story and felt Nat wrap her arms tightly around his shoulders. He lent into her and returned the hug, grateful to have her there. He wondered what he would have done differently if he’d had her waiting for him to come home.

After a while, John pulled himself back together and the siblings returned to the fire side. Ronon offered to take up watch, but John told him not to bother. There was no more danger.

He watched as Nat walked over to her husband and gently lowered herself to sit beside him. Ronon placed his uninjured arm around her shoulder and she cuddled into his side, resting her head against his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles across her pregnant stomach.

John took a seat beside Rodney, ignoring him when he heard him mumble, “I can’t believe you shot me,” under his breath.

_\----_

Natalie woke to the baby’s kicking and sat up slowly, careful not to wake Ronon. They had both fallen asleep sitting up against the Cave wall beside the entrance. As she sat up, Ronon’s arm fell from around her shoulder, but he continued to sleep. It was early, the sky only just beginning to lighten with the coming dawn and Natalie rubbed her belly, trying to sooth the restless baby inside. She looked around the clearing and saw that everyone else was still asleep, spread out around the fire. As the baby’s movements stilled she leant back into her husband’s side and she tried to fall back asleep. Before she closed her eyes, her gaze fell on her brother and a small smile graced her lips. He was lying on the opposite side of the embers of their fire with his arms wrapped around Rodney.

When she woke the following morning, the pair were awake, sitting with a respectable gap between them.


	22. NATALIE/JOHN/RODNEY [3x10]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 3x10 'THE RETURN: PART 1'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild sex scene in this one. thought i'd have a go at something a bit different.

It was late afternoon and the sun streamed through the window as Natalie laid her head back on the pillow. Ronon kissed her slowly, taking his time as his tongue darted into her mouth. She moaned softly as she gripped onto his biceps, pulling him closer until the tight muscles of his abdomen were pressed against her ever growing bump. One of his hands was planted on the bed beside her, his strong arm holding him up, keeping his weight off her as his other hand rested gently on her stomach. His lips left hers and trailed down her throat, as he thrusted gently. Nat pulled his face back up and recaptured his lips as they rocked together slowly.

“I love you,” Nat whispered against his lips.

“I love you, too,” Ronon replied.

They moved together slowly, taking their time and enjoying the feel of each other. It was so rare for them to have a whole day to themselves, with no pressing crisis to interrupt them. Natalie smiled warmly up at her husband, before ducking her head to kiss his neck.

_“Dr Sheppard. Ronon. Please report to the gate room. Dr Sheppard. Ronon. Report to the gate room.”_

Natalie sighed in frustration and dropped her head back onto the pillow. Ronon pecked her lips before pulling out and rolling off the bed. He picked up their discarded clothes from the floor and pulled on his pants. He spared her a look that made her sure he also shared her frustration at the interruption and helped her to her feet as she too pulled her clothes back on. _'Was one afternoon without a situation arising really too much to ask for?'_ She thought as they left their quarters hand in hand.

* * *

Natalie couldn’t quite believe that there were living, breathing Ancients standing before her. She thought in excitement about all she could learn from them, there were so many devices that she and Carson had yet to fully understand and the possibilities were intoxicating. Her enthusiasm was short lived when the commanding officer, Helia, announced that she was now in command of the city.

In Elizabeth’s office, Natalie remained silent while Woolsey informed them that the expedition was being evicted from the city. Internally she was panicking, but outwardly she was calm as Rodney and John fought against the decision. She knew that no amount of complaints or bargaining on their part would change the situation. In 48 hours, they would be dialling earth and leaving Pegasus, perhaps permanently. Without a word, Natalie abruptly left the room in search of Ronon.

She found him in the mess hall with Teyla. They both looked up when walked up to their table and one look at her expression told them the truth. Teyla excused herself and said she was going to speak with Elizabeth. Ronon also stood and Natalie stared at him forlornly in silence.

* * *

John looked up at the sound of a knocking on the door to his quarters.

“Come in!” He called out, smiling when the door opened to reveal his sister. “Hey Tally, you finished packing already?” She shuffled back and forth looking at her feet nervously and John stopped his own packing to step around the bed and stand in front of her. “What's wrong?”

“I'm not going back to earth,” she replied. John stared in shock.

“Because of Ronon?” He questioned. “Is he making you stay?”

“I'm not going to lie, he's a big reason. I can't ask him to come to earth John. You know he wouldn't do well there,” Natalie replied. “But it's not just Ronon, it's me too. There's nothing for me on earth John. The air force will send you god knows where and what friends I had, have moved on with their lives. I'd be miserable if I went back. Teyla has invited Ronon and I to live with the Athosians and we've accepted her offer.”

John didn't respond straight away and as he processed his sisters’ announcement the silence seemed to thicken in the air.

“So now I'm losing you again,” he sighed, feeling deflated.

“I don't want this anymore than you do,” Natalie whispered softly in reply. “We still have the gate bridge. I’m sure Stargate Command will let you reactivate it soon. This doesn’t have to be goodbye forever.”

“Yeah, maybe” John agreed, but neither Sheppard truly believed what they were saying. Once John stepped through the stargate back to earth the pair would be separated for years. Maybe even forever.

“John there's something I've been meaning to talk you about and I guess now’s the time,” Nat said, _before it's too late_ she thought. “You need to tell Rodney the truth.”

John looked startled for a moment before his mask of calm slid over his face.

“Tell Rodney what?” John asked forcing a heavy sigh from his sister.

“You know what John. You care about him. As more than a friend. And he cares about you too. You're both just too scared to admit it. To each other or to yourselves.”

John remained silent, unable to meet her gauze but she waited patiently.

“How did you know?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper and Natalie was surprised to hear fear in his voice. He had always seemed so strong and fearless to her that this side of her brother was a shock.

“I've known since you were a teenager John,” she replied softly, trying to show him that she loved him and accepted him without saying it. She pushed all those emotions into her tone. “I always idolized you and I noticed things everyone else missed. I saw the way you looked at some of your friends and I just knew. Mum and dad wouldn't have understood so I knew you didn't want to talk about it and I'm sure the military didn't help you, but you should know there’s nothing wrong with you.”

John looked up at her then, hope in his eyes.

“Do you really think he feels the same way?” He asked.

“I do. I really do. I just think he needs you to make the first move.”

The pair were silent for a long time before John replied.

“It's not fair,” he stated. “It's not fair that we're finally this close and I have to leave you behind.”

“I know,” Nat agreed. “But at least we got these 3 and a half years. I wouldn't trade that for anything.”

“Neither would I,” John replied. “I love you Tally.”

“I love you too John.”

John pulled her towards him and held her in a tight hug as she began to cry.

“You're my best friend,” she sobbed. “I'm going to miss you so much. I wish you could be around when this little peanut is born because I know you'd be the best uncle a kid could ever ask for.”

* * *

Rodney stared in dawning realisation as John hugged Natalie to him in the gate room. She wasn’t coming with them and his heart broke for his friend. He knew how much having his sister back in his life had meant to John and he couldn’t imagine how painful this separation would be.

After stepping through the gate, he followed John and pulled him into an empty conference room.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked, watching as the impassive mask fell away from John’s face.

“I finally had a family again,” John whispered, letting Rodney see beyond his usual façade. “I don’t want to be alone again.”

“Oh, John,” Rodney replied, placing a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You’re not alone. You still have a family. Carson, Elizabeth… Me. We’re your family.”

“Thanks Rodney,” John replied with a weak smile. Rodney watched as he took a deep breath and let the mask fall back over his face, concealing his emotions. All Rodney wanted was to reach out and hug him, but he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk his friendship with John by letting him know about the deeper feelings Rodney had for him.


	23. RONON/TEYLA/NATALIE [3x10]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter rewrites the end of 3x10 'THE RETURN: PART 1'

Ronon was worried about Natalie. It had been just over a month since they had left Atlantis and set up New Athos. They had both thrown themselves into building the new settlement as a distraction, but he still caught a look in her eyes occasionally. A deep sense of grief at the loss of her brother and their home.

He had woken an hour ago to her shaking in his arms in the darkness. She had been quiet but he had felt the shuddering of her stifled sobs. As he pulled her closer to him, she had finally lost what little control she’d been holding on to, turning to bury her face in his chest as the deep, painful sobs ripped through her. He’d had no idea what to do but had held her close, trying to sooth her with whispered words until the tears finally stopped and she fell into a restless sleep. He stayed awake, holding her and watching over her. He knew he had to do something, say something, but he wasn’t good at this.

When Natalie woke again in the morning, she didn’t acknowledge the events of the night and went about getting ready for the day in their small hut. Once she was dressed, she kissed him as she did every morning and made her way outside. He knew she was heading towards the hut they had set up as the hospital and as he watched her walk away, he thought about how he could help her.

* * *

Teyla smiled warmly as she entered the new hospital and saw Natalie sitting at her small desk. She felt honoured that Ronon had trusted her to speak with Natalie and she would take her new role very seriously.

“Teyla,” Nat greeted and Teyla noticed the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Natalie,” she replied, “I was hoping you would join me for a walk.”

Natalie agreed, and the two women made their way out of the hut and walked out into the surrounding forest.  

“Ronon asked you to talk to me, didn’t he?” Natalie asked her after they had been walking in silence for 10 minutes.

“Yes,” Teyla replied honestly. “He is worried about you.”

“I hate making him worry,” Natalie sighed, sitting down on a fallen tree. “I just feel so broken.”

“You are not broken, Natalie,” Teyla promised her friend.

“I’ve always admired you,” Nat told her and Teyla reached out to place a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You just have such a strength about you that I’ve always been in awe of.”

“You are strong as well,” Teyla replied earnestly.

“No, I’m too emotional,” Nat shook her head.

“There is nothing wrong with being emotional, Natalie. Letting your emotions show does not make you weak. You are strong because you continue despite your pain or fear or grief. I have seen you achieve many great things. Would a weak woman have flown a puddle jumper into a hive ship with a nuclear device on board? You are strong in your own way.”

 “I just feel like I’m falling apart,” Natalie admitted. “I miss John and Atlantis.”

“As do I,” Teyla replied sombrely. “But we will move on and live our lives. It will not be this painful forever.”

“Thanks, Teyla.”

“You are most welcome. Shall we go find Ronon and have lunch together?”

* * *

More weeks passed and while Natalie continued to miss her brother, she tried to focus on building her new life and preparing for the birth of her child. It was late in the afternoon when Ladon Radim arrived to speak with Teyla, Ronon and herself and she sat silently, listening sceptically as he attempted to convince them to join the Genii.

“We’re not interested,” Ronon told him.  
  
“Well, that’s too bad,” Ladon replied, “although not entirely surprising. Give it some time, Ronon. I wonder how much joy you’ll find as a tava bean farmer.”

“I’m sorry,” Natalie interjected, “Are we just supposed to ignore the multiple times you’ve tried to kill us?”

“I had hoped we could move past that,” Ladon admitted, smiling at Natalie.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Nat scoffed.

After Ladon and the Genii left, the three of them walked outside the tent, talking over Ladon’s proposal and Teyla tried to argue against the couple.

“With the expedition returned to earth, and the Ancestors seemingly unwilling to re-enter the fight, the Genii are this galaxy’s best hope against the wraith,” she explained.

“I still don’t like it,” Ronon grunted, and Nat nodded in agreement.

All three of them snapped their heads toward the tree line at the sound of someone approaching. Fearing the Genii had returned to take them by force, Ronon pushed Natalie behind him and drew his gun. He lowered it in shock when John, Rodney, Elizabeth and Carson emerged from the forest and stepped into the firelight.

“John?” Natalie called, pushing past Ronon and throwing herself into her brother’s arms.

“Something’s wrong,” Ronon said, and his suspicions was confirmed by the looks that passed across their faces.

* * *

Natalie stood beside the Jumper as they all prepared to leave for Atlantis. Ronon held her tightly against him, kissing her gently. She could feel in his touch everything they couldn’t say.

“Go get our home back,” she told him as she pushed him towards the jumper.

“We’ll radio you when it’s all over,” John promised her as he boarded the ship.

She stood, hugging her arms tightly around herself as the rear hatch closed and the gate activated with the comforting and familiar _kawoosh_. The jumper disappeared through the event horizon and as the gate deactivated, Natalie took a deep breath before turning and walking back to her and Ronon’s empty hut.


	24. NATALIE/RONON/NATALIE [3x12]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 3x12 'ECHOES'

Natalie was just finishing up with a patient when she heard Dr Weirs raised voice on the other side of the infirmary.

“Hey, Hey! What’s this?” she called, and Natalie looked up to see Rodney and John attempting to leave the infirmary. She shook her head at the pair and made her way over to them.  She smiled as she listened to them yell their plan to check out an Ancient bio-lab and volunteered to accompany them and keep an eye on their conditions.

She had been experiencing the headaches for the last few hours, however due to her pregnancy she was unable to take the pain killers that had been prescribed to the other suffers. As such she was holding a hand to her temple in discomfort when it happened. Rodney was pouring over the wealth of information in the biolab and John was casually leaning against a nearby console. He looked up abruptly as she cried out, grabbing her stomach as her knees buckled. As she fell, John rushed forward, catching her before she hit the floor.

“Tally?” John yelled in fear. “What’s happening?”

“The… The baby,” Nat gasped. “You need… you need to get me to Carson.”

John lifted her in his arms and rushed from the room. She heard him talking to Carson over the radio as he rushed towards the nearest transporter. The edges of her vision darkened and she passed out.

When she came to, she was lying on a gurney in the infirmary. John was standing nearby with Carson as the Ancient scanner passed over her body.

“Ronon?” Natalie mumbled as she woke.

“He’s on his way,” John told her, stepping up to the side of her bed and smoothing his hand over her hair. She squeezed her eyes closed against the immense pressure in her head and whimpered.

“The baby?” Natalie asked in panic. “Is the baby ok?”

John turned to look at Carson in concern, but Natalie fell into unconsciousness again before either could explain.

* * *

Ronon was sitting in the infirmary between two beds. In one lay Teyla, in the other was Natalie. Both women were unconscious. He looked up when John approached.

“How are they doing?” John asked.

“Out of time,” Ronon replied gruffly, concerned for the lives of his best friend, wife and child. After losing Sateda, he knew that he would not survive losing these two women.

“I guess we all are,” John sighed in reply, patting Ronon on the shoulder before turning to leave.

“Sheppard?” Ronon asked, “You got a plan?”

“Sure,” John replied, but Ronon was not convinced and he turned his attention back to the unconscious women as John left the infirmary.

* * *

As Nat began to wake again, she found the infirmary around her was quiet. The lights were dimmed low and she realised it must have been late in the night. Ronon was asleep in a chair next to her, his head resting on his arms on the edge of the bed. He looked peaceful, so she stayed quiet, not wanting to wake him. The pressure in her head was gone, and she realised that whatever had happened, the whales must have left. The infirmary was mostly empty now, meaning that she was one of the last to recover from the incident. There was an ultrasound machine next to the bed, and Natalie wondered when Carson had got it brought from earth. During the 6 months of her pregnancy they had been using the Ancient scanner to monitor the baby’s progress, and while it provided them with far more information than an ultrasound she had missed the opportunity to see her child growing inside her. Her heart fluttered at the thought of getting see her daughter and she was smiling to herself when Carson exited his office and came over to check on her. When he noticed she was awake, he smiled in relief.

“How you are feeling love?” Carson asked softly.

“Headaches are gone,” Nat replied, her voice hoarse and croaky, “Is the baby ok?”

“Aye,” Carson smiled, “I’m not picking up any lasting effects for the little one.”

Nat let out a deep sigh of relief that turned to a sob. Ronon woke as she began to cry, all the fear bubbling out of her and turning to gratefulness as it reached the surface.

“Nat?” Ronon asked as he stood up and leant over her. “Nat, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” Nat gasped. “Nothing’s wrong. Just… just relieved.”

Ronon wrapped his arms around her and lifted her effortlessly until she was sitting up, cradled against him. She shifted over on the bed and pulled him down to join her. She laid her back against his chest and he held her closely to make them both fit on the small hospital bed. She didn’t know when Carson had left, but when she looked up a soft light was spilling from his office.

“I love you,” she whispered as she fell asleep to the feel of her husband’s strong, protective arms around her and their child.


	25. JOHN/RODNEY/JOHN/NATALIE [3x14]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 3x14 'TAO OF RODNEY'
> 
> Finally I can give you the McShep side plot. Enjoy

“John?”

John turned to the sound of his sister calling his name and followed her a she led him towards her office at the back of the infirmary.

“How are you doing?” Natalie asked gently once she’d closed the door behind them.

“I’m fine,” he replied.

“Bullshit,” she responded, “You just found out that Rodney might die if we can’t fix this. There’s no way you’re fine.”

“Ok, I’m not fine,” John admitted stubbornly. “I’m worried.”

“You need to tell him the truth. He deserves to know how you feel about him.”

* * *

John was thinking about his sister’s words later that day as Rodney lay on the floor of his quarters. Elizabeth believed he could help Rodney meditate into a state of ascension, but John knew he was way out of his depth. As he sat on his bed, looking down at Rodney with his eyes closed, he couldn’t help hearing Nat’s voice in his head. “You need to tell him the truth. He deserves to know…”

“I deserve to know what?” Rodney asked from the floor, his eyes snapping open to stare up at John.

“I thought you agreed not to read my mind!” John accused, fear coursing through him.

“I didn’t mean to,” Rodney wined, “I was trying to relax and it just happened.”

“Well, focus McKay!” John was truly freaking out. ‘Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t…

“You have to tell me now,” Rodney continued to wine, sitting up to face John. “You have to tell me… OMG!” He’s eyes widened in shock. “You’re in love with me.”

“What?” John choked.

“You are. You have been for some time, but you were afraid to tell me,” Rodney rambled, and John’s pulse raced in fear. _‘What have I done?’_ he thought in horror as McKay continued. “You thought I’d be disgusted. That I’d push you away and you’d lose me as a friend.”

“McKay,” John said, interrupting Rodney. The two men stared at each other, but John couldn’t read the expression on Rodney’s face.

“I feel the same,” Rodney said in a rush as he threw himself at John. John was caught off guard and unprepared, so he fell backwards on the bed with Rodney on top of him.  His mind was running wild as Rodney pressed their lips together and it took him a moment to catch up, returning the kiss.

Then just as suddenly as it had started, Rodney pulled away.

“I have to go,” Rodney announced, and then he was gone.

John remained laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to work what had just happened. This was all Natalie’s fault.

* * *

Rodney was back in his lab, throwing himself into his work, to escape what had just happened with John. Even with his ever-evolving brain, he still had no way of processing what had just happened. He’d made such a huge mistake. John didn’t love him, Rodney only thought he’d been reading John’s mind, but more likely Rodney’s brain had just been telling him what he wanted to hear. How could he have been so stupid. He’d kissed John. He’d kissed very serious, military, womanizing Colonel John Sheppard. Oh God he was an idiot.

Elizabeth interrupted his little pity party when she entered the room and tried to convince him not to give up on ascension.

“I’m talking about shedding yourself of guilt, of anger, of ill-feeling, of anything that makes you feel shame...” Elizabeth told him.

 _‘You mean like accidentally kissing your very straight best friend?’_ Rodney thought.

After she left, he decided he needed to say goodbye to his friends, and maybe he’d do something nice for them.

After having tea with Teyla, healing Ronon’s scars, and giving Elizabeth the book he’d written for her he made his way to the infirmary. He spoke with Carson first, before making his way to Natalie’s office and knocking on the door.

“Mind if I come in?” he asked, entering once she nodded and shutting the door behind him.

Sitting across the desk from her he stammered, trying to work out what he needed to say.

“I wanted… what I mean to say is… Thank you Natalie,” he finally got out. “You have been a good friend these past few years and I have greatly enjoyed our time together.”

“Rodney,” she tried to interrupt, and he paused, realising just how much she reminded him of John in the way that she could put so much into the way she said his name.

“No, no. I need to finish,” he continued. “I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you and to say goodbye. I was going to wait until your baby was born, but I suppose now will have to do. I brought you a stroller and had it delivered here on the Daedalus. It’s top of the line, designed for running, so you and Ronon can continue your morning jogs around the city…”

“Thank you, Rodney,” Natalie said warmly, cutting off his rambling and stepping around the desk, to pull him from his seat into hug. “I love you too.”

Rodney made a face at having another Sheppard tell him they loved him today.

“What?” Nat asked in response to his reaction.

“It’s nothing. It’s just that someone else told me they loved me today, and I guess I really must be dying.”

Despite Rodney’s attempt to make a joke, Natalie’s eyes widened as she looked at him and without meaning to he heard a thought cross her mind. _‘John finally told him!’_

“You knew?” he gasped. “John told you?”

“He didn’t really tell me so much as I noticed it on my own,” Natalie replied. “I’ve known he was bisexual since I was a kid, and just watching the two of you over the years I started to notice little things here and there. I tried to get him to tell you when we all left Atlantis, but he was too scared he would lose your friendship. I guess the idea of losing you forever was enough for him to risk it.”

“I have to go talk to him,” Rodney mumbled and left the room.

* * *

“John?”

“It’s open,” John called out and the doors to his quarters opened to reveal Rodney standing nervously behind them.

“I’ve been trying to do something nice for everyone, to say goodbye,” Rodney began as he stepped into the room. “But I left you till last because…”

“I’m sorry,” John interrupted, “about earlier, I never meant for that to happen.”

“But, that’s the thing,” Rodney replied. “I’m so glad it did. I don’t know how much time I have but I wanted you to know that I’ve had feelings for you for a very long time, but I never thought you would… I always assumed that we were just friends, nothing more. Did you really mean it?”

John stared at Rodney through his rambling confession. Instead of replying, he stepped forward until only inches separated them, and slowly reached his arm out to place it on Rodney’s bicep. Upon contact, Rodney moved toward him, closing the distance and once again bringing their lips together. The kiss was slow and shy, neither of them wanting to spook the other as their tongues slowly explored each other.  John couldn’t believe that this was real, Rodney was finally in his arms and he finally knew the truth. He’d been so afraid to ruin everything despite Nat’s insistence that Rodney felt the same. Suddenly Rodney pulled back from the kiss and doubled over in pain, grasping the sides of his head.

“Rodney!” John yelled as McKay collapsed in his arms. “Medical team to my quarters.”

* * *

John felt his heart break as Rodney grasped Natalie tightly before falling back on to the bed. The heartrate monitors flatlined, signalling the end of Rodney McKay.

“He’s not breathing. Quick, bag him. We need to get him on a ventilator,” Natalie shouted.

“Natalie, he gave us strict instructions,” Carson warned her

“You don’t understand,” Nat replied, “He just told me how to save him.”

John stared in shock at Nat’s words. Could she really save him?

* * *

Natalie was sitting on her bed, reading a book when John entered her quarters.

“Hey,” she greeted, putting away her book as John laid down next to her on the bed. He stared straight up at the ceiling and she scooted down say that her head was laying on the pillow next to him. “Did you talk to Rodney?” she asked him softly.

“Yeah,” John sighed, and Nat waited patiently for him to continue. “He said he loves me too.”

“Told you so,” Nat smirked.

“Yeah, you did. Guess I should have listened to you,” John replied.

“So, are you guys together now?” Nat asked happily.

“Not really. I mean I know that I can’t be court martialled anymore now that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is over, but there’s still a lot of homophobia in the military. Neither of us are ready to have to deal with that yet.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Nat questioned, turning her head to see the crease in her brother’s brow.

“We’re just going to take things slow,” John explained. “We’ll tell Elizabeth and Teyla and Ronon, but other than that we want to keep it quiet.”

“Well, let me be the first to say congratulations, big brother,” Nat smiled. “I’m really happy for you both.”


	26. NATALIE [3x17]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 3x17 'SUNDAY'

Nat grimaced as she stretched in her seat, and reached behind her to try and massage her back. She yawned as she turned her attention back to the computer in front of her.

“Slow day?” Carson asked as he entered the infirmary.

“Carson, what the hell are you doing here?” Natalie asked. “It’s supposed to be your day off.”

“Well, my fishing trip is officially a bust,” Carson explained, “So I figured I’d come in here and actually catch up on some paperwork for the first time in over a year.”

“What happened?” Nat asked as she continued to rub her lower back.

“Rodney blew me off to spend the day with John,” Carson explained.

“I thought John was spending the day with Teyla and Ronon” Nat replied.

“Apparently not,” Carson sighed. “Are you alright love?”

“This kid is killing me. She’s been kicking me all day, and my back is aching.”

“You should have radioed me,” Carson told her.

“Are you kidding?” Nat asked with a chuckle, “There’s no way I was going to get in the way of you and that fishing trip. It’s all you’ve been talking about for weeks.”

“Well I’m not going now, so off you go. I’ll cover your shift,” he offered.

“Are you sure?” Nat asked.

“Aye, there’s nothing happening here anyway. Off you go.”

Nat stood and gave Carson a quick hug, yelling her thanks over her shoulder as she left the infirmary in search of Ronon. Unsurprisingly, she found him in the gym.

“Hey there,” She greeted and he stepped back from the punching bag to give her a kiss.

“Any chance I can interest you in lunch?” she asked.

“Sounds great,” Ronon agreed and they made their way down the corridor towards the mess hall. “I thought you were working all day?”

“Carson covered my shift, since Rodney ditched him to hang out with John,” Nat explained. “Besides my back is absolutely killing me. This kid is so heavy.”

“Well maybe after lunch we could go back to our room and I could give you a massage,” Ronon offered, and Natalie smiled up at him.

“That sounds perfect.”

Before they reached the mess hall, they heard an explosion in a nearby corridor and felt the tower shake. Without a word, they took off in the direction of the blast.

As soon as they arrived at the scene, they both began helping the wounded. Nat was the first doctor on the scene, so she took on the task of triaging the injured. She found Teyla and was helping her onto a stretcher when Carson arrived.

“Carson,” Nat called out as she spotted him, “I’m taking Teyla to surgery, but Ronon is just down the hall, with the patients I’ve already triaged. It’s bad in there.”

“Aye, love,” Carson agreed as he took in the damaged hallway, “Go. I won’t be far behind you.”

On her way towards the infirmary, Nat passed John and Rodney.

“What happened?” John asked her.

“Some sort of explosion,” Nat replied, “At least three dead; maybe a dozen or so severely injured. Ronon and Carson are just around the corner and I’m sure they could use your help. I have to get to the OR.”

* * *

After the surgery, Nat took Teyla down to the recovery level and once she is set up in the ward, Natalie allowed herself to let the exhaustion of surgery overwhelm her. After a few minutes, she straightened back up and sought out her head nurse.

“Where am I needed,” she asked.

“We’re looking good,” the nurse replied. “We’ve stabilized the injured and Dr Beckett is just operating on the last one now.”

“Ok,” Nat sighed. “I’m going to go lie down. Call me if I’m needed.”

“Ronon?” she called out over the radio as she left the infirmary, “where are you?”

“McKay’s lab,” he replied. “Where are you?”

“Just left the OR. Teyla’s stable,” Nat informed him. “I’m coming to you.”

By the time Natalie arrived in McKay’s lab, the OR level had been shut down and Rodney was yelling at Carson over the radio. Ronon quickly updated her on the situation and she joined the small group waiting.

As the explosion rocked the tower, Natalie felt her breathing stop. She vaguely heard Rodney calling Carson’s name over the radio, but his voice sounded far away, muffled as though she was underwater. ‘Maybe I am underwater,’ she thought, it would explain why she couldn’t breathe. People moved around her, and John rushed from the room, no doubt heading towards the blast. She remained in her seat, unable to move, unable to speak as tears began to flow down her face.

* * *

Nat held Ronon’s hand tightly as Elizabeth gave the eulogy. It was beautiful and Nat fought back tears, she had already shed more than she thought possible in the last 24 hours. She let go of Ronon’s hand reluctantly as the gate activated and he moved forward to grasp hold of the casket.

She followed them through the event horizon, and blinked against the change of lighting in the SGC gate room. Once they arrived, they were beamed aboard the Daedalus and taken to Scotland. It was late evening when they arrived in Carson’s home town and the group checked themselves in to a small hotel for the night. The following day Natalie and Rodney would go to inform Carson’s mother of her son’s passing.


	27. JOHN/RONON

“Rodney?” John called softly, leaning his forehead against the hotel room door. “Can I come in?”

There was only silence on the other side of the door, and John closed his eyes. He knew that Rodney was hurting but he didn’t know what to do if Rodney wouldn’t let him in. After standing in the hallway with his head resting on the door for close to 10 minutes, John finally heard shuffling on the other side of the door, and lent back just in time for the door to swing open. Rodney’s eyes were red from crying and John stepped quickly inside the room, gathering him into his arms as the door swung shut. As Rodney began to cry into John’s chest, he guided them towards the bed, running his hand up and down Rodney’s back in an attempt to sooth him. After climbing into the bed, John pulled the covers up around them and held Rodney close to him as he continued to cry.

* * *

Ronon had spent the night much like John had, holding a crying doctor close.

When he woke in the morning Natalie was awake, staring out the window at the small Scottish village and the rolling green hills beyond.

“Hey,” he grumbled sleepily.

Natalie didn’t turn to look at him, but instead continued to stare out the window, her hands resting on her very large bump. “Hey,” she mumbled softly in reply.

Ronon climbed out of the bed, he sweats hanging low on his hips, and crossed the room to stand behind his wife. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his bare chest into her back, feeling her sag into his hold. “He always told me that Scotland was beautiful,” he said, staring out at the beautiful landscape. He felt Nat shake in his arms, and he turned her around until her face was pressed against his chest. He felt her tears fall against his skin and held her tightly. After a while, she pulled back from the hug, wiping her eyes.

“I need to get ready,” she explained. “Rodney and I need to go talk to his mother this morning.”

* * *

John sat in the lobby of the hotel with Ronon as they waited for Nat and Rodney to return from informing Beckett’s mother. They had both offered to go with them, but the pair had told them they needed to do this alone.

“How are you doing?” Ronon asked his best friend.

“Hanging in there,” John replied honestly. “I’m just trying to hold it together for them.”

Ronon nodded in understanding and they continued to wait. Has morning turned to afternoon, Ronon ordered them some food but John didn’t much feel like eating, and just pushed his food around the plate absently. The Doctors returned to the hotel in the middle of the afternoon, both looking exhausted and emotional. The four of them made their way upstairs and sat in Nat and Ronon’s room. For a while no one spoke.

“Why did he have to be a hero?” Rodney asked suddenly. “Why couldn’t he have just let the bomb squad do their job?”

“Because that’s who he was,” John replied softly. “He was a hero.”

* * *

They stayed for 4 days and finally left after the funeral. The Daedalus beamed them aboard and departed for the Pegasus Galaxy. They spent the 3 weeks aboard, sharing stories of Carson and trying to process what it would mean to return home without him. Atlantis would not be the same, that was something they could all agree upon.


	28. NATALIE/RONON/JOHN/RONON [3x20/4x01/4x02]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 3x20 'FIRST STRIKE', 4x01 'ADRIFT' & 4x02 'LIFELINE'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S TIME FOR A BABY EVERYONE

“Natalie, take a seat,” Elizabeth said as Nat entered her office. “What can I help you with?”

“I just wanted to stop by and let you know that everything is organised for my maternity leave,” Nat replied. “Dr Palmer is up to speed on everything and ready to step in as acting head of medicine as soon as I go into labour. I’ll be taking the 8 weeks off that we discussed and then I have found a young Athosian women, Neera, who has agreed to work as a Nanny for Ronon and I so that I can return to work.”

“Sounds like you have everything under control,” Elizabeth smiled.

“Yes,” Nat agreed, “Now I just have to wait out the last 5 weeks, for this little one to arrive. But I should let you get back to work.”

Natalie left Elizabeth’s office and made her way back to the infirmary, sitting down at her desk and beginning work on the mountain of paperwork in front of her.

* * *

Elizabeth had only just finished announcing that they would shortly be attempting fly Atlantis to escape the replicator beam, and Nat looked up from her preparations in the infirmary to see John walking towards her. 

“Natalie, I need you to go with the evacuees aboard the Apollo,” he begged.

“I can’t do that John,” Nat replied. “I’m the chief medical officer. My place is here.”

“Nothing I say is going to change your mind, is it?” he sighed.

“No, it won’t,” Nat replied. “So, spend your time more wisely. I’d suggest the chair room.”

* * *

Nat grabbed the table in front her to keep her balance as the tower shook.

“What the hell was that?” she asked, and her question was answered by McKay’s panicked voice yelling over the radio.

“ _I need a medical team to the Control Room, stat! Multiple injuries!”_

“Everyone with me!” Nat yelled out to the room of medical staff, and she grabbed an emergency response kit before rushing for the transporter as quickly as her heavily pregnant body would allow.

Upon reaching the control room, the medical team began to fan out, triaging the wounded. Natalie paused in the middle of the room, taking in the scene surrounding her, assessing the situation and determining where she was needed. She spotted Elizabeth unconscious on the floor and rushed to her.

John arrived as Elizabeth was being lifted onto a stretcher and Natalie was using her penlight to assess Elizabeth’s pupil reactions.

“What happened?” he asked as he stopped beside them.

“Apparently the beam grazed the tower and blew out the ...” she began before turning her attention to a nearby doctor. “Adams, that guy just has a cut. Tell him to put pressure on it and move on. There’s a lot of people worse off upstairs.”

“Elizabeth?” John asked in concern, “Is she going to be ok?”

“I don’t know yet,” Nat replied as she started to leave the room. “She took quite a fall and her pupils are sluggish. I’m going to have to get her under a scanner. I’ll know more in a bit.”

As she left behind the chaos in the control room, she focused her attention on Elizabeth, and began giving orders to the doctor with her, and those prepping the OR. They were going to have to move fast before her condition deteriorated further. She spared a brief moment to worry about Ronon and the others before they arrived in the OR and she began to defibrillate Elizabeth’s heart.

* * *

Natalie was in the middle of performing the decompressive craniectomy on Elizabeth when she stopped abruptly, looking across the room.

“Dr Palmer?” she called out, “I’m going to need you to take over from me.”

“Of course,” Palmer replied, “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah,” Nat replied, trying to remain calm. “My water just broke. I’m having this baby.”

* * *

Ronon was lying on the hospital gurney when a nurse approached him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked when he saw the look on her face.

“Dr Sheppard has just gone into labour,” she explained, and Ronon instantly launched himself off the bed, grimacing in pain.

“Where is she?” he demanded and followed the nurse towards a private room off the infirmary ward.

Natalie had changed out of her scrubs, into a hospital gown and was pacing the room, holding her lower back.

“Nat?” Ronon asked as he rushed to her side.

“Oh, thank god you’re here,” she gasped, placing her hands on his shoulders and leaning over in pain.

“It’s going to be ok,” he tried to assure her, rubbing a hand over her back soothingly.

“God, this hurts so bad,” she screamed. When the contraction passed, her eyes focused more clearly on him and she noticed the bandages on his chest and arm, as well as the IV pole trailing behind him. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” he shrugged, “I got hit with some glass when the beam hit the tower.”

“Well, this has to be the worst day ever,” Nat declared.

* * *

_“Nat, this John, if the infirmary can spare you for 15, 20 minutes I could really use your help in a jumper.”_

Nat took a deep breath before keying her radio, trying to make her voice sound calm and level.

“Sorry John,” she replied, “I’m a little busy here.”

“No worries,” John replied, “We’ll manage. You just keep saving lives and what not.”

“You’re not going to tell him?” Ronon asked her as she panted heavily.

“He’s got enough to worry about with being distracted by this,” Nat explained, clenching Ronon’s hand tightly again and screaming through another contraction. “He’d be no help here. I need him focused on getting us out of this mess.”

* * *

“What can I do?” Ronon asked after a few hours, feeling helpless.

“Go, check on John and Rodney,” Nat panted. “Find out what’s going on.”

“You sure,” Ronon replied, unwilling to leave her, but desperate to be doing something.

“Yes,” Nat nodded, “I’m still a long way off, go. I’ll radio you if anything changes.”

“Ok,” Ronon agreed. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He pulled Natalie to him and kissed her deeply before leaving.

When he found Sheppard and McKay they were in the observation room, overlooking the isolation chamber.

“What I don’t understand,” John yelled, “Is what you and Palmer were thinking? Where’s Nat in all of this? Elizabeth is her patient.”

“I don’t know where Nat is,” Rodney replied, “But Palmer is treating Elizabeth and we both realised that this was the only way to save her life.”

“What’s going on?” Ronon asked, and the two men explained the situation with much arguing.

After they finished explaining both McKay and Sheppard left, returning to the control room to come up with another plan and Ronon returned to Natalie.

* * *

“Where’s Ronon?” John asked when he entered the infirmary. A nurse pointed him towards one of the private rooms branching off the infirmary. As the door opened, John was already speaking, he didn’t have much time.

“Hey Chewie, you feeling up to a mission?” He asked as he entered the room, stopping abruptly when he saw Natalie pacing in a hospital gown. “What happened?”

Natalie looked up upon her brother’s arrival. “I went in to labour a while ago,” she explained.

“Why didn’t you call me?” John asked as he rushed over to her.

“Because you’ve got enough to worry about I’ll….” She began to explain, but doubled over as another contraction swept through her. She grabbed John’s arms for support as she screamed. Once it had passed, she continued to breathe heavily for a moment, before she stood up again. “You said you had a mission.”

“Yeah,” John replied, watching her with concern. “McKay’s hooked a Jumper up with a hyperdrive, so we’re going to try and get a ZPM from the replicators.”

“Ronon?” Nat said, and as she called his name, he walked over to her side. “Go with them.”

“No, I’m staying right here,” he argued.

“If we don’t find a power source, we are all going to die,” Nat replied. “You can help me and our daughter more by going with John. I will be ok.”

John looked away, attempting to give the couple some privacy as they kissed each other goodbye.

“Let’s go,” Ronon announced gruffly as he pulled away. John hugged Nat briefly before turning to follow Ronon from the room.

_\----_

As they arrived back on Atlantis Ronon took off running for the infirmary, while the rest of the team headed to the control room to locate a new planet for them to set down on.

“Nat?” Ronon called over the radio as he ran.

 _“Still here,”_ she replied, and Ronon could hear the strain and exhaustion in her voice. _“You have excellent timing. I’m pretty sure she’s almost here.”_

Ronon ran faster, reaching the small room in only a few minutes. When he arrived, there was another woman in the room. He remembered her vaguely, Dr Walker or Walter or something.

“Sorry we took so long,” he said as he stepped up to the bedside and grasped Natalie’s hand in his.

“You’re here now,” Nat replied with a weak smile.

“Ok Nat,” Dr Walker interrupted, “This is it. When I tell you, I need you to push.”

Natalie screamed loudly, and gripped Ronon’s hand like a vice as she pushed and then suddenly there was the sound of a baby crying. Natalie smiled through tears as the little girl was wrapped in a blanket and placed in her arms. Ronon felt tears of his own streak down his face as he wrapped his arms around his small family. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of his wife’s head, as they both gazed at their perfect little girl.

“Hello there little one,” Natalie cooed softly. “Welcome to the world Kaianna Dex-Sheppard.”


	29. NATALIE

“Kaianna,” Natalie cooed to the little girl in her arms, “I want you to meet your Uncle John and Uncle Rodney.”

She gentle passed her daughter to John, who looked down at her in awe.

“Hey there, little one,” he said softly.

“Uncle Rodney, huh?” McKay asked, leaning over John’s shoulder to look down at the baby in his arms.

“Kaianna?” John asked, looking back up at his sister and Ronon.

“It’s Satedan,” Nat explained, “But we were thinking Kai, for short.”

“Kai Sheppard,” John murmured, “Welcome to Atlantis kiddo.”

The small group were interrupted when Colonel Carter knock on the door to Nat and Ronon’s quarters.

“Come in,” Ronon called out.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sam apologized, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“That’s ok,” Rodney replied hastily, “What do you need?”

“Well I was hoping to speak with Dr Sheppard and I thought it might be easier to come to you then have you come to me,” Sam explained, walking over towards Nat.

“What can I help you with, Colonel?” Nat asked, as she sat up straighter on the bed.

“I have some bad news,” Sam replied, nervously. “I’ve just been speaking with IOA and they believe that given recent events, it would be best for someone else to take over as head of the medical department.”

“What?” John gasped, “That’s ridiculous!”

“I don’t understand,” Nat added, “Elizabeth and I discussed this after Carson… After I took over the department. We agreed that I would be able to take 8 weeks maternity leave and then I would return as chief medical officer.”

“Unfortunately, you made that agreement with Dr Weir, and with her no longer in charge the IOA believe that your focus will be split between the care of the expedition and your child. I’m sorry Natalie, but they’ve asked for you to return to earth when we dial earth for next week’s report.”

Kai began to fuss in John’s arms and he quickly handed the baby back to Natalie.

“They can’t fire me for having a baby,” Nat replied.

“They’re not technically firing you,” Sam countered, “They called it relocating. They are well within their rights to recall any Atlantis personnel to earth, and frankly I think this has less to do with your baby and more do with the fact that you chose to stay in Pegasus when the expedition returned to earth. You proved to the IOA that your allegiance is not to earth and that makes them uncomfortable.”

With that, Sam left the room, and the four remaining people stared at each other in shock.

“I can’t leave,” Natalie whispered.

“And you won’t,” Rodney replied stubbornly, before he stormed out of the room after Sam.

“I should go make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid,” John said, before he too left the room.

As the door slid shut behind her brother, Natalie looked towards her husband in shock.

“We’ll think of something,” he promised her.

* * *

As the week passed by, many unsuccessful attempts were made to try and save Natalie’s job, but before long they were all out of time. Nat found herself standing in the Gate Room with Ronon and Kai and all their belongings, waiting for the gate to activate. They had already said their goodbyes to John, Rodney and Teyla, and had asked them not to be here. Natalie knew that she wouldn’t be able to hold it together if they were there to watch her leave. Despite her request, she wasn’t surprised when John and Rodney stepped up beside them, but the bags in their hands were.

“What are you doing?” She asked them.

“Going with you,” John replied stubbornly. “If they want you gone, they we all go.”

As he spoke more members of the expedition stepped up behind them with their bags in hand. Doctors from both her own department and McKay’s, as well as many members of the expeditions military contingent and some of the key civilian administrators. Her eyes widened as the gate room filled with people and then the gate activated.

“Stargate Command, please stand by,” Sam announced, as she descended the main staircase and headed straight towards Nat and John. “What are you two doing?”

“Stargate Command, this is Colonel Sheppard,” John announced over the radio, staring straight at Sam as he spoke. “Myself and more than 100 base personnel are here, prepared to walk through the gate with Dr Sheppard if you do not reverse your decision and reinstate her as Chief Medical Officer of Atlantis.”

_“Colonel Sheppard, I am ordering you to stand down.”_

“Sorry sir,” John replied stubbornly, “but I can’t do that. My job as Military commander of this expedition is to ensure its continued success. Myself, Dr McKay and a large portion of this base, believe that the success of this expedition would be compromised by the removal of our most qualified medical officer. No replacement you can provide will have anywhere near the necessary off world experience with the wraith or any other alien life native to the Pegasus Galaxy. So, with all due respect sir, we are asking the IOA to reconsider.”

_“Standby Atlantis.”_

* * *

An hour later, Nat found herself in Colonel Carters office, with John, Rodney and Ronon.

“You’ve all made a pretty serious enemy in the IOA today,” Sam warned them all.

“We did what we had to do,” Rodney replied confidently,” and we’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

“Very well,” Sam sighed. “You’re dismissed. “

As they left the office, Natalie passed baby Kai to Ronon and then pulled her brother and Rodney into a hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered emotionally.


	30. NATALIE/JOHN [4x04]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 4x04 'DOPPELGANGER'

“Well, physically there’s nothing wrong with you,” Natalie informed Teyla as she removed the blood pressure cuff and walked towards the medicine cabinet on a nearby wall. “These should help with the trouble sleeping for the short term, but if the problem persists you definitely need to come back.”

“You have no idea how good the thought of a solid night’s sleep makes me feel,” Teyla replied, taking the pills from Natalie and preparing to leave the infirmary.

“Oh, I think I do,” Natalie chuckled, “I haven’t had one since Kai was born. Speaking of which, Ronon is on baby duty tonight and I’m now officially off the clock. Mind if I walk out with you?”

“Not at all,” Telya replied, and the two women chatted casually as they walked towards their quarters.

“Goodnight, Teyla,” Natalie said as they reached her quarters. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Goodnight, Dr Sheppard,” Telya replied. “Hopefully we will both be well rested come the morning.”

 Natalie quickly changed into her pyjamas and happily curled up in bed.

* * *

Natalie jolted awake to the sound of her radio.

“ _Dr Sheppard, we have a medical emergency. Dr Sheppard, please report immediately to the infirmary.”_

Ronon was lying on a gurney, blood gushing from a laceration on his neck. A nurse was desperately attempting to staunch the bleeding with gauze as Nat rushed forward.

“What happened,” she gasped.

“We were sparing with swords and I guess I got a lucky shot,” John informed her.

Natalie turned abruptly at the casual tone of her brother’s voice, and saw him standing nearby, casually leaning against another bed with Kai in his arms. She stared at him in shock before her attention was pulled back to Ronon as he coughed and spluttered, blood running from the corner of his mouth. She rushed to him, adding her hands to where the nurse was pressing gauze to the wound. Ronon was desperately trying to speak, but nothing escaped his mouth but more blood and a gurgling rasp.

“Shhh,” Natalie tried to sooth him through her growing panic, “Shhh. It’s okay, everything’s going to be ok.”

Suddenly Ronon stilled and his eyes dulled, unfocussed as they stared toward the ceiling. As if sensing that her father was gone, Natalie heard Kai begin to scream. She stepped back staring at the blood coating her hands as she turned towards her brother and her daughter.

“So, I guess I won the fight,” John shrugged with a smirk on his face and Natalie stared at him in horror.

 

She bolted upright in bed, gasping for breath back in her quarters. Shaking, she climbed out of bed and padded down the hallways to the infirmary. She opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a few sleeping pills for herself. After closing the cabinet, she turned to go back to bed and gasped in shock, jumping in alarm.

Ronon was standing directly in front of her with a large gash on his forehead, and John stood just behind him, holding a sleeping Kai against his shoulder.

“Sorry,” Ronon offered gruffly, “didn’t mean to scare you.”

“We were sparring, I got in a lucky shot,” John explained as Nat tried to catch her breathe.

“It’s the middle of the night!” Nat replied.

“Maybe for you,” Ronon grinned.

“Sit down and I’ll have a look,” she ordered, still shaken from the nightmare. “You’re going to need stitches,” she told him disapprovingly. She looked over to John and saw him attempting to hide the amusement on his face. She suppressed a shiver at how similar his reaction was to the John in her dream.

“Guess I taught him too much, huh?” Ronon asked, interrupting Nat’s thoughts.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she agreed absently.

“You know you don’t need to stick around,” Ronon told John, “I’m fine.”

“Ok,” John replied casually, “I guess I’ll go put this little nugget to bed. Goodnight.”

Nat stared after John, before looking back at the wound on Ronon’s forehead.

“Something wrong?” he asked her, watching her with concern.

“Hmmm?” she asked distractedly, before snapping out of her thoughts. “No, nothing. Can you lie down, so I can stitch this up?”

Ronon nodded and laid back on the bed, watching her as she pulled on gloves and threaded a needle.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as she turned back to him. “Thought you were going try to get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” Nat replied, beginning to stitch together the cut. “that was the plan. Had a bad dream, so I came down to get some sleeping pills.”

“You ok?” he asked in concern.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Nat replied, and they fell into a comfortable silence as Natalie worked. After a while Ronon fell asleep and she smirked at how only her husband could fall asleep while she threaded a needle through his forehead.

Nat jumped as Ronon woke with a start, grabbing her arm.

“Sorry,” she gasped, “did I hurt you?”

“Uh, no. No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…” Ronon stammered, as he looked around himself in confusion.

“You fell asleep,” Nat explained.

“I was having the strangest dream,” Ronon told her.

“You sure you're okay?” she asked, worry lacing her words.

“Yeah. Go ahead,” Ronon assured her.

“Ok. I'm almost done.”

* * *

“Don’t you think it’s strange that each of us has had incredibly vivid nightmares, with John somehow being an integral part?” Natalie asked, as they sat around a table in the mess hall the next morning.

 “And acting most unlike Colonel Sheppard,” Teyla added.

“Not me,” Rodney boasted before going off on a tangent about his latest nightmare.

“Ok, do you guys really think I’m crazy?” Nat interrupted. “I mean, I realise they’re just dreams, but first it was Teyla and then right after you came to see me, I had one.”

“And that's when mine stopped,” Teyla added, “Those pills you gave me knocked me out cold.”

“And then Ronon had one while I was working on him,” Nat finished.

“What's the big deal, Nat?” Ronon asked. “It's like you said, it's just a few bad dreams, right?”

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Nat asked as she looked down at John and Rodney, lying on the gurneys in the isolation room.

“We’re out of options,” John offered in reply.

“I’m pretty screwed up in here,” Rodney warned John.

“Rodney, it’ll be fine,” John promised, “I think I know you pretty well by now.”

“We’re ready if you are,” Natalie informed the men.

“John?” Rodney called, turning to face the other man. “Thanks.”

“I haven’t done anything yet,” John replied.

“For trying,” Rodney elaborated, “and don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

* * *

John shook his head. “Nothing’s happening yet.”

“He’s not dreaming yet,” Nat replied.

John closed his eyes and waited. Suddenly he found himself sitting in the back of a small boat in the middle of an ocean. Rain was pouring down as John saw Rodney sitting in front of him in the middle of the boat, rowing desperately as another version of John sat at the other end of the boat, yelling at Rodney over the pounding rain.

“You’re pathetic!” the fake-Sheppard yelled, “Did you really think I’d ever love you?”

“Don’t be afraid, Rodney,” John told him, “Don’t listen to him.”

“Who could ever love someone like you?” fake-Sheppard asked.

“Oh god,” Rodney sobbed, looking between the two of them as he rowed faster. “Oh god, I have to get back. I have to get back. That's my only chance.”

“You’re going to die out here!” fake-Sheppard yelled.

“Shut up!” John yelled, before turning his attention back to Rodney, his voice gentle as he spoke to the man he loved. “Don’t listen to him Rodney.”

“That's easy for you to say!” Rodney screamed in panic, “Why don't you help me row!”

John closed his eyes and focused, opening his eyes to find himself sitting beside Rodney.

“You know, this really isn't as strange as you led me to believe,” John told him.

“Oh yeah? What about that?” Rodney asked, pointing behind him to where a clown now sat, frowning at them both.

“I hate clowns,” John muttered darkly.

“You're alone, and you’re going to die out here alone,” fake-Sheppard told him.

“You’re not alone Rodney,” John promised. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here with you Rodney.”

“You can paddle all you want to,” fake-Sheppard continued, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“He's right. I'm going to die out here!” Rodney panicked.

“He wants you to be afraid. Don't give him what he wants! He can't really hurt you,” John yelled over the rain.

“That's where you're wrong,” fake-Sheppard smiled as a huge whale launched itself out of the water, swallowing the boat and its occupants whole.

 

John woke. sweating heavily as he sat up slowly.

“What happened?” he asked disorientated, as a monitor flatlined.

“Clear!” Natalie yelled, and John watched in horror as she failed to resuscitate Rodney.

“I’m so sorry, John,” she told him, her eyes wide with fear. “He’s gone.”

John stared in shock. Rodney was gone. He had failed the person who mattered most to him. He had lost the man he loved. He detached the leads connecting him to the machine and numbly left the room, wandering the halls in daze. Natalie caught up to him, pulling him by the shoulder to force him to stop and face her.

“You killed him,” she told him. “You were supposed to save him and you failed. You failed him and now he’s gone. How could you let this happen?” John’s head dropped in grief, accepting the truth of his sister’s words. “You fail everyone who ever gets close to you,” she spat, giving a voice to the dark thoughts in John’s mind. “You disgust me.”

John looked up to see the pure hatred in her eyes, but was distracted by the fake-Sheppard, leaning against the wall behind her smugly.

“You son of a bitch,” he yelled as he launched himself at the man who was truly responsible for taking Rodney away from him.

They fought, and it was clear that fake-Sheppard had the upper hand, John was trying his best, but the grief of losing Rodney was slowing his reflexes and dulling his will to continue. John flew off the balcony, feeling ribs crack as he hit the floor of the gate room. He grunted in pain as his doppelganger landed nearby.

“Get up!” fake-Sheppard ordered. “Come on, John. FIGHT!”

“No,” John gasped. “That’s what you want.”

“You know you want to fight me,” fake-Sheppard taunted. “You want revenge because you loved him, but you can’t get revenge, because it’s your fault. You’re the reason Rodney’s dead. He died because he fell in love with you and you were too broken and pathetic to protect him. He’d be alive if it wasn’t for you!”

“I’m not dead!” yelled a voice from across the room. John’s head snapped up at the sound. He’s heart soared as he saw Rodney, but his joy was cut short as he watched his doppelganger throw Rodney against a pillar.

“You can't win,” fake-Sheppard seethed in rage.

“Yes, we can,” Rodney gloated. “You're vulnerable to electric shock. That's why I'm still alive. You left before you could finish the job!”

An electrical shock coursed through fake-Sheppard and he released Rodney, backing away.  He yelled out in pain and John sat up in surprise.

“What the hell was that?” John asked as another shock coursed through the fake-Sheppard.

As the doppelganger fell to his knees, John surged towards him, fuelled by adrenaline, picking him up and throwing him through the wormhole. He stared at the rippling surface of the active gate, exhausted and broken.

“John?” Rodney asked tentatively from behind him, and John turned to find Rodney close enough to touch.

“You’re alive,” John sighed, pulling Rodney tightly to him and sagging in his arms in relief. “Thanks for coming back for me.”

“Of course I came back,” Rodney told him, holding him up as his legs gave way. “I love you.”

“I love you too Rodney,” John replied meaningfully before he passed out.

* * *

“Oh, thank god,” John heard Natalie sigh as both he and Rodney opened their eyes. “Welcome back.”

“Glad to be back,” he muttered, turning his head and locking eyes with Rodney. ‘We’re alive,’ John thought, ‘that’s all that matters,’ and Rodney smiled at him as if he could read John’s thoughts and agreed with them.


	31. RONON [4x15]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter and the next one occur during 4x15 'OUTCAST'

“Colonel?”

Ronon turned, standing in the doorway of Sheppard’s quarters, to see Colonel Carter approaching them.

“I was just coming to see you,” Sam continued when she reached them. “Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, sure,” John replied, and Ronon watched the exchange in silence, noting that Sam spared him a nervous glance before turning her attention back to John.

“I received a message from Stargate Command,” she explained. “I'm afraid I have some bad news.”

“OK,” John replied hesitantly.

“Your father suffered a heart attack last night,” she continued and Ronon watched as John stared back at her in silence. “I'm sorry, John, but he passed away.”

Carter excused herself and Ronon followed the still silent John into his quarters.

“You want to talk about it?” Ronon asked tentatively.

“Not really,” John replied. “I don’t really know what I’d say. I haven’t seen the man in 20 years, but he’s still my father.” He fell silent as he sat down heavily on the bed.

“I should go tell Nat,” Ronon offered.

“No,” John replied with a sigh, “It should be me. I just need a minute.”

Ronon joined John, sitting beside him on the bed in silence and after a while they both made their way to the infirmary to break the news to Natalie.

Ronon hung back in the doorway as John walked into her office, and leant against the doorframe, close enough to lend his support but still giving the siblings space. She smiled brightly at them when they entered but faltered when she saw John’s strained face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Take a seat, Nat,” John replied solemnly, which of course only succeeded in insuring she remained standing, shifting her weight between her feet in nervousness.

“What happened?” she asked again, her voice now laced with panic. “Is it Kai? Is she hurt?”

“Kai’s fine,” Ronon promised.

“It’s dad,” John explained. “He had a heart attack.”

He watched his wife’s face fall and John quickly stepped around her desk to wrap her in his arms.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” she whispered to her brother.

“Yeah,” John agreed softly. “He’s gone.”

“I never got to tell him I was sorry,” she continued, holding tightly to John as they hugged. “He died thinking I hated him.”

“We both did what we had to do,” John soothed, “he didn’t leave us any choice.”

“I know,” Natalie sighed. “Doesn’t make it any easier.”

“No, it doesn’t,” John agreed.

* * *

Nat had been quiet since John had broken the news, barely speaking that night or the following morning as they packed their things to gate back to earth. Now he was standing beside her in the gate room, waiting for John so that they could dial. Nat was busy fussing over Kai and making sure they had everything, clearly trying to distract herself from the reason for the trip. Kai was oblivious to her mother’s constant attention, asleep in her stroller, and they had managed to limit themselves to only 2 large duffle bags, which were currently lying on the floor at Ronon’s feet. After tucking a blanket around their sleeping daughter, Natalie finally stood up as John and McKay joined them.

“Thought you were going off-world?” Ronon asked the scientist as Chuck began the dialling sequence.

“Zalenka can handle it,” Rodney replied. “This is where I’m needed.”

Ronon nodded in understanding as the wormhole activated, stooping to pick up their bags before following Nat through the gate.

* * *

Ronon felt uncomfortable. Nat had purchased him a black button-down shirt and a pair of stiff black pants. Both John and McKay were wearing suits and ties and he was grateful that his wife had not forced one upon him too but he still didn’t like not being able to wear his own clothes. Last time he’d come to earth, John had made him wear jeans, but at least they had been comfortable. He conceded to himself that wearing whatever clothes Nat needed him to wear was the least he could do for her, so he tried not to let his discomfort show. For her part, Natalie was wearing a form-fitting black dress and her hair was pulled back in a severe ponytail. The combination of the uncharacteristic outfit, and the lack of sleep she had gotten the previous night made her seem older, and Ronon reached across their daughter, sleeping in the car seat between them, to take her hand in his. She returned the gentle squeeze and offered up a small, but pained smile.

“Here we go,” John muttered from the driver’s seat, as they pulled up to the large family estate.

“Oh my god!” Rodney exclaimed loudly from the passenger seat. “You two lived here?”

“I never thought I’d have to come back here,” Natalie sighed as John pulled the car to stop.

“You ready?” John asked, turning to look at her in the back seat. She nodded and all four adults began climbing out of the car.

 “John, go on ahead of us,” Nat said as John and Ronon rounded the car, and she leant back in to unbuckle the car seat. “We’ll be right behind you.”

As Rodney and John walked away, heading towards the house, Nat scooped Kai out of the car seat and turned to take in the people milling around the property.

“You ok?” Ronon asked, taking Kai from her and bouncing slightly as the little girl settled against his shoulder.

“No,” she admitted. “I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

“You’re strong,” Ronon replied, wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and pulling her close, “and we’re all here for you and John. You’re not alone.”

“I love you,” Nat told him, leaning back from the hug enough to look up into his eyes.

“I love you too,” he replied honestly, taking her hand in his as they walked over to where John and McKay were talking to a middle-aged guy in a suit. Ronon noted that he looked just like everyone else at this thing. It was going to be a long day.

“He’s a civilian contractor,” Ronon heard John tell the man as they joined them. “Head of the science division on the base we’re stationed at.” The guy reached out his hand to McKay and they shook.

“Nice to meet you,” the guy told McKay, at which point he must have noticed their arrival. “Tally?” he asked.

“Hi Dave,” Natalie greeted nervously, before stepping forward to hug the man. After a moment of shock, he returned the hug and then stared as Nat stepped back, standing comfortably beside John.

“So, I see you two found each other after you ran off,” he noted, “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Nat replied sarcastically, and Dave’s attention turned to Ronon when he placed a comforting hand on Natalie’s back. Ronon watched as Dave looked him up and down, clearly unsure what to make of him and his rough appearance before his eyes came to rest at the 8-month-old baby sleeping against his chest.

“Dave, this is my husband Ronon,” Nat introduced, “and our daughter Kai. Ronon this our brother, Dave.”

Ronon glanced first at Natalie and then at John, surprised that they had never mentioned this man, before taking his hand from Nat’s back to shake hands with the third Sheppard.

“Right,” Dave said, “I think the three of us should probably talk. I’ll come find you later.”

“Sure thing,” John agreed, and they all watched as Dave headed towards another group of new arrivals.

“How come you never mentioned you two had a brother?” Rodney asked as they walked towards the house.

“It’s complicated,” John offered, and Nat remained silent, caught up in her thoughts.

 

* * *

~to be continued~

* * *

 


	32. NATALIE [4x15]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter and the last one occur during 4x15 'OUTCAST'

Natalie stood near the pool and watched as John walked over to their father’s casket. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to go over there yet, but found herself caught talking with on old friend of her parents. She could see Rodney and Ronon, standing over by the fence that separated the house from the stables, both clearly uncomfortable at the high society event. After a while she watched John make his way over to them and excused herself from the conversation to join them. Ronon gave her a quick kiss as she stepped up beside him and passed Kai to her. She smiled down at the little girl in her arms, grateful to be able to escape the socialites for a brief moment with her family.

“I don’t know how many more boring anecdotes about Dad I can handle,” Nat complained.

“Yeah, I know,” John agreed. “You’d think the man was a saint the way they’re all talking about him.”

“I can’t believe you guys are 1-percenters,” Rodney exclaimed and John rolled his eyes before replying.

“We’re not Rodney,” he replied. “Our family is, but we both left remember?”

“Our trust funds disappeared the moment we walked out the door,” Natalie added, staring back at the house sadly. “I should have called,” she murmured, almost to herself. “Or written him a letter. Anything. Just to tell him I was ok and that I never wanted to hurt him.”

Ronon hugged her to him again, careful not to squish Kai between them as John spoke.

“Don’t put yourself through that, Tally,” he told her emotionally. “It won’t help. We can’t keep looking back and wondering what if.”

The mood was lightened at that point when Ronon’s dreads fell forward over his shoulders and Kai began to giggle as she grabbed at them. Her innocent laughter was infectious and soon her parents and her two uncles joined in on the laughter, grateful for a little piece of normalcy in an incredibly abnormal day.

“Ahhh,” John interrupted after a few minutes, “I mentioned I had an ex-wife, right?”

“Yes,” Rodney answered for all three of them. “Why?”

“Because here she comes,” he replied, turning to face a beautiful brunette approaching them.

“Nancy,” John greeted awkwardly.

“Hi John,” she said, pulling him into a hug. “I’m very sorry.”

“Ah, thanks,” John replied. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I met your dad at a business event just after the divorce,” she explained. “I hadn’t got around to changing my name back yet so he asked me where my family was from and when I told him Sheppard was actually my ex-husbands name, we put the pieces together.”

“Oh, ok,” John stammered. He was saved from an actual response when Nancy looked past him to the rest of the group and introduced herself. “Oh, yeah. Sorry. This is Dr. Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex and Natalie.” They each shook hands with Nancy as they were introduced.

“Natalie?” Nancy asked, “as in Natalie Sheppard?”

Nat nodded, flicking a glance at John to try and gage his reaction. He simply looked uncomfortable. Nancy also turned to John.

“I thought you said you had no contact with your sister?” she asked.

“I didn’t,” John explained. “Not until a few years ago.”

“Oh,” Nancy replied and the two spoke for a few moments before Nancy excused herself and left.

“She seems fun,” Rodney sniped, levelling a glare at John.

“I need a drink,” John replied, storming off towards the house, with Rodney a step behind.

“You should go make sure they don’t cause a scene,” Nat told Ronon. “I think I’m going to go see dad.”

“You sure you don’t want any company?” Ronon asked her.

“No,” Nat replied. “Thanks, but I think I need to do this on my own. Go, I’ll catch up with you when I’m done.”

As Ronon walked away, Natalie shifted Kai in her arms, and made her way over to the pool house where the casket was set up for viewing.

There were a few people in the room, so Nat waited at the doorway, until they left.

“Hi Dad,” she whispered, staring at the casket for long, painful minutes. It was silent, except for Kai’s constant babbling, and Natalie sighed heavily. There were so many things she desperately wanted to say to her father, but he couldn’t hear them. “I’m sorry,” she finally told him, before leaving in search of her family.

As she walked towards the main house, she spotted Ronon and Rodney leading a woman to the car, as John looked around. Once he saw her, he made a beeline through the crowd towards her.

Nat, we got to go,” John told her. “Somethings come up with work.”

She looked around her at the countless people within hearing distance and let John pull her around the side of the house before she spoke.

“What’s happening?” she asked, listening intently as he explained what little the mysterious woman had told him. “It sounds like there’s probably not much need for a doctor,” she replied when he finished. “I think I need to stay here and talk to Dave.”

“Ok,” John nodded, “We’ll call you if we need you.”

“Be safe,” she told him before watching him leave.

* * *

People started leaving a few hours after John, Rodney and Ronon had and Natalie watched as Dave played the role of the perfect host, saying goodbye to everyone and thanking them for coming. When almost everyone had left, she walked up to her brother nervously.

“Hi,” she said, shifting Kai to her other shoulder as she slept. “I was hoping maybe we could sit down and talk.”

“Yeah,” Dave sighed. “I’d like that. Let’s go inside.”

The house was just like she remembered, big, expensive and so clean you could never be sure if anyone actually lived there. Dave motioned for Nat to take a seat on the sofa as he sat down in the armchair opposite. She followed his lead and sat, laying Kai down on the sofa cushion next to her.

“She’s gorgeous,” Dave said quietly, and Natalie looked up to find him watching the sleeping child intently, a small smile curling the corners of his lips.

“Yeah, she’s amazing,” Nat agreed proudly. “She takes after her dad.”

“I’m just going to get right to the point, Tal,” Dave said abruptly. “I never expected you to actually show up today. You’ve been gone so long and I kept hoping you’d call or visit but you never did. After a few years I just accepted you weren’t ever coming back here.”

“Dad wouldn’t have let me back in the door, Dave, you know that,” Nat replied. “We both saw how angry he was after John left and when I told him I got accepted into a pre-med cause he lost it at me. I kind of understood why he wouldn’t let John fly, but I never understood why he wouldn’t let me be a doctor. Most parents would be so proud of that.”

“He was proud,” Dave told her. “He was so proud of you. He kept track of you all these years, you and John, and he used to brag about both of you to his friends. Two of his kids were off saving lives.”

“Really?” Nat asked, tears forming in her eyes. “When I left he told me not to come back. If he was proud of me, then why didn’t he ever reach out? Why did he leave me alone all those years?”

“He tried,” Dave admitted. “A few years ago, he had a minor heart attack. Nothing to serious but I guess it was a wakeup call because he decided to make amends with both of you. John was posted somewhere classified and we couldn’t get in contact and you had just vanished of the face of the earth.”

Natalie chuckled darkly at the truth of her brother’s statement. She really had disappeared off earth.

“We actually work on the same base,” Natalie admitted. “For about 4 years now. I had no idea he was there until I ran into him at lunch one day. I hadn’t seen him since he left here. Did Dad really try to find me?”

“Yes,” Dave promised, “he did Tally. He regretted what happened and he wanted his children to come home. I wanted you guys to come home too.”

The tears began to fall down Natalie’s cheeks as the sincerity of Dave’s words hit her.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed and Dave stood from his seat, pulling her up and into a hug.

“It’s ok,” he soothed. “We have a second chance now.”

They stood, holding each other for a long time until Kai started to stir and Natalie pulled away to scoop the little girl up in her arms.

“She really is incredible, Tal,” Dave said again as he gazed at his niece.

“Do you want to hold her?’ Natalie asked, passing the little girl over when Dave nodded enthusiastically. “Kai, meet your Uncle Dave,” she cooed.

Dave stared at the baby girl for a long time, with a smile stretched across his face.

“So, how’s your life?” he asked, “What have you been up to these last 15 years?”

“Well,” Nat began hesitantly, “obviously I went to medical school, and I did my residency Seattle. Then about 5 years ago I got recruited into a medical program on a government base, predominantly a science base, with a large military presence. I was warned before we shipped out that it was very isolated and I would have little to no contact with anyone outside of the base, but I didn’t have anyone to contact so I signed the confidentiality agreement and went. I was second in command of the medical department, which was a huge opportunity for me.”

“And that’s where you met up with John?” Dave interrupted.

“Yeah,” Nat continued. “I’d been on the base for a few days when he saw me in the mess hall at lunch. We were both so shocked to see each other, but it was good too. It took a few years but we’re in a really good place now. Anyway, after about a year, I met Ronon and we got married and I got promoted to Chief Medical Officer.”

Natalie paused in her story, swallowing hard against the memory of Carson’s death.

“Are you ok?” Dave asked softly.

“Just bad memories,” Nat explained. “I was promoted after Carson, the previous chief, died. He was a good friend.”

“I’m sorry,” Dave told her.

“Thanks. Not long after we lost Carson, Kai was born and now here we are,” Nat finished in a rush.

“You’re happy?”

“Yeah, Dave I am. I really am,” Nat smiled, taking Kai back into her arms as she began to fuss. “How about you?”

“Not much to tell really,” Dave shrugged. “I was already working for Dad when you left and that’s what I’ve been doing since. I am ever going to see you or John again after you leave today?”

“Do you want to?” Nat asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” he replied. “You’re the only family I have. I miss you.”

“I missed you too Dave.”

Natalie stayed, talking and laughing with her brother for hours until she finally excused herself, calling John who had the Daedalus beam her on board.


	33. NATALIE/RONON [4x19]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 4x19 'THE KINDRED PART 2'

Natalie took a deep breath to steady herself before she stepped into the observation room overlooking the isolation room. Ronon, Rodney and John all turned to look at her expectantly when she entered.

“I’ve completed my preliminary exam,” she announced.

“And?” Rodney prompted.

“Every test we've run confirms it,” Nat continued. “That man down there is Carson.”

“How?” John asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Nat admitted. “I have more tests to run, but… In the meantime, someone needs to talk to him. He has no idea.”

“I’ll do it,” Rodney sighed, leaving the room.

“I need to get back to the infirmary and run the rest of the tests,” Nat added before she too left the room.

* * *

“John?” Natalie yelled, jogging down the hallway to catch up with her brother. “Ronon just told me you’re going on a mission. I’d like to join you, so I can keep an eye on Carson.”

“What about Kai?” John asked, as he started walking again, heading for the locker room, just off the gate room.

“She’s with Neera,” Nat explained as she fell into step with him. “I’m ready to go.”

“Alright,” John agreed, as they entered the room to find the rest of the gate team preparing for the mission. “Suit up.”

Natalie quickly changed out of her yellow panelled medical uniform and into the solid black BDU’s of the off-world team. Ronon approached her, handing her a p-90 and tightening the straps on her tactical vest, as she strapped her thigh holster into place. Once she was ready the couple made their way to the gate room to join Rodney. Once Carson and John joined them, the gate was dialled and they stepped through the event horizon, guns raised.

It was night when they arrived, and they made their way to a nearby village and headed straight for the tavern. As John approached the barman, the rest of the team looked around. All of a sudden Ronon’s voice boomed through the room.

“GUN!” he yelled, pulling both John and Nat with him as he launched himself over the bar. Natalie lost track of Rodney and Carson as bullets flew past her. The three of them returned fire, while trying to remain behind the cover of the thick wooden counter. They heard their attackers weapon click dry and Ronon fired a stunner shot at the man. Natalie watched as he tumbled over the balustrade, landing heavily on a table below. She rushed toward him, as did Carson and they quickly began work.

“You ok?” Nat heard John ask Rodney.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Rodney replied. “Is he dead?” he asked the two doctors.

“No, but we need to get him back to Atlantis as soon as possible,” Carson ordered. They set about wrapping his head wound and moving him to stretcher. As Ronon and John prepared to lift the stretcher, Natalie gasped in recognition.

“What is it?” Carson asked.

“I know this man. His name's Nabel,” she explained. “When Teyla and I went to New Athos, he was there. He tried to kill us!”

“This is the Genii guy?” Ronon asked, stepping towards the injured man in anger.

“Easy Chewie,” John said, placing a hand on the Satedan’s chest to stop him. “We need to try and keep him alive if we’re going to get any information out of him. Let’s get back to Atlantis and we can deal with this there.”

The team nodded in agreement and left the tavern, heading for the nearby gate. Once they reached Atlantis John began explaining the situation to Sam, as Nat and Carson rushed to the OR to begin surgery on Nabel.

* * *

“Hey Doc,” Ronon greeted Carson when he entered the infirmary later in the night.

“Hello Ronon,” Carson replied with a small smile. “And this must be little Kaianna I’ve heard so much about,” he added, looking to the little girl asleep in Ronon’s arms.

“Yeah,” Ronon replied absently as he turned to where Natalie was asleep at her desk, her head resting on her arms. “She been asleep long?”

“No,” Carson sighed, “she fell asleep only about 20 or so minutes ago.”

“Nat?” Ronon asked, shaking her shoulder gently, smiling as she grumbled.

“Five more minutes.”

“Nat, wake up,” he continued. “You need to go to bed,” he told her when she finally sat up.

“What?’ she asked, blinking against the bright lights. “No, I’m good. We’ve got too much work to do.”

“Go get some rest Natalie,” Carson added. “You’ll be more use in the morning after you’re rested.”

Natalie looked like she was going to refuse before she yawned.

“Ok,” she agreed reluctantly and allowed Ronon to lead her back to their quarters. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

Ronon watched over his girls as they slept, unable to sleep himself as his mind tried to sort through the events of the last few days. Finding Beckett, losing Teyla. It was all too much and it was hours later that he finally fell into restless sleep, waking in the early hours of the morning to feed Kai when she began to fuss.

* * *

_‘It was John’s fault that Nat was on this mission’_ Ronon thought as bullets flew around them. John had convinced everyone that they needed Beckett to guide them through the facility and with Beckett’s condition rapidly deteriorating, Natalie had refused to let him out of her sight.

That was what Ronon was thinking as he returned fire before ducking back into cover. He looked to his right to see John also firing on the enemy, to his left he saw McKay and Nat taking cover. He watched in horror as Nat leant out from around the corner to let of a burst of gunfire, before abruptly being thrown backwards off her feet when a round of shots ripped through her. Unable to reach her, he was only able to stare as McKay pulled her back to safety. They needed the upper hand in this fight if they were going to have any hope of finding Teyla or getting Natalie to safety. Ronon turned back to John to see him also staring at the wounded doctor. He quickly snapped back to the task at hand as more bullets whizzed past his head.

“Take a look,” John yelled to him over the gunfire. “East wall. Those things look like gas containers?”

“Yeah,” Ronon grunted. “Worth a shot.”

They waited for their moment and then both stood up, firing at the canisters until they exploded, quickly taking out the remaining gunmen. Ronon rushed to Nat’s side as John rushed over to McKay. She was leaning back against the wall, attempting to stem the bleeding from her abdomen with a large pad of gauze. Ronon quickly helped her tie another pad to the bullet wound in her shoulder, before stooping to pick her up.

“Come on,” he grunted, “We’re getting you out of here.”

“No,” she replied sternly before he was able to lift her. “I’ll be fine for a little longer. You need to go after Teyla.” John and McKay were already to preparing to chase after Beckett, who was presumably heading for Teyla, but Ronon hesitated for a moment. “GO!” Nat shouted firmly. “We didn’t come all this way not to bring her home.”

“We’ll be right back,” Ronon promised before the three men took off running, guns at the ready.

They hadn’t run very far before they found Beckett on the ground, and then heard the rumbling of a wraith cruiser preparing to take off. Ronon pulled the doctor to his feet and they raced toward the sound, arriving in time to see it take off. The four men watched in combined horror and disappointment as the ship disappeared from view, taking Michael and Teyla with it.

“We’ve got to go back for Nat,” Ronon declared and they made their way back through the facility to where they had left their fallen team mate. Nat winced in pain as Ronon lifted her off the floor, her face pale from the blood loss and the shock. She leant her head against his shoulder weakly and he followed John as they headed back to the gate where they found the Athosians waiting for them. McKay quickly dialled the gate and Ronon was the first one through the wormhole with John hot on his heels. He didn’t pause as they emerged in the gate room but took off as quickly as he could towards the infirmary.

Nat’s second in command, Palmer, looked up at them in shock when he entered the infirmary, laying Nat on the nearest gurney.

“What happened?” Palmer asked as he pulled on a pair of gloves and rushed to them.

“P-90 fire,” Ronon explained. “She took a few shots to the stomach and shoulder. Lost a lot of blood and she’s barely conscious.”

“Dr Sheppard?” Palmer asked, leaning over his boss. “Can you hear me Natalie?”

Natalie nodded weakly, her eyes struggling to focus on the man’s face.

“Ok, we’re going to get you in to surgery,” he told her calmly. “You’re going to be just fine.”

Ronon watched as they wheeled her away and then the infirmary was empty and he sagged to the floor. He noted absently that his hands and clothes were covered in blood, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. John joined him shortly after, lowering himself to the floor to sit beside him against the wall.

“They take her into surgery?” he asked, and Ronon could only manage to nod numbly, still staring at the blood staining his hands. “Come on,” John continued after a while, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Ronon allowed John to pull him to his feet and he trudged back to his quarters. Once the door closed behind them, John pushed him towards the bathroom, ordering him to shower.

With Natalie unable to continue working on a cure for Beckett it was decided that he needed to be placed in stasis and it was done quickly, before Nat was even out of surgery. After seeing the doctor into the pod, Ronon returned to the infirmary to wait. Eventually, Palmer came to find him.

“She’s going to be fine,” he announced. “She was lucky and there wasn’t too much serious damage done to her organs. We managed to get all the internal bleeding under control and I’ve got her set up in a private room to recover.”

Ronon let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and followed Palmer to his wife’s bedside.

“She’s still heavily sedated,” Palmer explained, “but she should wake up in about an hour or so.”

“Thanks doc,” Ronon grunted sincerely.

“No need to thank me,” Palmer replied with a small smile. “I’ll radio Colonel Sheppard and let him know she’s in recovery.”

* * *

Ronon was sitting by Natalie’s bedside that night, with John sitting in the other chair on the opposite of her. They were both watching Natalie’s face, peaceful in sleep, her colour having returned with the multiple blood transfusions she’d received. Kai was sitting in John’s lap, giggling happily as he tickled her.

“Stop, unkey John, stop!” she begged through her giggles and Ronon smiled at the pair. As John stopped his relentless tickles Kai wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tight. When she let go she turned in his lap to look across at Ronon. “Daddy, cuggle?” she asked, leaning out from John’s grasp to reach towards him. He smiled brightly and stood up to reach across Natalie and pluck his daughter from her uncle’s arms. She wrapped her arms around his broad neck and buried her face in his dreadlocks, as he rubbed one of his large hands across her small back. “Mommy wake now?” she asked quietly.

“Mommy’s still sleeping,” he told her softly. “She’ll wake up soon,” he promised.

She let go of his neck and sat down in his lap, curling up and closing her eyes. After a while her breathing levelled out and Ronon continued to absently rub her back as she slept. She was still fast asleep when Natalie began to stir 20 minutes later.


	34. NATALIE/JOHN/RONON [4x20]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 4x20 'THE LAST MAN'

It had been two weeks since Natalie’s surgery and while it had been a success, she still faced a long recovery and was still in the infirmary under the watchful eyes of Dr Palmer. It was late in the afternoon and she was sitting up in bed with Kai as they watched some terrible children’s cartoon from earth on a tablet. Natalie smiled at her daughter as she babbled away. She looked up when Rodney entered the infirmary, making a beeline straight for her.

“Something’s wrong,” she said before Rodney could speak a word.

“Well, I wouldn’t say wrong,” he began to ramble, “so much as, not good.”

“Spit it out McKay,” Natalie replied, earning a small Ronon-like glare from Kai as their conversation interrupted her show.

“John’s missing,” Rodney confessed. “Lorne says he dialled Atlantis yesterday and he watched him step through the gate, but he never showed up here and I have no idea what happened to him.”

Natalie stared at him in shock.

“What do you mean he dialled Atlantis yesterday?” Natalie demanded. “Why didn’t you realise he was missing sooner?”

“We did,” Rodney admitted. “We just didn’t want to worry you… until we were sure.”

“Well consider me worried Rodney,” Nat replied angrily. “What’s the plan?”

“Ahh, we don’t really have one,” Rodney murmured. “Yet!” he added quickly in response to Natalie’s glare. “We don’t have a plan yet, but I’ll think of something.”

* * *

John battled against the blinding sand, forcing one foot in front of the other.

“Rodney!” John yelled above the storm, “Tell me about Ronon.”

“What, now?” McKay asked.

“Yes, now,” John yelled back. “Talk to me, Rodney.”

“Right,” Rodney replied, “Uh, well, after what happened to you and then Teyla, he was desperate to get out there and keep fighting. He started recruiting people from all over the galaxy, building a strike force to take the fight to Michael. They were just simple villagers with no military experience but he trained them in all forms of combat and you know Ronon, if there’s one thing he knew it was battle. Sam armed them with some of our equipment: radios, explosives, P-90s. It wasn't long before he had himself a pretty effective combat force. They ran a few successful ops against some of Michael's ground facilities and then, one day, they got a key piece of intel. Michael had taken over a Wraith lab and was using it to create more of his hybrids. They decided to take it out. They were discovered before they could destroy the facility, but Ronon held the hybrids off long enough for his team to escape through the gate, then he detonated the explosives. I’m sorry, John, I wish some of these stories had happier endings. John? John, are you still with me? JOHN?”

The hologram of Rodney turned to face the door, unable to help the man outside. Suddenly the doors opened and John fell through them, barely conscious as he collapsed. He woke again the following morning, and the pair continued to the stasis chamber. Before stepping into the pod, John turned to look at the hologram McKay.

“You know, you never told me what happened to you or Nat or Kai.”

“Oh, you don’t want to hear about that,” Rodney replied sullenly before he reluctantly continued. “The IOA decided to put all its efforts into the defence of the city and ordered us to leave the people of Pegasus to fend for themselves. The idea of standing by and doing nothing while they suffered was too much for Natalie to take and the more I thought about the more I agreed with her. After losing you and Ronon, she was hanging on by a thread. She didn’t want Kai growing up in that kind of world, so we decided to quit. We both headed back to earth and I stayed with her. She was my sister, just as much as Jeannie was and I couldn’t leave her to raise Kai on her own. I got a high paying job with an aerospace engineering firm. Natalie started her own practice and we enrolled Kai in school. Things were just starting to come together, and then she got sick. Of course, no regular doctor could diagnose what was wrong with her, so we ended up back at Stargate Command a year after we left. Complications due to repeated exposure to the Hoffan drug. No cure. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I didn't know what to do. After everything we'd been through, to have this happen, it was too much. And that's when I had my idea to bring you back. She hated the idea of course, begged me not to waste my life trying to bring you back. She was leaving Kai in my custody and she wanted me to focus on raising her and insuring she would know about Atlantis and Ronon and you, but I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let you go. She died three days later, Kai was only 6 years old. I did my best to try to raise her right. I quit the research firm and took a job teaching physics at a local community college. Not much money, but it gave me the free time I needed to look after her and to work on my plan. Jeanie came by every once in a while, to check up on us. When she realised she wasn't going to be able to convince me to stop, she decided to pitch in and help me with the calculations. Kai graduated high school, went to college, had a normal life, but I made sure to tell her all about Atlantis and her parents and you. She was worried about me, but she never tried to stop me. She was the only one who believed I could really bring you back and fix everything. God, she was amazing John, smart like Nat but wild like Ronon. She was a force to be reckoned with and I loved her so much.  She met a boy at college and they got married. I told her that if the plan worked, she might never come to live on earth and would never meet him, but she told me to keep going. She said she would make the most of her time with him in this life, however long that was. She was 31, with a little girl of her own when I finally finished it. She named her Natalie, I’m sorry you’ll never get to meet her. But anyway, back to the plan. There was a problem, I needed to get back to Atlantis. Luckily Lorne still worked at SGC and I convinced him to help me and the rest you know.”

“Yeah. I guess I've had a tough day, but you've had a tough twenty-five years,” John sighed as Rodney finished his story, hopeful that they would be successful and he would be able to save his team. His family.

“OK. We're ready,” Rodney announced with a small smile.

* * *

Ronon was walking the hallways of the city with Natalie and Kai. Nat had finally been released from the infirmary and was trying to build up her strength with short walks. She was leaning heavily on him as they slowly strolled towards the control room, Kai racing ahead in her new-found confidence on her feet.

“She’s getting quick,” Natalie noted with a huff. “I better heal up fast if I’m going to be able to chase after her.”

“Take all the time you need,” Ronon told her, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Natalie sighed at his words, and he knew what she was thinking. John had been missing for 12 days and despite their best efforts they still had no idea where he was and they were no closer to finding Teyla either. Their continued absence was only making Natalie more restless and he knew that she felt useless in her current state. They kept walking and Ronon was just yelling at Kai not to get too far ahead when their radios crackled to life.

 _“Ronon and Natalie to the control room,”_ Rodney called. _“Ronon and Natalie to the control room.”_

They looked at each other and without another word, Ronon scooped Nat up in his arms and rushed the remaining distance to the control room, with Kai toddling along at his heels, laughing joyfully now that her parents were finally keeping up with her. They were ushered in to the conference room when they arrived and stared in shock when they saw John standing before them. Kai rushed past them, reaching up for him to pick her up as she ran to him.

“Unkey John!” she squealed as he lifted her off the floor and held her tightly to him.

“Hey kiddo,” he said to her. “I sure missed you.”

“John?” Nat gasped, also moving towards her brother and holding him tightly. “Oh, thank god you’re alive.”

“Welcome home,” Ronon told him warmly, as he patted the man on the back affectionately. “Where have you been?”

“There’ll be time for that later,” John replied letting go of Natalie and placing Kai back on her feet. “Right now, I need you to gear up. I know where Teyla is.”


	35. NATALIE [5x01]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x01 'SEARCH AND RESCUE'

Nat was still in the Control room when the gate activated and Lt Edison appeared through the wormhole. She rushed down the stairs as quickly as she could, already radioing Neera to come and grab Kai as Edison informed them of the explosion and the buildings collapse.

“…Have Dr Palmer ready his away team,” Colonel Carter ordered as Nat reached her side.

“Sam,” Nat began before Sam cut her off.

“You're not going Dr Sheppard,” she replied sternly. “You're still on medical leave.”

“Sam, that's my team out there,” Nat rationalised, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. “You can't expect me to do nothing. You wouldn't if it was SG-1. I'm not saying I'm fit to dig through the rubble, but at the very least, let me pilot the jumper and supervise the away team.”

Sam looked at her, torn between following protocol or giving in to Nat's request and allowing the doctor to go with them. The two women stared at each other stubbornly. Nat stood with her back straight and her shoulders set, despite still recovering from several bullet wounds and major surgery she stood strong.

“Fine,” Carter eventually relented, “but if I tell you to go sit in the jumper you do it. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Natalie replied with a grateful smile as she rushed towards the locker room, with Kai at her heels. She was changing into her off-world BDU’s when Neera arrived.

“Thank you,” Nat said to the young Athosian as she kissed Kai on the cheek. “Mommy will be home soon,” she promised the little girl. “Daddy and your uncles broke something and Mommy has to go help fix it, ok?”

“Love you mommy,” Kai replied sweetly.

“I love you too. Be good for Neera.”

As the two left the room, Nat finished preparing for the rescue mission and headed for the jumper bay.

* * *

Nat was pacing through the rubble as the combat engineers moved the larger pieces of the crumbled building. They had detected four life signs; two close the surface right below them and another two further down just over to her right. They had already established that the 2 men directly beneath them where Lorne and Rodney, but they had no way of knowing who the other two life signs were. Natalie realized she'd been spending too much time with Rodney when she found herself trying to calculate the odds that John and Ronon were the other two survivors. She didn't need to be a mathematician to know the chances of them both being alive weren't good. As she paced she tried to hide the pain lancing out from her still healing bullet wounds.

“Sit down Dr Sheppard,” Sam ordered.

“I'm fine,” Natalie replied.

“You're pacing is making me nervous,” Sam continued. “Sit down.”

Nat relented and sank down onto a large piece of debris, but no sooner had she sat, she was launching to her feet again as Lorne and Rodney were finally pulled from the rubble and she headed towards McKay as the rest of her medical team headed for Lorne.

“I’m fine,” Rodney told her when she reached his side. “It's just a couple of scrapes.”

“Rodney McKay refusing medical help,” Nat replied sarcastically, “Now I really know there's something wrong!”

“Seriously, I'm OK. Just… You should look after Lorne,” he insisted.

“He’s getting looked after,” Natalie promised, as she began scanning him for any injuries. “So just let me look after you ok?”

“Any survivors?” he asked nervously.

“We found two other life signs,” Nat replied, “but they're buried under a lot more debris than you were, so it's going to take a little longer to get to them."

“Know who it is?”

“Not yet,” Nat sighed, and Rodney took her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as they both hoped that the men they loved would be safe.

“What are you even doing here?” Rodney asked after a moment of silence. “You’re not on active duty yet.”

“I wouldn’t let Sam leave me behind,” Nat explained. “I couldn’t sit at home waiting.”

“I’m sure they made it,” Rodney told her comfortingly as Sam joined them.

“Rodney, did you find Teyla?” she asked.

“No,” Rodney replied sadly. “No, but I think Sheppard was right. He was going to bring her here. We just… we came too soon.”

Sam was interrupted from asking anymore questions when her radio crackled to life and she was informed that Michael's cruiser had appeared. She ordered everyone back to the Jumpers and Natalie took her seat at the controls of Jumper One, immediately engaging the cloak.

* * *

As soon as Nat landed the jumper in the hangar bay aboard the Daedalus, she took off as fast as she could towards the infirmary. By the time she arrived, the Daedalus’ medical team had already helped both men onto beds and Natalie headed straight to Ronon’s side.

“Oh, thank god,” she sighed in relief upon seeing them both alive, and Ronon pushed the medic in front of him to the side, allowing Natalie to reach him. He pulled her close and she closed her eyes, burying her face into his neck, ignoring the blood and dust coating him. They stayed silent, simply holding each other for a few minutes before Ronon let go and gently pushed her away from him.

“John needs your help,” Ronon told her, pushing her towards her brother’s hospital bed. She ducked back in to kiss him quickly before turning to face John.

“What are you doing here?” John asked, as she stepped up beside him and started removing the field dressing from his side.

“Someone had to come save you idiots,” she replied affectionately as she took in the extent of the wound. “God this is really bad, John.”

“It's going to be OK, though, right?” John asked in reply, breathing heavily from the pain.

“Yeah,” Nat replied, focused on cleaning out the wound. “You need some serious work but you should, you know, live to fight another day and all that.”

“So, what's going on?” he asked, “I guess Michael showed up before the Daedalus, huh?”

“Yeah,” Nat replied. “We had to lower the shields to beam you up here, but I'm sure Rodney and Sam will be able to fix it.”

“McKay's alive?” John asked, hope lighting up his eyes.

“He’s fine,” Nat promised with a warm smile, before her face turned sombre again. “He and Lorne were the only two to make it out of the rubble.”

“Patch me up,” John ordered. “I need to get back out there.”

“What?” Nat gasped. “No, no, no. Look, you will be fine, but you're far from it now. You've lost a lot of blood. You need surgery and a transfusion. I mean, this can't wait.”

“Nat, Michael's here,” John told her stubbornly. “That means Teyla's probably on that ship. I'm too close to sit here and do nothing.”

“You're not going be sitting around doing nothing,” Nat bit back sharply. “You're going be laying here in surgery.”

“Look, there's got to be ...” John began, attempting to sit up before collapsing back onto the bed. “There's got to be a quick fix.”

“No!” Nat shouted.

“I just need a few hours,” John tried to bargain. “And you’re not exactly one to talk about not being medically cleared to go on a mission.”

“John, you can’t,” Nat insisted. “This is serious. You need to go into surgery.”

The siblings stared at each other, neither one willing to back down.

“Nat, please,” John begged, grabbing hold of her arm. “I’ve had the chance to rescue a team mate before, and it slipped through my hands. I am not letting that happen again.”

“Ok,” Nat relented. “I can do a patch job but you have to go easy on it. It’s not going to hold for long and I can’t give you anything strong for the pain.”

“I can handle the pain,” John declared. “Just get me ready to go.”

“I will,” Nat promised. “Go bring her home.”

She focused on patching up the wound the best she could and then followed John and Ronon as they went in search of Rodney and Sam.

“…We could launch a 302 attack,” Sam suggested when they entered the control room.

“That's what I was thinking,” John agreed, offering Rodney a comforting smile as the other man looked up at the sound of his voice.

“Colonel!” Sam said, surprised to see him up and about. “Dr Sheppard, I thought you said he was out of commission?”

“She revised her diagnosis,” John explained before Natalie could respond.

“God what is it with you Sheppard’s?” Sam asked in frustration. “Neither of you seem capable of acknowledging when you’re wounded.”

“I’ll be fine,” John huffed. “Besides, we may have an idea.”

“Maybe a way to get Teyla back,” Ronon added.

* * *

By the time the Daedalus arrived back at Atlantis, Natalie was struggling. She requested to be beamed to the infirmary and upon her arrival she laid down on a bed next to John, with Teyla on his other side. She huffed out a breath and stared up at the ceiling, trying to steady her breathing as she winced in pain. Both John and Teyla looked over at her in concern.

“You ok?” John asked her.

“I will be,” Natalie grimaced. “Just over did it a bit. Think I probably tore something.”

“You are both as bad as each other,” Teyla reprimanded. “What were either of you thinking?”

“That we don’t leave anyone behind,” Nat replied as Palmer entered the room.

“Alright Colonel Sheppard,” Palmer said. “Let’s get you into the OR. Natalie? What happened?”

“I’m good,” Nat panted waving her hand absently at her colleague, “You just focus on John and I’ll jump under the scanner in a minute once I catch my breath.”

“Ok,” Palmer sighed. “Just promise you won’t go self-diagnosing. I’ll send Dr. Marks over to check on you.”

Natalie nodded, and closed her eyes as John was wheeled from the room. She vaguely heard he and Teyla talking about the baby’s name, but the majority of her attention was on the pain flaring across her stomach.

“John told me what you did,” Teyla said quietly when they were alone in the infirmary. “If you had not agreed to patch him up and clear him for the rescue mission I doubt Torren nor I would be here. Thank you, Natalie.”

“Don’t mention it,” Nat replied. “I couldn’t exactly tell him no when I wasn’t even supposed to be on that mission to begin with.”

“Yes,” Teyla agreed. “You all risked a great deal for us.”

“You would have done the same for any of us Teyla,” Nat explained. “We weren’t going to leave you there... I really need to get under a scanner.”

With considerable effort Natalie heaved herself off the bed and headed over to the nearby Ancient scanner, pushing a button to start the automatic sweep before lying underneath it. Before the scan was complete Dr. Marks arrived, heading over to the data terminal to view the results. He shot her a judgemental look, to which she smiled sheepishly.

“There’s no serious damage,” he informed her, “But you need to rest. Now get in bed and let me get you something for the pain.”

Natalie wordlessly rolled out from under the scanner and hobbled back over to the bed. Ronon arrived with Kai on his hip as Marks was inserting an IV line.

“What’s the damage?” he asked, pulling a chair up to her bedside.

“She’s lucky she didn’t tear anything,” Marks informed him with an exasperated sigh. “Bed rest for the next few days and then some light exercise. Which I’ll remind you is what Dr Palmer told you last week but you chose to ignore him and mount a rescue mission instead.”

“I promise I’ll listen this time,” Natalie replied, leaning her head back into the pillow and feeling her eyelids start to droop as the drugs started to take effect.


	36. RONON/JOHN/RONON [5x02]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x02 'THE SEED'

Ronon yawned heavily as he walked, pushing the stroller ahead of him, grateful that Kai had finally fallen asleep. He had been walking the halls all night and he was exhausted. The sun had risen hours ago, but he’d continued to trudge along, the movement of the stroller the only thing keeping his daughter calm. Natalie had finally been cleared to return to work, and the following night Kai had spent the entire night screaming. Nothing would calm her. Eventually Ronon decided to tuck her into her stroller and head out towards the south pier. At least then her screaming wouldn’t disturb anyone and Nat would be able to get a solid night’s sleep. As soon as he started to jog, Kai’s cries had died down and she had finally fallen asleep. Ronon had been jogging around the city for most of the night, as Kai would wake and begin screaming again as soon as he stopped. Once he was sure that Natalie would be awake, he began to make his way back towards their quarters. He wondered if Teyla would be able to watch Kai for a few hours so that he could get some sleep himself. As if summoned by his thoughts, he found Teyla standing in front of his door when he rounded the corner.

“Ronon?” she asked in surprise. “I tried calling you on the radio many times.”

“I think I left it beside my bed,” Ronon explained. “Why what’s wrong?”

Before Teyla could explain, McKay and Beckett joined them in the hallway.

“What is it?” McKay asked immediately.

“It’s Dr Sheppard,” Teyla replied. “We had plans to meet for breakfast this morning but she did not show up.”

“She’s probably just sleeping in,” Rodney replied.

“She’s been pretty tired lately,” Ronon added, “Going back to work after her medical leave has worn her out, and she’s been stressed out about waking Carson up, plus Kai was fussing all night.”

“That is what I though too, but that was several hours ago. Now she is late for her shift and is not responding to her radio. I am concerned,” Telya explained.

“None of this explains why you called me,” Rodney whined.

“I could not raise Ronon on the radio and was concerned for him also,” Teyla replied. “I had hoped you would be able to override the door controls.”

“Well I’m here now,” Ronon grunted, stepping forward to wave his hand over the doors control panel, calling out as the door opened. “Nat?” When no reply came from inside they all looked at each other in concern. “Nat?” Ronon yelled again, louder this time.

“She must be unconscious,” Beckett declared, as they rushed into the room. Carson knelt down beside the bed and opened one of Natalie’s eyes. “Pupil’s dilated,” he announced.

“Carson,” Teyla said suddenly, “Step away from the bed.”

“What is it?’ Rodney asked.

Teyla reached out, grasping the covers and pulling them back sharply. Everyone in the room gasped as they stared at the mass of vine-like tentacles covering Natalie’s body and wrapping around the bed.

“What the hell is that thing?” Ronon asked in concern, as Teyla keyed her radio beside him.

“Colonel Sheppard?” she asked, “This is Teyla.”

“Go ahead,” came John’s reply.

“John, we have a problem.”

* * *

Ronon paced John’s quarters impatiently.

“I don’t like waiting,” he told Sheppard and McKay.

“I know,” John agreed, “but at least Woolsey relented and let us be quarantined together now.”

“But why are we even in quarantine at all?” McKay asked in frustration. “Carson said he tested Kai and she was clean. If this thing was contagious, she would be the first one to catch it.”

“Woolsey’s scared that we will react too,” John explained and Ronon could see the other man’s frustration, but before he could comment on it the door opened and Mr Woolsey entered the room. He explained that the tendrils had extended even further and that Beckett had created something that he hoped would kill it.

“If Doctor Sheppard really is the key to this thing, there is an easier way,” Woolsey told them. “We'd only need a couple of well-aimed shots at the Isolation Room.”

“Wait a second,” Rodney demanded. “What, you're talking about drones? What, you're going to fire drones at one of our own people?”

“You can’t do that!” Ronon growled in anger. “What about Beckett’s drug?”

“I didn't come to Atlantis with the intention of killing one of my senior staff inside of a week,” Woolsey replied defensively, clearly shaken to be on the receiving end of Ronon’s wrath. “But my only other option is to risk someone else's life on a solution that hasn't even been tested yet.”

“Then test it,” Ronon replied. “I’ve got the same bug. I’ll take a shot right now.”

“No,” John said. “I’ll do it.”

The two men shared a look and Ronon nodded reluctantly. He could read John’s expression clearly, they couldn’t risk the chance that Kai would be left orphaned. It made sense for John to take the risk. With no time to waste, the four men headed straight for the infirmary.

Once John was strapped to the bed, Beckett stepped up and injected the serum into Sheppard’s neck. Ronon stood close by, watching intently, waiting for it to take effect. He stayed by John’s side as he began to convulse and eventually resorted to holding him down on the bed, to protect him from injuring himself.

“Doc?” Ronon asked in concern as John’s body well limp on the bed and the heartrate monitor began to flatline. He stepped back to give Beckett and the medical team room to work, placing a comforting hand on McKay’s shoulder.

“Oh god,” he heard McKay whisper softly, “Come on John.”

Both men breathed matching sighs of relief when Beckett declared John’s heartrate was back to a normal rhythm and watched as John regained consciousness.

“How’d I do?’ he mumbled, and Rodney stepped up to his bedside, grasping his hand tightly as Beckett prepared to take a blood sample.

* * *

When John woke, Rodney was standing nearby.

“What happened,” he asked, sitting up to face the scientist.

“It worked,” Rodney said, walking over to John’s side. “Ronon’s on his way in to give her the shot.”

“God damn it!” John cursed. “When?”

“He just got there. Here,” Rodney replied, handing John’s earpiece to him, “we’re tapped into the intercom.”

Both men listened intently as Ronon struggled towards Natalie, and John hissed angrily as he heard Ronon prepare to force his way through the blocked hallway. He quickly stood up from the bed, grabbing the syringe and insuring it was ready to go.

“What are you doing?” Rodney asked.

“If I’m right, this is about to go very, very wrong,” John explained and he heard Rodney’s complaint as he rushed from the room, heading for the control room, the sound of Ronon’s blaster clear over the radio.

“What’s happening?” he asked once he entered the control room.

“Uh, we've lost contact,” Zalenka admitted.

“Well, turn the power back on,” John ordered. “Open up a channel to the Isolation Room.”

“What? Why?” Zalenka spat in reply.

“Just do it!” John nearly shouted.

“All right,” Radek relented, “you have a channel.”

“Natalie?” John asked hesitantly over the radio. “It’s John. Do you read?”

 _“I hear you, Colonel,”_ came the reply. It was Nat’s voice but somehow different and John shivered as he listened to her continue, _“I'm not Doctor Sheppard anymore.”_

“Well, who are you?” John asked, masking the fear he felt threatening him.

 _“I have no designation yet,”_ the alien voice continued. _“I'll be given one when I'm complete.”_

“What about Ronon?”

 _“You mean the intruder? He's alive, for the moment. He's been neutralised. I can feel his pulse. It's weak. It would only take the slightest squeeze._ ”

“Yeah, but you don't want to do that because he's… he's one of you, remember?” John asked, before shutting off his radio and turning to Carson. “Keep her talking,” he ordered before leaving the room, ignoring Woolsey’s protests as he ran for the stairs.

* * *

John stepped hesitantly towards Natalie. Her body was completely covered by the mass of vine-like tentacles with only her face visible. Deep red veins, pulsed across cheeks and forehead and John panicked for a moment. _‘What if she’s too far gone for this to work?’_ he thought to himself, before shaking away the thought and injecting the antidote into her neck. For a moment nothing happened, and then suddenly Natalie’s eyes bulged open wide and the vines started writhing erratically. John gasped in pain as one shot through his stomach and he grabbed at in pain as he sank to his knees. Grimacing in pain, he aimed his sidearm at Natalie. _‘Don’t make me do this Tally,’_ he thought as he took aim. He hesitated for just a moment, unwilling to shoot his sister and remove any hope of finding another way to save her. He steeled himself to pull the trigger and just as he was about to shoot, Nat’s body fell limp against the bed, and the vines all collapsed lifelessly. He gasped for breath as he lowered his gun, calling for help on the radio before slumping to the ground unconscious.

* * *

Ronon was sitting in a bed in the infirmary with Natalie in the bed beside him. He saw her watching John’s unconscious form in the bed on her other side nervously. Ronon desperately wanted to talk to her, but with his throat heavily bruised he was unable to speak. With no other option, he hoped off the bed and pushed it across the floor until it sat against hers before climbing back on to it. Now that they were lying next to each other he reached out wordlessly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against his chest. She wriggled in his arms until he was spooned against her back, arms holding her tightly as she continued to watch her brother, desperately waiting for him to wake up.

After a while she let her eyes fall shut, resting against Ronon and he felt her body relax. He simply held her tighter, placing soft kisses to her next, relieved to feel her breathing beside him. While she slept he kept an eye on John, waiting for him to wake after the surgery. When his eyes finally opened, Ronon gently shook Natalie until she too was awake.

“You ok?” she asked John hesitantly.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “You?”

“Yeah,” Nat echoed. “Palmer’s keeping me in under observation and Ronon’s got a bruised larynx. No talking.”

“I’m going to be honest with you, kiddo,” John sighed. “I didn’t think we were making it out of this one.”

“Thanks for rescuing me again,” she replied.

“Anytime,” John promised.


	37. NATALIE/JOHN/NATALIE [5x03]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur at the end of 5x03 'BROKEN TIES'

Natalie paced the isolation room in concern. As soon as the jumper had come through the gate, John had radioed her and informed her of Ronons condition. By the time John and Lorne finally carried her unconscious husband through the door, Natalie's heart rate was rapid and her breathing accelerated. She paused for a moment, forcing herself to calm down as Ronon was lowered onto the gurney and she quickly went about setting up the machines to monitor him and began withdrawing blood.

He remained unconscious for the better part of an hour as Natalie ran a series of tests, and ascertained the extent of his condition. She breathed a sigh of relief when he finally started to wake, but her relief was short lived. The man strapped to the gurney in front of her was not her husband, at least not the husband she recognised.

“Let me go!” he demanded as he tested the restraints.

“Ronon, I can’t do that,” Natalie informed him, her voice soft and reassuring.

“You let me go or I promise you I will get out of these restraints,” he replied menacingly. “And when I do I will kill you. I’ll kill all of you, if you try and stop me!”

It was at that point that Ronon had started violently thrashing around as he tried to break loose and Nat had watched in horror at the effect the wraith enzyme was having on his personality. John rushed into the room, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her out, the door sweeping closed behind them with two marines stepping in front of it. Natalie fought against her brothers hold on her, trying desperately to get back into the room.

“Let go of me!” She begged. “He needs me. I can’t leave him in there alone.”

“I can’t,” John replied. “You know I can’t. He’s not safe like this.” As the truth of his words sank in she sagged, John’s tight grip on her shoulders the only thing keeping her standing. “It’s going to be ok,” he promised. “We’ll get him through this.”

* * *

Ronon was still thrashing and yelling an hour later when Mr Woolsey entered the observation room to hear Natalie’s report.

“…He has so much of the enzyme running through him that his body can hardly process it,” Natalie explained. “When it eventually does, that's when he'll come down and he'll come down hard.”

“I'm going to talk to him,” John announced before abruptly leaving the room. Everyone else also decided to take their leave until only Natalie and Rodney remained in the observation room, watching through the large glass window as John entered the room below them. Natalie watched tensely as the two men talked and let her head fall against the glass as John finally left the room. She closed her eyes as Ronon yelled after him.

“Kill me or set me free!” he screamed. “Sheppard! You kill me or set me free!”

Rodney’s hand was warm and comforting against her shoulder as she began to tremble. Ronon continued to scream and she felt helpless.

“He’ll get through this,” Rodney whispered, and she turned to him, folding into his chest and he held her as Ronon continued to yell and thrash wildly against the bindings.

* * *

John stood in the open doorway of the observation room, watching his sister as she slept, curled up in an office chair. After a few moments, he stepped up to her side and gently shook her shoulder.

“Nat?” he murmured. “Nat, wake up.”

“Ronon?” she asked suddenly as she jerked awake, sitting bolt upright in the chair. “Ronon?”

“Hey, Hey. It’s just me,” John soothed. “You fell asleep. Ronon’s fine.”

She blinked a few times, looking around and realising where she was.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she mumbled, standing and moving over the computer screens that showed the video feed of the isolation room below. Ronon was finally sleeping, although they both knew he was not out of the woods yet.

“You should go to bed,” John told her as he stood beside her.

“No,” Natalie replied. “No, I need to keep an eye on him.”

“Nat it’s 3 in the morning,” John argued. “You’re not going to be any use to him if you don’t get some sleep. I’ll keep watch for a few hours. Go take a nap, see Kai, have a shower. He’ll still be here when you come back.”

“Ok,” Nat agreed reluctantly. “But promise me you’ll radio me if he deteriorates.”

“I will,” John promised. “Go.”

He watched as she slowly trudged out of the room and once the door closed behind her, he sat down in the chair she had recently vacated and took up watch over his brother.

* * *

As much as she hadn’t wanted to leave Ronon, she had to admit that John was right. She had needed to sleep and after a quick shower she had curled up on Ronon’s side of the bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit his pillow. It was midmorning when she finally woke and she decided to head straight to the mess hall for a late breakfast, or possibly an early lunch considering the time. After eating she went in search of Kai, feeling terrible when she realised that she had no idea who was watching over her daughter. She had been so focused on Ronon when he had been brought in that she hadn’t thought to contact Neera at all. She found the young woman in her quarters.

“Neera?” Natalie asked quietly from the open door. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call yesterday.”

“Natalie, it’s ok,” Neera replied sweetly. “Kanan explained everything. Is Ronon ok?”

“He will be,” Natalie sighed. “Where is Kai? I feel like the worst mother in the galaxy right now.”

“She’s with Teyla,” Neera replied. “We both realised that you would want to focus on Ronon right now, so she and Kanan took her back to their room last night to sleep.”

“Thank you. I’m sure I don’t tell you that enough,” Nat admitted. “I’m not very good at this mother thing and I don’t know how I’d survive without you.”

“You’re a great mother, Natalie. You just have a lot on your plate.”

“That I do,” Nat agreed. “I should go find Teyla.”

Neera smiled in agreement, and Natalie left the room, wandering the halls in search of Teyla and her daughter. She found them both with Kanan and Torren in one of the rec rooms.

“Hey there beautiful girl,” Natalie greeted when she walked in the room and Kai looked over at her with a beaming smile.

“Mommy!” she yelled, running over and throwing herself into Nat’s arms.

“God, I missed you!” Natalie told her little girl as she planted kisses all over her cheeks.

“Miss you too,” Kai replied, burying her face into Natalie’s neck as she wrapped her tiny little arms around her mother. Nat held on to her just as tightly, savouring the moment. “Daddy?” the little girl asked suddenly, pulling back from the hug just far enough to look at her mother’s face.

“Daddy’s feeling a bit sick,” Nat told her gently. “That’s why you had to stay with aunty Teyla and Uncle Kanan because Mommy was busy giving Daddy some medicine to make him feel better.”

“Daddy better now?” Kai asked, eyes wide with concern,

“He will be soon,” Nat promised. “Do you think you could stay with aunty Teyla a little longer, so that Mommy can go look after Daddy?” As Natalie spoke, she looked over her daughter’s shoulder to where Teyla and Kanan were sitting on the floor with baby Torren. Teyla nodded in response to Natalie’s questioning look and she smiled back in thanks.

“Ok,” Kai replied happily. “Give Daddy big cuggles and kisses.”

Nat laughed softly as the little girl let go of her and toddled back to where the Emmagan’s were sitting.

“You sure this is ok?” Natalie asked.

“We will look after her until Ronon is back on his feet,” Teyla promised. “Go take care of him.”

“Thank you Teyla,” Nat replied emotionally before leaving and making her way back to the observation room.

 

* * *

 

~TO BE CONTINUED~

* * *

 


	38. NATALIE/JOHN/NATALIE/RONON [5x03]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur at the end of 5x03 'BROKEN TIES'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second half of the previous chapter. I decided to split it in half because it was getting a bit long and I also wanted to attach a warning to this half.   
> Domestic violence -kind of- and also a sex scene.   
> Enjoy

When she arrived, she found John standing with his forehead pressed against the glass, his eyes closed tightly and his face pinched in pain.

“John?” Natalie asked in concern, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

He turned at the sound of her voice, trying to hide to worst of his emotions.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he told her. “It’s just harder than I thought watching him go through this.”

Natalie stepped up beside him, looking down into the isolation room. Ronon was no longer straining against the straps wildly, but was instead writhing in pain and moaning.

“How long has he been like that?” she asked, cringing in sympathy to his pain.

“A few hours,” John sighed. “Palmer stopped by to check on him a little while ago and said it was to be expected.”

Natalie nodded in agreement, but quickly left the room. The two marines guarding the door looked at her expectantly as she approached.

“Can you open the door please?” she asked them and they instantly stepped aside to let her pass through.

“Oh Ronon,” she sighed when she saw him. He was clammy and shaking, whimpering in pain as he tossed and turned on the bed. Natalie felt a few tears slide down her cheeks as she walked over to him, taking hold of one of his hands as she stroked a soothing palm over his forehead. “It’s going to be ok,” she soothed. “I’ll get you through this I promise.”

“Nat,” Ronon sobbed, sounding broken. “Nat, please just kill me. Please, I can’t.”

“Hey,” Nat replied softly as more tears fell down her face. “Hey now. Don’t say that. You’ll be ok. Everything’s going to be ok.” She turned to find a cloth on a nearby table and wet it before placing it over his heated forehead.

“Please,” he begged, “please Nat, it’s too much. I want to die.”

“You’re going to be just fine,” she soothed, as he closed his eyes and whimpered. “I love you and I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” She pulled a chair up beside the bed and continued to pat the damp cloth against his clammy skin. Talking to him all the while as he whimpered and moaned before finally falling into a fitful sleep. Natalie stayed by his side, holding his hand and running her other hand gently over his face and hair.

* * *

John was leaning back in his chair, not sleeping but resting his eyes when he heard it. Ronon roared with anger in the room below and then a crashing sound followed. John was on his feet almost instantly, staring down into the isolation room, where Ronon had broken free of his restraints. John took off running, and was inside the room in only a few seconds, but it was long enough for Ronon to have grabbed Natalie and thrown her against the wall. He had her pinned there by her throat as she flailed against him, desperately grabbing at his arms and clawing at his fingers wrapped around her throat, squeezing tightly. She was gasping for breath as she struggled against the man towering over her, her eyes staring into his begging him to realise what he was doing. John aimed a wraith stunner at the crazed man, firing three quick successive bursts before Ronon finally fell to the floor. Natalie landed on her hands and knees, gasping for breath, bruises already forming on her throat.

“Nat?” John yelled as he ran to her side, the two marines that had been guarding the door approached Ronon cautiously. Once they confirmed that he was unconscious, they set about carrying him back to the gurney and reinforced the restraints. “Nat?” John asked again, kneeling beside her, unable to see her face past the curtain of hair. “Nat, please talk to me?”

“I’m ok,” she croaked, voice barely above a whisper as she looked up at him, tears staining her cheeks.

“No, you’re not,” John argued. “Come on, we need to get you to Palmer.”

He was grateful that she didn’t put up much of a fight and quickly looped his arm around her, almost carrying her as he led them towards the infirmary.

“Dr Sheppard?” Dr Palmer gasped when he saw them. “What happened?”

“Ronon slipped the restraints,” John explained as he helped Natalie sit on a nearby empty bed. “Had her pinned against the wall before we could stun him.”

“Alright, let’s take a look at you then,” the doctor replied, stepping up to Nat and gently touching at the marks on her skin. She winced as he touched his fingertips to an already dark section of bruising. “Sorry.”

“I’ll be fine,” she whispered painfully, then rolled her eyes when she saw the glare that John levelled at her. “I need to get back to him,” she insisted. “I have no idea the effect the stunner will have on his recovery.”

“You’re not going back in that room until I’m certain he’s not a threat,” John argued.

“It wasn’t him,” Natalie continued to argue, her voice straining in an attempt to be heard. “My job is to take care of him.”

“No,” Palmer interrupted. “Your job now is to rest. No more talking. Your larynx is bruised and you will need to limit talking for the next few days to recover. I’ll give you something for the pain and an anti-inflammatory.”

“Thanks, doc,” John replied. “I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Natalie glared at her brother, knowing he wasn’t going to leave her side, or let her back in to see Ronon.

* * *

Ronon finally woke up, clear headed and himself again, 3 days later. Natalie was curled up in a chair in the observation room, where she had been since leaving the infirmary. John had refused to let her into the isolation room to sit with Ronon, and so she had refused to leave the observation room. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and despite the vivid black bruising around her neck, her voice had slowly started to return and she was able to speak softly without pain. Rodney had been sitting with Ronon when he woke, but John had demanded Palmer run a blood test to guarantee the enzyme was gone before he would let Natalie into the room.

“Ok,” he finally relented, once Palmer announced Ronon was fully recovered. “Go.”

Natalie had barely paused, running out the door as soon as the words left his mouth, flinging herself into Ronon’s untethered arms. He held her close as she buried her face in his chest, rubbing a soothing hand across her back as he sat on the edge of the bed with his legs hanging over the side.

“How are you feeling?” she asked as she pulled back to look at him.

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a jumper,” Ronon replied, looking exhausted. “What happened to your neck?”

“It’s nothing,” Natalie said with a shake of her head, before pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. “God, I missed that,” she murmured, her lips brushing his with every word.

“It’s not nothing,” he continued after catching his breath. “What happened?”

“You happened,” John replied, startling Natalie wo hadn’t realised he’d entered the room behind her.

“What do you mean?” Ronon asked, looking over Natalie’s shoulder at John in confusion.

“You slipped your restraints,” John explained, “Had her pinned against the wall 3 nights ago. Would have killed her if I hadn’t stunned you.”

“Oh God,” Ronon gasped in horror, dropping his hands from Natalie’s body as though he’d been electrocuted. “Oh God.”

“It’s ok,” Nat promised, placing a hand to his cheek before he flinched away. “I’m ok. You didn’t mean it. It was the drug, not you.”

“I’m sorry,” Ronon whispered, sounding broken and fragile. “I’m so sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Nat replied, stepping closer to the bed, until she was standing between his legs, pressed against him from hip to shoulder. “Everything’s going to be ok now.”

* * *

After being given the all clear by Dr Palmer, Ronon was happy to finally step outside the isolation room. Natalie held his hand as they walked back to their quarters, explaining as they walked that Teyla had offered to watch Kai for the remainder of the day and Neera would watch her until the morning so that they could rest.  When they finally entered their quarters, Ronon slumped down onto the bed, grateful to finally have the large, soft, comfortable mattress underneath him. His eyes darted open suddenly when he felt Nat climb on top of him, his breath catching in his throat when he noticed she was completely naked. “Nat?” he murmured, the question clear in his voice.

“I just need you,” she whispered in reply, leaning forward to kiss him softly. “Need to feel that you’re really here. That you’re back. That you’re you.” Each sentence was punctuated by another kiss, and Ronon felt himself getting quickly on board with Nat’s plan as she ground her hips slowly against his, through his very thin hospital scrubs.

“I’m here,” he promised. “I’m right here.” His arms wrapping around her back. His large hands running along the smooth expanse of skin.

“Then show me,” she replied, moving her head to kiss along his neck.

He sat up, with her straddling his lap and quickly pulled off his shirt, throwing it across the room, before pulling his wife back against him, kissing her hungrily. His tongue licked against the seam of her lips until they parted and he dove into her mouth. 

“Too many clothes,” she muttered, climbing off him and pulling him with her off the bed until she was able to rid him of the last of the hospital scrubs. She quickly twined herself back around him, kissing his neck and then down across his collarbone and onto his nipples. He gasped with pleasure as she sucked on one of them, her hand coming up to tweak the other between her thumb and forefinger. He turned them both around, lifting her by the hips to place her in the middle of the bed before quickly climbing on top of her. He slowed his movements, one hand holding his weight off her as the fingers of the other ghosted across the dark bruising on her neck.

“It’s ok,” she murmured, reaching up to wrap her hand around his wrist. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t hate myself for hurting you,” he sighed, letting his head fall against her shoulder, the feeling of guilt overwhelming him. “I’m supposed to protect you.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” she whispered, running her fingers down his side and making him shiver with pleasure. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied, pulling back to look into her eyes. Her pupils were blown wide with lust, a blush dusting her cheeks.

“Prove it,” she challenged with a smirk, surging up to claim his lips again. He was lost in the feel of her tongue tangling with his, and her hands roaming over his skin. He began trailing kisses along her jaw and then he covered every inch of bruised skin with feather-light kisses, replacing the pain his hands had caused with caresses of love. By the time he moved lower to mouth at her collarbones, she was writhing with pleasure beneath him, reaching down with one hand to stroke his length. He moaned into her chest as she rolled her hips, positioning him at her entrance and with a swift thrust he was buried deep inside her. He held still, both of them breathing heavily. “Move!” she ordered impatiently, grabbing hold of his hips in attempt to make him shift. He chuckled as he captured her lips again and she moaned into his mouth as he began to slowly thrust in and out. He continued to kiss as he thrust slowly into her, taking his time bringing her apart. “I need more Ronon,” she moaned, and he increased the speed of his thrusts as he moved to suck one of her nipples into his mouth. His dreadlocks fell forwards, draping over her chest and shoulders and Natalie continued to moan louder as he moved his attention to the other breast, his teeth grazing her nipple, his hips snapping quick and hard. “Oh… Oh… Oh God!” she screamed and he started kissing back up her chest and neck until he recaptured her mouth in a dirty kiss. She bit down lightly on his bottom lip and his hips stuttered as he mirrored her moans.

“Oh God, Nat,” he sighed, gasping for breath as her hands roamed over his back, fingers digging into the flesh. “Oh God, I love you.”

In response to his words and his movements, she arched her back, surging off the bed. She clung to his shoulders, pressing their chests against each other as she screamed through her orgasm. She clenched her muscles tightly around his dick as she came undone and he quickly followed her over the edge. He thrust into her as they both rode out the aftershocks before pulling out and collapsing on the bed next to her. She rolled over until her head was pillowed on his chest and her leg was draped over his hips, nestling in closely as her eyes drifted shut.

“I missed you,” she murmured before she fell asleep. Ronon stayed awake for a little longer, staring up at the ceiling as his hand lightly stroked his wife’s back. She shifted in her sleep, her hand coming to rest over his heart as she snuggled closer, and he used the hand not stroking her back to sweep her hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear. He smiled down at her sleepily, his eyes fluttering closed.


	39. RONON/JOHN/NATALIE [5x06]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x06 'THE SHRINE'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another split chapter. second half should be up soon, but this was getting too big for one chapter.

Ronon was quiet as he entered the infirmary. It was late, well after midnight and Rodney was sleeping, the only patient in the otherwise empty ward. Ronon smiled sadly when he saw John lying beside him, pressed tightly along his back, his arms holding the scientist to him. It had been almost two weeks since they had returned from the flooded planet and with Rodney’s condition deteriorating rapidly, John had given up any pretence of their relationship. From what Ronon had learned of earth culture, he knew that there would be severe consequences for them, but for now John’s close presence was bringing Rodney comfort and that was their only focus. He passed them by, heading towards the back of the infirmary to where he knew Natalie would still be working. He found her as he expected, staring at a computer screen, attempting to analyse Rodney’s latest scan as she rubbed her eyes with exhaustion.

“You need to sleep,” he told has he stepped up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and beginning to massage away the tension he felt there. She sighed quietly as she leant back into his chest, letting her head fall backwards so that he could lean in for a sloppy kiss. The angle was awkward but he made it work, feeling her relax underneath him, before she pulled away.

“I have to keep working,” she insisted, turning back to the computer screen. “There has to be a way.”

“That’s the other reason why I came to find you,” Ronon admitted, turning Natalie in her chair so that she was facing him. “You know how I told you that my grandfather suffered from the second childhood?” Natalie nodded, remaining silent and waiting for him to continue. “What I didn’t mention, was how he died. What happened to him on his last day…”

* * *

John woke with a start. The infirmary around him was dark, and Rodney continued to sleep, curled up in his arms. He heard raised voices coming from the back of the infirmary and climbed off the bed, careful not to jostle Rodney. He headed towards the sound, finding Ronon and Natalie arguing heatedly.

“…I said no,” Natalie said sternly. “I’m not letting you take him off-world without proof.”

“What’s going on?” John interrupted before Ronon could reply.

“John, I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to wake you,” Nat replied. “Is Rodney ok?”

“He’s still sleeping. What’s going on?” he repeated, listening intently as Ronon explained about the Shrine he had visited as a child. Natalie interjected throughout his explanation, making her doubt clear. “It’s late,” John finally offered. “Let’s all get some sleep and we will discuss this with Woolsey in the morning.”

They all agreed and John returned to Rodney’s bed, curling back up against the man he loved and falling asleep.

* * *

Natalie and Ronon barely spoke for 3 days following the meeting with Mr Woolsey and Nat’s refusal to allow the team to take Rodney to the shrine. John barely left Rodney’s side and so he saw the effect the entire situation was having on his sister. He knew that as much as he was struggling to deal with what was happening, she was also attempting to carry her own burden. Once he was sure Rodney was sleeping soundly, he made his way to her office, where light was spilling from the open doorway.

“Hey,” he greeted as he entered the room, sitting on her desk, close enough that his thigh brushed against her arm where she was leaning forward.

“Hey,” she replied, her face drawn tight with exhaustion and worry. “How are you doing?”

“I’m hanging in there,” he replied honestly. “I’m more worried about you right now though. When was the last time you slept?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, rubbing the palm of her hand down the length of her face.

“You need to talk to Ronon,” he prodded. “You two have to fix things.”

“I don’t know how,” Nat replied sadly. “He wants… you all want me to give up fighting and let you take Rodney to some magical shrine and then let him die. I’m just trying to save him.”

“I know you are,” John promised, pulling her up so that he could hug her. “And I love you for that, but we’re running out of time.”

“Jeannie arrives in a few days,” Nat continued. “I’m trying to pull everything together to help explain it to her but… I don’t know what else to do.”

John followed her gaze to the computer on her desk, seeing Rodney’s face on the screen.

“Is that today’s?” he asked softly.

“No. It’s from last week,” Nat replied. “He wanted me to hold onto it until after… just in case. But you should probably watch it now.” She reached passed him and moved the cursor back a few minutes and pressed play. John watched quietly as Rodney began speaking.

“Natalie, I just wanted both you and Ronon to know how much I care about you. You’re family, in every sense of the word and I know I’m not very good with the emotional stuff but I needed you to know that.”

“Thank you, Rodney,” Nat’s voice played out over the speakers. “We both feel the same way about you.”

“Yes. Yes,” Rodney replied with a nod, before turning to look straight into the lens of the camera. “John, I love you.”

John stiffened in Natalie’s arms and she hugged him tighter as his eyes misted with unshed tears.

“I think I’ve been in love with you since those first few days in Antarctica, although I didn’t realise it at the time. I never hoped you would feel the same way about me, but being your best friend was more than enough. When you finally told me how you felt I… Well I was the happiest I’ve ever been... except for the threat of imminent death of course, but I guess we’re always dealing with that, aren’t we? What I’m trying to say is loving you and being loved by you this last year has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I wanted you to know that before I forget… Before I don’t remember how much I love you… You can stop the tape now Nat.”

He was crying by the time the image on the screen froze, and Natalie held him.

“I’m going to go back to my quarters,” he finally whispered, quickly leaving the room as soon as Nat let him go.

* * *

John woke with a start to Rodney banging on his door, screaming his name in panic. He launched himself out of bed and the moment he opened the door, Rodney rushed forward, grabbing on to John’s shoulders as if to convince himself that John was really there.

“You were there, and then y…you ...” Rodney babbled.

“Rodney, Rodney! I'm right here! What's wrong?” John asked as he ran his hands up and down Rodney’s biceps to sooth him.

“I woke up and everybody left,” Rodney explained and John felt his heart break at the panic in the other man’s voice.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling Rodney to his chest and holding him tightly. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was ... I got so scared,” Rodney murmured against his chest. “I was sure that ... by morning what was left of my mind was going be gone…. John, I've never been so scared. I'm slipping away. I'm slipping away and I don't know how to stop myself.”

“You’re still here, all right?” John promised, rubbing a soothing hand along Rodney’s back. “You're still here with me and I’m not going anywhere.” Slowly Rodney started to calm, melting into John’s arms. “It's a nice night out,” John commented after a while. “Let's go and have some beer on the pier, ok?”

“I drink beer?” Rodney asked in confusion, pulling away from the hug, and John turned to the small bar fridge in the corner of his room, and he simply smiled, throwing one of his jackets at Rodney.

“Put that on, and let’s get out of here,” he ordered before grabbing the beer and a worn flannelette shirt for himself. They walked towards the nearby transporter and in no time, they were sitting on the edge of the south pier, cracking open their beers as they gazed out over the moonlit ocean. They sat quietly for a while, before John finally spoke.

“What’s going through that brain of yours?” he asked softly, reaching out to lace his fingers through Rodney’s.

“I’m scared John,” Rodney admitted sadly. “Nat says it's going to get worse now, almost by the hour. In a week or so, I won't even remember my name… How about ... How about we say goodbye now?”

“No!” John bit back in a stern reply.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Rodney asked in confusion.

“I mean I'm not saying goodbye,” John clarified.

“Well, I'm saying it anyway!” Rodney argued.

“Well, I'm not listening!” John replied stubbornly.

“Yeah, but pretty soon I won't even know who you are!” Rodney explained.

“Then I'll remind you,” John promised.

“John, I don't want you to see me like that. I want you to remember me as I am… as your genius boyfriend, not as some ...”

John interrupted Rodney by pulling the scientist into a desperate kiss. He kissed him deeply, trying to show everything he was feeling that he couldn’t put into words. “I can’t,” he whispered sadly when they finally pulled apart. “I’m sorry Rodney, but I can’t say goodbye. I can’t think that I’m losing you. Please… Please don’t make me.” Rodney pulled him in for another bruising kiss, pushing John onto his back and rolling to lie on top of him. John moaned into the kiss, letting his hands drift to Rodney’s sides. He pushed at the hem of his shirt, slipping his hands underneath it, desperate for the feel of his skin.

“I love you,” John murmured against his lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Rodney replied softly, climbing to his feet and pulling John up with him. “What do you say we take this somewhere warmer?”

* * *

Natalie sat in the rear compartment of the jumper with her arm around Rodney’s shoulders, feeling defeated and broken. She knew this trip signalled the end of Rodney’s battle and she wasn’t ready to say goodbye, to admit that she had failed or to watch John fall apart. She didn’t know how either of them would survive losing this man who had become such a central part of their family, but she knew that with Ronon still avoiding her she would crumble. Just as that thought was crossing her mind, her husband stepped into the waiting jumper and headed straight for the cockpit.

“I thought you didn’t believe?” he asked gruffly as he passed her.

“I didn’t realise that was a prerequisite,” she sniped in reply, trying to hide how hurt she was that this was all he had to say to her after avoiding her for days.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Jeannie told her, sitting on the other side of Rodney and Natalie smiled sadly at her in response.

 

* * *

 ~TO BE CONTINUED~

* * *

 


	40. NATALIE/RODNEY/NATALIE [5x06]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x06 'THE SHRINE'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> conclusion to the previous chapter.

Natalie watched in concern as Rodney screamed, clutching at his head as both Jeannie and John grabbed hold of him. Her concern turned to shock when he stood up, looking at Jeannie and speaking clearly, in a way that sounded just like the old McKay.

“Jeanie?” he asked.

“I'm here, Mere,” she replied.

“Yeah, obviously,” Rodney sniped, bringing a smile to John’s face.

“He's back!” John announced before quickly pulling Rodney to his chest. “Thank god.”

“Will somebody please tell me what the hell we're all doing here?” Rodney finally asked in confusion, allowing John to hold him tightly as he leant his head on John’s shoulder, looking around the damp cave.

* * *

She stared at her brother in disbelief as he held up the power drill in the back of the jumper.

“You can’t be serious,” she asked incredulously. “You can't honestly expect me to operate with that.”

“Well, I've seen surgical drills,” John replied with a shrug. “They're not that much different.”

Natalie shook her head. “Fine,” she sighed. “Assuming we can open him up, I still have no way of knowing where the parasite has contracted to.” She watched him walk towards the cockpit, turning back to face her with a life signs detector in his hand. “That’s just not designed to do what I need it to do on the correct scale,” she argued.

“Well, we'll have Jeanie modify it,” John rebutted.

“No,” Nat maintained, “you don't understand. The radiation is compromising his immune system as we speak, which means if _I_ don't kill him, the infection he's bound to get by being operated on in a damp cave almost certainly will.”

“Look,” John sighed, finally showing the stress he was feeling in response to the situation, “if we don't do something, he's dead. You said it.”

“This is a terrible idea,” Natalie pointed out, before collecting everything she thought she might need and heading back towards the cave.

* * *

Rodney should have been used to John’s terrible ideas by now but somehow, the soldier still managed to surprise him. As soon as he and Nat had returned to the cave, John had started explaining their plan and Rodney wasted no time before he began complaining.

“Absolutely not!” he shouted.

“We're talking about saving your life!” Jeannie argued, as Rodney stomped over to John and snatched the drill out of his hand.

“My brain is not some new deck off the back of your house!” he spat.

 _“_ I'm not the one doing the surgery!” John snarked in reply.

“Yeah,” Rodney agreed before turning to face Natalie, “and as my parting advice Natalie, you need to stop letting your brother talk you into doing stupid things!

“I can do it,” Natalie promised.

“Really?” Rodney asked, his anger dissipating in the face of hope. He continued to put up some resistance to the plan for a few minutes before he finally accepted that it was their only option. Natalie quickly turned to her limited equipment and began preparing for the surgery. Rodney turned his attention to John as Jeannie set to work reconfiguring the life signs detector.

“John, before we do this,” Rodney said, stepping close to John so that their chests were pressed against each other, “I just need to say I love you.”

John didn’t reply, but simply closed the remaining space between them, kissing Rodney desperately. He revelled in the feel and taste of the man he loved, grateful to have him here with him, but also frightened of what they were about to attempt.

“John I’m scared,” Rodney whispered against the other man’s lips.

“It’s going to be ok,” John promised. “Nat’s going to get this thing out and then we can all go home.” Rodney didn’t reply, but instead he sank to the floor, pulling John with him until they were both sitting against the cave wall, wrapped in each other’s arms. “We’re going to go home,” John whispered against Rodney’s ear, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to sooth Rodney. They stayed like that as Natalie and Jeannie prepared for the surgery and when it was finally time, John held Rodney’s hand as Natalie administered the anaesthetic and his eyes closed.

* * *

The two Sheppard’s stared at each other from where they were sitting across from each other in the cave, an unconscious McKay lying between them.

“You sure you're ready for this?” Natalie asked her brother quietly. “I'm sure Teyla wouldn't mind helping me.”

“I'm fine Nat,” John replied. “A better question is; are you ready?”

Natalie looked from her makeshift surgical tools to Rodney's calm face before setting her shoulders and grabbing her scalpel.

“Here we go,” she murmured, before raising her voice to explain to John. “Ok, I need you to hold him as still as you can.”

John nodded and Natalie began making the first incision in Rodney’s forehead, missing the brief grimace that flashed across John’s face. After opening the cut, Nat picked up the industrial drill and took a deep breath. She began to drill into the bone, carefully pushing further, but very aware that unlike surgical drills, this one would not automatically stop when the breached the skull. Once she felt the resistance lessen she withdrew the drill bit and then watched with worry as Rodney began to convulse.

“Hold him steady,” she told John, “I didn’t think I had, but I must have gone too far.”

“I’m trying,” John replied as he strengthened his grip on Rodney’s head and Nat picked up the life signs detector from where it had been resting on his chest.

“The parasite’s moving,” Natalie noted.

“Well, maybe it knows we're going after it,” John reasoned.

“I don't think so,” Nat countered. “I think it instinctually wants to get away from the radiation source -- and we've just shown it the way out.” She continued to watch the life signs detector for a moment before turning to look over her shoulder at her husband. “Ronon, we’re going to need that gun of yours in about 10 seconds.”

She turned back to face Rodney and watched in horrified fascination as a place tendrilled creature wormed its way out of the incision she had made on his forehead. She grabbed it with a pair of forceps and then threw it on the floor on the other side of the cave. Ronon quickly aimed his weapon and fired at the creature, obliterating it.  

“You could have just stepped on it!” John told the taller man.

“She told me to shoot it,” Ronon defended himself.

“It's clear!” Natalie announced happily, looking from the detector and then to John. “Give me a minute to patch this up and then let’s get out of here.”

Once she had closed the wound and packed away her equipment she turned to Ronon.

“He’s going to be unconscious for at least another hour or so,” she told him. “Can you carry him back to the jumper?”

Ronon nodded but reached out a hand to catch her arm before she could walk away.

“You did a good job,” he told her.

“Thanks,” she whispered softly. “Let’s just hope it wasn’t too late.”

* * *

Natalie was sitting in her office, her door opened and her chair positioned so that she could see Rodney’s hospital bed from where she was sitting. He had woken a few hours after their return to Atlantis the previous night and much to her relief had passed her preliminary tests. He and John had spent the night curled up in each other’s arms, and Nat had slept her desk, wanting to remain nearby in case they needed her. She was staring at her computer, not really seeing it when a small body ran into the room and crashed into her legs.

“MOMMY!” Kai yelled enthusiastically as she struggled to climb up in Nat’s lap. Nat smiled warmly down out her daughter, scooping her up and placing her on her lap.

“Hey baby girl,” she replied as the little girl wrapped her arms around her others neck in a tight hug.

“She missed you,” Ronon mumbled gruffly from the doorway, and Natalie looked up sharply at the sound of his voice. “So, do I,” he added.

“Kai, why don’t you go see Uncle Rodney and Uncle John?” Natalie suggested. “They’re having breakfast, so if you’re lucky they might share their yoghurt with you.”

The little girl beamed up at her mother before jumping down to the floor and running off towards her uncles. Once she passed him, Ronon stepped into the room, slowly approaching his wife.

“You didn’t come home last night,” he told her. “You haven’t slept in our bed for over a week.”

“I wanted to stay close, in case Rodney needed me,” Nat explained. “And I didn’t know if I’d be welcome at home to be honest.”

“When are you going to forgive me, and let me back in?” Ronon asked, stepping close to Natalie but leaving enough gap to not be towering over her where she sat.

“Forgive you?” Nat asked in confusion. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? You were right. The shrine was real and if I’d just listened we could have helped Rodney so much sooner. I understand why you were so mad at me, but please just tell me how to fix this. I miss you.”

“I’m not mad at you, Nat,” Ronon explained. “I’ve been avoiding you all week because I thought you were mad at me. I questioned your ability to do your job, and I undermined you in front of everyone. I thought that’s why you wouldn’t come home.”

“No,” Natalie replied, standing quickly to pull Ronon close. “God no.” They held each other closely for a while before Natalie spoke again. “We’re idiots.”

“Yes, we are,” Ronon chuckled. “Let’s go join the party,” he added, motioning towards where John was sitting beside Rodney’s bed, with Kai on his lap as they all shared their breakfast.


	41. RONON/NATALIE/RODNEY/NATALIE [5x09]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x09 'TRACKER'

“I’ve got to ask McKay,” Ronon began, looking across the table at where Rodney was sitting, eyeing is stew dubiously. “Why did you come with us? I mean, I’m sure you have better things to do with your time.”

“I, uh… I’m proving a point I guess,” Rodney replied with embarrassment. “John said he thought I was selfish, so here I am, helping sick people.”

Ronon smiled at his friend’s response and shook his head. Still baffled by their relationship even after more than a year.

“Speaking of John, how do you think he’s going?” Ronon chuckled. Rodney joined him in laughing as the two imagine the chaos that must be ensuing back on Atlantis with John babysitting Kai.

“I’m sure they’re having a nice, relaxing day,” Rodney replied seriously, before he dissolved into more laughter. 

“We should probably go see what’s taking Nat so long,” Ronon added, and the pair both stood up and made their way out of the tavern.

* * *

Natalie woke with a start to find herself on the forest floor and the base of a large tree with her hands bound in front of her with coarse rope. She noticed her radio was gone and struggled for a moment, testing the bindings but was unable to shift them and only succeeded in chaffing the skin on her hands and wrists. Reaching down to her right leg, she found her thigh holster empty and let out an angry grunt.

“If you’d stopped struggling, I wouldn’t have had to stun you,” a man told her in response to her movements. Natalie looked at him closely as he stopped rifling through her medical bags and walked over to her. He was tall, broad shouldered and well-muscled. His clothes were made of well-worn hand sewn leather and she noted multiple weapons strapped to him.

“Who are you?” she asked him, gritting her teeth against the anger she felt welling within her. “What do you want with me?”

“Stop asking questions,” the man replied gruffly.

“I just want know why you kidnapped me,” Nat continued sternly, glaring at the man. “How did you take me from the village? I don't even remember ...” Her sentence trailed off as he drew a wraith stunner from his own thigh holster and levelled it at her.

“Good,” he commented when she remained silent. “Let's go.”

Natalie grunted as she was hauled to her feet, and only started walking after he shoved her roughly in the back. They walked in silence for nearly an hour before her captor placed a hand on her shoulder and roughly pushed her to the ground until she was once again sitting at the base of a tree.

“This is as far as we go on the trail,” he announced.

“Where are you taking me?” Natalie asked. “At least tell me your name.” The man continued to ignore her and Natalie was preparing her next line of questioning when she heard a rustling nearby.  “Ronon?” she hissed loudly, but stared in horror when a wraith appeared, aiming a stunner at the mysterious man.

“On your six!” Natalie called out in warning, watching in shock as he disappeared, quickly reappearing behind the wraith and cutting off its head.

“What is that thing?” Natalie asked, as the man once again pulled her to her feet and forced her to begin walking.

“It'd take too long to explain,” he replied.

“Too long?” Natalie asked with a humourless laugh. “We've been walking for hours now. Can I at least rest for a few minutes?”

“A few minutes to allow your team to gain ground on us?” he asked.

“What team?” Natalie replied, playing dumb to ascertain how much this man knew.

“You're from Atlantis. You're a doctor. There were two men travelling with you,” he explained and Natalie took advantage of the moment to pull free of him, sprinting off into the forest. She didn’t get very far before he was suddenly in front of her. He aimed his stunner at her and she felt the world go dark.

* * *

As the last of the villagers entered the cave system, Rodney turned back to Ronon and noticed the bigger man looking agitated and ready to act. “Hey. Maybe we should go back to the Gate?”

“Go ahead,” Ronon replied. “I'm going to keep tracking Nat.”

“I don’t think it is wise for us to split up right now,” Rodney rebutted. “We have no idea where the Wraith are.”

“It takes too long to go back. That Runner took her. If we let them get too far ahead, we'll never find them. Look, if you want to go to the Gate, go ahead, but I'm leaving.”

Rodney sighed in defeat as Ronon stalked away from him and he ran after him.

“Ronon,” he yelled, “Dammit! Will you just ...? Ronon, wait!”

“I’m not slowing down for you McKay,” Ronon yelled gruffly without stopping. “My wife is out there and I’m not letting you get in my way.”

_\----_

Natalie opened her eyes again, blinking against the light and trying to get her bearings. Once again, she was on the ground with her hands still bound in front of her.

“Are you done trying to escape?” her captor asked her, hauling her to her feet when she nodded. “More Wraith close by,” he told her. “We need to keep moving.”

“You're not from the village, are you?” Natalie asked as they walked. “I've never noticed you, and I've pretty much met everyone. Are you even from this planet? You're the one who brought the Wraith here. They're after you. Why?”

“I'm a Runner,” he finally said. “You know about Runners?”

Natalie looked at him with dawning understanding. “One of the men I’m travelling with,” she explained, “my husband. He used to be one.”

“Used to be?” the runner asked in disbelief, pulling them to a stop. “That's impossible. Runners don't stop being Runners.”

“Yeah? Well, he did,” Natalie bit back as she glared at him.

“Yeah? Well, how?” the runner asked.

“Take me to him and we'll tell you,” Nat offered. “I promise. Look, we don't have to be enemies.”

“Nice try,” he spat, pushing her forwards as they continued walking.

After walking for a few hours Natalie decided to break the silence. “You ever thought about trying to remove that tracking device?” she asked.

“You could say that,” the runner replied. “I had a few doctors try. No luck.”

“I have advanced medical technology with me,” Natalie explained. “So, I could probably remove it. My husband, that Runner I was telling you about, I removed his tracking device. That's how he was able to stop being a Runner.”

“You have something in here that can remove it?” the runner asked as he held up her medical kit.

“I have a scanner. With that, I can pinpoint the location of your tracking device, give you some anaesthetic, make a quick incision… you're free of it.” The runner looked doubtful, so Natalie continued before he could object. “Look, you say there's someone who needs medical attention. It's going to be a lot safer for all of us if we throw the Wraith off your trail before we get there.”

With a resigned sigh he stopped walking, dropping the bags to the ground before cutting Natalie lose. As soon as her hands were free she pulled the ancient scanner from her bag and ordered him to turn around. Natalie stared intently at the screen of the tablet as she passed the scanner over the back of the runner’s neck and back. The scanner beeped as it passed over the tracking device and Natalie’s face fell.

“Do you see it?” he asked, as Nat turned off the scanner. “What did you see?”

“Your tracking device,” Nat began. “It's different to Ronon’s. It's much more complicated. It's branched out… fused not only to your spine but also to your brain stem. Removing it would kill you. I'm sorry.”

“We need to get moving,” he replied emotionlessly, picking up the bags once again and started to walk, Natalie jogged to catch up before falling into step with him.

Night had fallen by the time they had reached the cave, and Natalie was kneeling beside a small girl who was about 8 or 9 years old. She had finished debriding the wound and was waiting for the young girl to wake. When she finally opened her eyes, Natalie smiled softly down at her, squeezing her hand comfortingly.

“Hey there,” she said softly. “It’s ok. I’m here to help you. I gave you some medicine to numb your leg. Do you feel any pain?”

She shook her head, but clutched her homemade doll closely to her as she stared at Natalie. Nat reached out and started to stroke her hand gently over the girl’s forehead, the same way she did with Kai, when the toddler was upset or sick. The action seemed to calm the girl a little and she finally spoke.

“Where's Kiryk?” she whispered.

“Kiryk. So that's his name,” Nat mumbled. “He's just outside, keeping watch and making sure you're safe, Ok?... That's a beautiful doll,” Nat offered.

“Kiryk made it for me,” the girl explained.

“Wow, mean old Kiryk, huh?” Nat scoffed.

“He's not mean,” the girl replied. “He just pretends to be.”

“I know someone just like him,” Nat told her, thinking fondly of how Ronon’s tough exterior melted away when he was dealing with Kai.

After sitting with Celise for a while, Natalie finally excused herself to go outside in search of Kiryk. Once she did, she explained the girls conditioned and begged the man to let her take Celise back to Atlantis with her. While they were discussing her future, they were interrupted by a rustling sound, and Kiryk quickly pushed Nat into the nearby bushes.

“Give me a weapon and let me help,” she hissed, but was ignored as he disappeared and 2 wraith arrived. Natalie watched on as the runner killed both wraith before a third appeared and stunned him. Without a weapon, she knew she stood no chance, so remained hidden, biding her time. Natalie watched in horror as the wraith’s head snapped up towards the cave entrance in response to Celise calling out for Kiryk. As the wraith stalked forwards into the cave, Nat surged forward and grabbing the runner’s short sword before creeping into the cave. The wraith was standing over Celise, most likely preparing to feed as Nat stealthily creeped up behind it, driving the sword straight through its abdomen. As the creature fell to the floor, Natalie rushed forward, cradling Celise against her and soothing the young girl.

“Sweetheart,” she said. “We have to get you somewhere safe, ok? I’m going to carry you and we’re going to get out of here.”

“What about Kiryk?” Celise asked.

“Once I get you somewhere safe, I’ll come back and get Kiryk. I promise,” Natalie replied, before hefting the girl up in her arms and leaving the cave.

* * *

They had been walking for at least an hour, if not more when they reached a small cliff edge. After placing Celise on the ground. Kiryk was turning to scout out a safe way down, when Ronon appeared out of nowhere, tackling Kiryk to the ground.

“Ronon?” Natalie yelled in shock. “Ronon, wait!” Rodney suddenly appeared at her side as the two runner’s fought. “Watch her,” Natalie told Rodney, before clambering down the rock face towards the men. “Ronon, STOP!” she continued to yell. As she reached them, both men pulled out their weapons; Ronon his gun, and Kiryk the large knife.

They paused for a brief moment, each with their weapon pressed to others throat.

“STOP!” Nat yelled, placing a hand on both their shoulders. “Ronon, you can’t kill him,” she begged. “He didn’t hurt me, he just wanted be to help the little girl. She’s dying, Ronon. We need to get her back to Atlantis. Ronon, Please.” When her husband still didn’t move to lower his weapon, she continued. “If it was Kai. If she was dying, I know you would have done the same, please.”

At Natalie’s mention of their daughter, Ronon finally lowered his gun, stepping back from Kiryk as the other man lowered his blade.

“Are you ok?” he asked, stepping towards his wife.

“I’m fine,” she smiled, allowing Ronon to pull her into a hug, relaxing within the comfort of his arms. “We need to get out of here.”

“Yeah,” Ronon agreed, finally letting her go, “let’s go home.” As Kiryk stepped forward to pick up Celise, a wraith charged out of the tree line. “Wraith!” Ronon shouted, already preparing to fight. As the two men fought, another wraith surged forward, pinning Rodney against the rock face. With no other weapon, Nat picked up a large branch of the ground and hit the wraith across the back. She succeeded in drawing its attention away from Rodney but now it was advancing on her. As she fought she yelled.

“Shoot it, McKay!”

“I’m trying,” she heard him yell back in panic as he finally loaded a new clip into his side arm, firing repeatedly until the wraith finally collapsed to the ground.

Once the last of the wraith were dead Natalie turned to Kiryk. “Do you think I could have my side arm back now?” she asked, panting heavily from the fight.

* * *

It was late at night by the time Natalie left the infirmary and returned to her quarters. When she arrived, Kai was sleeping soundly in her room, and Ronon was lying in their bed, eyes closed and his face peaceful. Natalie undressed quietly, slipping into the bed gently, trying not to wake him. As she settled next to him on the bed, he turned his head, opening his eyes to stare at her in the soft light peeking through the curtains.

“I thought you were asleep,” she whispered softly.

“Just waiting for you,” he said as she rolled over until she was pressed against him, her head cushioned on his chest as his arms wrapped around her.

“I wanted to make sure Celise was settled before I left for the night,” Nat explained, her eyelids growing heavy as Ronons hand rubbed soothing circles in her back. Ronon remained silent for a while, trailing his hand up and down her back. “You ok?” Nat finally asked.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” he finally admitted, his hand stilling.

“Hey,” Natalie said, rolling until she was lying on top of him, looking him in the yes. “I’m right here.”

“Yes, you are,” he replied, pulling her closer and kissing her deeply.


	42. NATALIE/JOHN [5x10/5x11]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x10 'FIRST CONTACT' & 5x11 'THE LOST TRIBE'

Natalie looked up from her book when Ronon walked into their quarters.

“Hey, you,” she greeted with a smile, putting her book aside and gesturing for her husband to join her on the small sofa. “I was just thinking about you.”

“Nothing bad I hope,” Ronon replied as he pulled her against him, kissing her briefly before they settled against each other comfortably.

“No, nothing bad,” Natalie promised, resting her head against his chest as they sat side by side. “Just something I’ve been thinking about for a while now and wanted to run it by you.” She paused for a moment, but continued when Ronon remained quiet, waiting. “I think I want to have another baby.” When Ronon didn’t reply, Nat lifted her head, turning to look at him. “Is that something you want to?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yes,” Ronon replied gruffly, suddenly pulling Natalie into a deep, passionate kiss. When they finally pulled apart for air, Nat chuckled softly.

“Maybe we should get started on that right away,” she joked, before leaning back in to continue the kiss. She moved until she was sitting in her husband’s lap, her legs straddling his hips as his hands roamed over her back. They pulled back from the kiss long enough to strip each other of their shirts before Ronon’s lips were on her throat. “Wait,” she panted, “Where’s Kai?”

“With John and McKay,’ Ronon replied quickly as he continued to mouth at her collarbone. “Said they’d take her for the afternoon. We have a few hours before anyone needs us.”

“Perfect,” Nat replied, pushing his shoulders until he slid sideways, lying along the length of the sofa beneath her.

_“Dr Sheppard to the control room, please. Dr Sheppard to the control room.”_

“For fucks sake,” Natalie cursed and Ronon chuckled beneath her as she leant her forehead against his chest. After catching her breath she reluctantly stood and pulled on her shirt, looking down at a dishevelled Ronon. “We’ll pick this up again later,” she promised before leaving the room.

* * *

Ronon found Natalie in the infirmary as medical staff bustled around her, moving and packing equipment.

“Hey,” Ronon greeted, walking up behind her and placing his hands on her waist. “John just told me about Todd’s request.”

“If we can convince them to let us test the therapy on them it’s going to be huge,” Nat replied excitedly, stooping to pick up a bag.

“Let me get that,” Ronon offered, taking the bag from her hand and they both left the infirmary. “I think I should come with you on this,” he added as they walked.

“Really?” Nat asked, “Why?”

“I don't really trust these guys,” Ronon grunted.

The corners of Nat’s mouth twitched as she fought the urge to smile. “You don't trust Todd and his Wraith, or the entire crew of the Daedalus to protect me if something goes wrong?”

“I don't know,” Ronon shrugged. “Both, I guess.”

In response, Natalie’s face split in a grin.

“What?” Ronon asked.

“Nothing!” Nat replied.

“What?” Ronon repeated.

Nat chuckled, but refused to reply as they walked.

* * *

John stared in shock at the hole in the floor, leaning forward to look down the shaft as the intruders disappeared below.

“What's at the bottom of this tower?” he asked.

“Rodney,” Teyla replied with a look of dread on her face.

John stood still for a moment, feeling the blood drain from his face as he stared at Teyla, then he was off running, keying his radio as he went.

“Rodney, this is Sheppard,” he called. “Come in… Rodney!”

 _“What's up?”_ came Rodney’s relaxed reply.

John reached the transporter, bouncing on his toes as he waited for the doors to close. “Get out of there right now!” he ordered Rodney.

_“Why?”_

Exiting the transporter, John was once again running, Teyla and a team of marines on his heels. Rounding a corner, he found one of the alien intruders standing in front of them. They opened fire, but the alien engaged a shield which deflected their shots. Behind it, two more aliens emerged through the concealed doorway, and John growled with anger when he saw them dragging Rodney and Daniel’s unconscious bodies across the floor. He kept firing on them, but was left to watch on helplessly as the aliens departed, taking the two doctors with them.

“Control Room, what's the status of that ship?” he called out over the radio.

 _“I’m sorry, Colonel,”_ Amelia replied. _“They’re gone.”_

* * *

Nat was sitting at computer running simulations in a lab on board the Daedalus when Ronon burst into the room.

“Come on, we’ve got to go,” he told her.

“Why?” Natalie asked in confusion. “What's going on?”

Ronon stepped up to her side, grabbing her arm and pulling her with him. “We’re under attack,” he explained. “We’ve got to get you to the armoury and give you a gun. Come on.”

They took off running down the corridors before doors started sliding shut, sealing them off from the armoury.

* * *

John leaned against the desk as the video feed cut to black, his head hanging in momentary defeat. “We’re going to need a plan to get our people back,” he announced, not lifting his head until he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He looked up to find Teyla standing next to him, her eyes filled with compassion.

“We will bring them home, John,” she promised solemnly.

“God, I hope so,” he murmured, standing up and heading to a nearby computer terminal. Unsure of how to get his people back, including his sister, Ronon and Rodney, but certain that he would try everything.

An hour later they were no closer to a solution when a traveller ship arrived above the planet, giving them the first glimpse of hope since the aliens had arrived.

Once aboard the ship, John found himself on the bridge, familiarising himself with the ships controls and weapons in preparation for their arrival.

* * *

Meanwhile, back on the Daedalus, Nat and Ronon had made their way to the engineering room, and were taking in the array of controls.

“This won’t take long,” Ronon said as Natalie looked around at the various control panels.

“So, what do we do?” she asked. “Bring up the main control systems and disable them one by one?”

“That's one way to go,” Ronon agreed.

“Well, you'd have to lock them out of the mainframe, though,” Nat continued, “otherwise they could just turn them back on again. Do you have some sort of a pass code to make sure they're locked out once and for all?”

“Nope,” Ronon replied casually, opening a control panel, out of which a tray of control crystals slid.

“Well, then, what are you thinking?” Nat asked in exasperation, jumping slightly when Ronon shot the crystal tray. “Of course, that’s your plan,” she yelled as he continued opening panels at random and shooting them. “Would you stop? What if you take out life support?”

“Relax,” Ronon told her, “Life support is that one… I think.”

“Well consider me reassured,” Nat bit back. “Look, we’re out of hyperspace, that’s enough. Let’s go.”

Ronon shrugged, firing at one more tray before following Natalie out the door. As they made their way through the halls of the ship Todd’s voice came over the intercom system.

_“It has come to my attention that someone from the original crew has eluded capture. Your freedom has become a nuisance. Turn yourself in immediately or we will begin killing off your friends, one by one. You have three minutes to comply.”_

As the intercom fell silent, the pair shared a look.

“He’s bluffing,” Ronon grunted.

“No, he’s not,” Nat argued, turning to head through a nearby door.

“Where are you going?” Ronon asked her.

“I’m turning myself in,” Nat explained.

“No, you’re not,” Ronon said, stepping closer to her.

“He’s going to start killing people, Ronon,” Natalie reasoned. “You know I can’t stand by and let that happen.”

“He’s going to kill you,” Ronon spat angrily.

“Well, I’m kind of hoping he doesn’t,” Nat replied.

“We need to get armed, free these people and take this ship back,” Ronon countered.

“Exactly,” Nat agreed. “I turn myself in and he'll think he's got us all. It buys you the time you need to do what you've got to do.”

“No!” Ronon replied sternly. “No, I'm not letting you do it, Nat. It’s too much of a risk.”

“Ronon listen,” Nat begged before Ronon cut her off.

“Natalie. No,” he stated, with a firmness in his voice that told her she would not win this fight.

The couple stared at each other for a few moments, before Natalie finally dropped her head in defeat. “Ok,” she finally accepted. “We’ll do this your way.”

“Good,” Ronon grunted, “Come on.”

As soon as he turned his back to lead the way to armoury, Nat took off running for the bridge, closing the door behind her. She didn’t make it far before she encountered wraith soldiers and surrendered. They took her to the bridge and as they entered, she straightened her back, holding her head high as she was brought to stand before Todd.

“Dr Sheppard,” Todd began, “Why am I not surprised that you are at the route of our problems?”

“I guess I’m just reliable like that,” Nat snarked in reply.

“Ah, how I have missed that Sheppard charm,” Todd replied sarcastically. “You know it foolish of you to see me as the enemy.”

“Really?” Nat asked in disbelief. “Why's that?”

“I'm on a mission from your brother, Colonel Sheppard.” Todd explained.

“I seriously doubt that,” Nat retorted.

“Hmm, it is a long story,” Todd admitted, “But he has requested that we neutralise a very dangerous target. The mission, however, is time-sensitive and you have handed us a major setback. Hyperdrive, weapons, shields… they are all down.”

“That's a real shame,” Natalie responded insincerely.

“It is,” Todd insisted, “considering that hundreds of thousands of humans could die because of it. I would think that would weigh heavily on you in the future.”

Nat felt her face pale at his words. “What are you talking about?” she asked him nervously, but Todd was interrupted from explaining by another wraith informing him that the hyperdrive was back online, but that weapons were irreparably damaged.

“I guess you won't be able to finish the mission, then,” Natalie pointed out unsympathetically.

“Oh, we'll find a way,” Todd promised, and Nat was hauled from the room and marched down the hall under guard.

As they walked down the hallway, Natalie suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of Ronon’s gun, and then one of the wraith escorting her dropped to the ground. She quickly moved away from the second soldier, turning to see her husband drop down from the ceiling, quickly taking the P-90 he offered her before taking aim at the approaching wraith.

“Thanks for the save,” Natalie said when the last of the wraith were dead. Ronon levelled her with a glare in reply before stomping over to her.

“What is with you Sheppard’s and sacrificing yourselves?” he asked rhetorically before kissing her.

“It’s probably the hero complex,” Natalie joked, receiving an eye roll from Ronon before they both headed off down the hallway towards where the others were being held captive.

* * *

Natalie squeezed her eyes shut as the ship shook in the planet’s atmosphere and the surface neared, but after a moment, nothing happened. Opening her eyes slowly, she blinked in confusion at the open space in front of her, another ship floating nearby.

“What just happened,” Natalie heard Woolsey ask.

 _“You’re welcome,”_ John replied over the coms.

Natalie sighed with relief as John and Woolsey continued to discuss the situation, before Marks announced he had control of the ship again and had located Rodney and Daniels signals on the planet’s surface.

“Beam them straight to the infirmary,” Natalie ordered, already running from the bridge to meet them there.  

Once she arrived, Daniel and Rodney were beamed aboard and Nat caught sight of McKay, smiling warmly at him.

“Glad to see you again,” she told him.

“You too,” he replied. “He’s hurt really bad,” he added, motioning to Daniel on the floor. “Help him.”

“I will,” Nat promised, focusing her attention on the injured doctor in front of her.

* * *

Natalie was exhausted when they finally reached Atlantis, she radioed down her report on Dr Jackson, and then stepped back as he was beamed directly to the infirmary for Dr Palmer to take over his care. After his departure, she made her way to the bridge of the Daedalus where Ronon was waiting for her. She stepped into his waiting arms, relaxing against him as she felt her eyes drift close for a moment.  She stood up straight again when Woolsey joined them on the bridge with Rodney and announced that they would be beamed down to the gate room momentarily.

When they found themselves back in Atlantis, Nat was relieved to find John beamed in beside them and he quickly moved to hug her and then Rodney.

“Thank god you two are alive,” he murmured as he stepped back from them.

“Thanks to you,” Nat admitted, as Teyla approached them, a warm smile lighting up her face. She placed her forehead against each of theirs in turn, welcoming them all home. “Teyla?” Natalie asked.

“Kai is in the recreation room with Kanan and Torren,” Teyla answered the silent question and without another word, both Ronon and Natalie left the room.

Kai looked up a soon as they entered the rec room, her face splitting with a blinding smile when she caught sight of her parents. Abandoning her game with Kanan, she ran towards them.

“MOMMY! DADDY!” she squealed in delight as she threw herself into Natalie’s arms and Ronon pulled them both towards him.

“Hey muffin,” Natalie replied as she placed kisses all over the little girl’s face, causing her to squirm and giggle. “We missed you so much.”

* * *

Later that night, after all the post mission reports had been filed, John collapsed on his bed, exhausted. His eyes were just starting to drop when his door chimed and he groaned as he hauled himself to his feet. A smile graced his lips as the door slid open to reveal Rodney, stepping aside to let the scientist into his room. Rodney was dressed in a pair sweats and his favourite ‘I’m with genius’ shirt, that john recognised as his pyjamas and once inside John’s room he made a beeline to the bed.

“I didn’t want to sleep alone,” he explained as he climbed into the bed, waiting for John to join him before pulling the covers up around them both. John pulled him close until they were a tangle of limbs and Rodney’s head was pillowed on his chest.

“I came to check on you in the infirmary but you were talking to Daniel, so I decided to leave you be,” John clarified. “I knew you’d come find me if you needed me. I’m glad you did.”

“Always need you,” Rodney muttered sleepily.

“I love you,” John told him, and he suppressed a chuckled when he realised that Rodney was already asleep. Listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, he let the rise and fall of Rodney’s chest lull him to sleep as well, grateful that once again they had survived and were all home safe.


	43. JOHN/NATALIE/RONON

John was a little surprised to find Natalie in the gym when he arrived, but grew concerned the longer he watched her swinging at the punching bag. He had spent enough hours punching the exact same bag, trying to get out all his pent-up aggression, to be able to recognise the same behaviour in his sister. She was sweating profusely and the exhaustion was clear in the set of her shoulders, leading John to conclude that she had been at it for some time. The tension in her muscles also helped him to recognise the anger in her movements.  He stepped up to bag, holding it steady as she continued to punch, her face clenched together in anger. She didn’t speak at first, and John simply waited, watching her and taking note of the dried tear-tracks on her cheeks.

“You want to talk about it?” he finally asked.

“Nothing to talk about,” she grunted, not stopping her relentless attack. “Just working out.”

“You can’t con a con-artist, Nat,” John replied calmly, trying to catch his sisters eye. “I’ve spent enough time trying to punch away the anger to know you’re doing the same thing, so spill.”

“I don’t… want to… talk… about it,” she spat, interspersing her words with more hits, and John absently thought about how impressed he was with the improvements she had made. She was much stronger and her punches far more effective than they had ever been.

“Fine,” John replied. “Guess I’ll just have to stand here, annoying the crap out of you until you give in.”

Natalie sighed in defeat, stepping back from the bag and letting her arms drop to her side. Her muscles trembled, showcasing how far beyond her limits she had gone in her bid to free herself of her emotions. She slumped against the nearby wall, and slid down until she was sitting with her knees to her chest and her head cushioned in her hands. John sat beside her, not pushing, but waiting for her to talk to him.

“Ronon and I have been trying to have another baby,” she finally explained. “I’ve run every test I can on both of us. There’s no medical reason why we are having so much trouble this time and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

John quickly wrapped his arms around his little sister, pulling her tightly against his chest. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he promised.

“Then why am I not pregnant?” Natalie asked with a sob, burying her face on her brother’s chest.

“I don’t know, Tal,” John murmured, placing a kiss to the top of her head. “What does Ronon think?”

“We haven’t really talked about,” Nat admitted. “At least not about how much it’s killing me. Logically I know we’ve only been trying for a few months and sometimes it takes a while but that doesn’t stop me feeling like there’s something wrong with me.”

“Well, I’m no doctor,” John replied softly, “but maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I’m sure stress can’t be helping, maybe if you just relax a bit it will happen.”

 “Yeah,” Natalie scoffed in reply to John’s suggestion, “because this job is so conducive to relaxation.”

“I know,” John agreed. “Maybe we could all do with a vacation.”

* * *

“Do I look burnt to you?” Rodney asked and Natalie smiled, her eyes still closed as she reclined on a banana lounge.

“We’ve only been here a few hours Rodney,” she replied, “and we’re in the shade.”

“I burn easily,” Rodney defended himself. “Will you please just look?”

Nat continued to smile good naturedly, finally opening her eyes and looking over to where Rodney was sitting next to her. “You’re fine,” she promised, turning to look across the sandy beach in front of them.

“I can’t believe John talked me into spending 2 weeks in the tropics,” Rodney complained.

“Rodney,” Nat sighed. “It’s Hawaii. Enjoy it.”

Rodney continued to mutter to himself, but Natalie tuned him out as she watched Ronon and John playing with Kai down at the water’s edge, feeling the stress of the last few months draining away. After her breakdown in the gym the previous week, she had expected John to organise some leave for herself and Ronon but had been surprised when he announced that they had all been given 14 days on earth. John had taken care of organising everything and they had flown straight here from Colorado the previous day. The Daedalus was scheduled to beam them aboard in 2 weeks before beginning it’s 3-week trip back to Atlantis, and Natalie planned to make the most of their time by relaxing and enjoying the uninterrupted 14 days with her family. She was vaguely aware that Rodney was still complaining about UV exposure when she leant her head back on the lounge and closed her eyes as the cool sea breeze blew over them. She hadn’t realised she had fallen asleep until a small wet and sandy body was climbing over her and an equally wet hand was placed on her cheek.

“Mommy?” a small voice asked as her eyes fluttered open. “It’s not nap time, it’s lunch time!”

“It’s always nap time when you’re on vacation,” Nat replied as she sat up, cradling Kai against her chest.

“No,” Kai giggled. “No naps, just play time!”

“Well that too,” Nat agreed. “But you were saying something about lunch?”

“Yup,” Kai nodded, her expression turning serious, causing Natalie’s smile to grow. “Daddy and Uncle John told me to come get you and uncle Rodney.”

As if summoned by Kai’s mentioning of them, Ronon and John appeared between the two lounge chairs, having walked up from the water’s edge much slower than the excited 3-year-old. Ronon reached out a hand, helping Natalie to her feet as Kai slipped to the ground. She ran around the adults with overwhelming energy as John also helped Rodney to his feet and then they all made their way off the beach, heading towards one of the many restaurants in the resort where they were staying.

After finding a table and ordering their food, the four adults discussed their plans for their vacation, agreeing that while there were a few sights they all wanted to see, for the most part they all just wanted to lay back and relax.

“Do you think the Daedalus would be willing to make two pickups, before heading back to Pegasus?” Natalie asked towards the end of their lunch.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind,” John shrugged. “Why?”

“I was thinking I might go see Dave before we head home,” Nat replied. “Maybe spend the last day or two before the Daedalus arrives.”

“Dave?” Rodney asked, looking from Nat to John. “As in your brother?”

“Yeah, we’ve been emailing a bit since dad’s funeral,” Nat explained. “So, I’d like to visit him before we leave again.”

John nodded in reply, and Natalie felt a brief moment of sadness that he hadn’t offered to join her. She pushed her disappointment aside, but vowed to herself that she would try harder to heal the rift between her brothers.

“Speaking of side trips,” Rodney interrupted, “Nat I was hoping I could ask you for a favour and steal you away for a day at the end of the week.”

“What do you need Rodney?” Nat asked, intrigued as to what this favour would involve.

“Well…” Rodney began suddenly nervous. “See, one of my old ... this guy who was doing his doctorate the same time as me, he's giving a big secret presentation about some new thing that he's working on, and everyone and anyone in the physics community's going to be there and ... well ... see the thing is, there's this perception out there that, uh, I'm, um... like a washout recluse.”

“Why’s that?” Ronon asked.

“Because of Atlantis,” Rodney explained. “I mean, super double tip-top secret stuff. I mean, I haven't published a paper in nearly a decade … not one that could be read by the general public. And I'm kind of hard to get a hold of, what with living in another galaxy and all. They think I'm a shut-in. So, I was thinking that, um, if I was to, say, show up with a woman ...”

Natalie smirked as Rodney’s plan became clear to her. “Uh-huh,” she said, prompting him to continue.

“A _beautiful_ woman ...” he stammered, “that, um, they would maybe not think that I was ... like, a complete loser. It'd be, like, one day and then we’d be back here before you knew it. I mean, it could be fun.”

“So, let me get this right” Nat replied. “You’re asking me to pretend to be your girlfriend so that your scientist friends think you’re a success despite the fact that you have a cute boyfriend.”

“Oh, you can have him,” John smirked. “There’s no way I’m going to this thing.”

“You don’t have too,” Rodney added.

“I’d love to,” Nat answered. “It sounds like it could be fun.”

Rodney visibly sagged with a relieved sigh as conversation returned to lighter topics.

* * *

Ronon stared down at his wife, laid out on the bed beneath him.

“Are you sure you and John will be fine with Kai tomorrow?” she asked and he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, Nat,” he sighed. “It’s one day. We will be fine. Just let yourself have fun and don’t worry about us.”

He leaned down to kiss her, but when he finally pulled away again to breathe, he hadn’t succeeded in distracting her.

“I’m not sure how much fun I’ll have,” she replied. “A room full of Rodney’s.”

Ronon laughed at the idea, placing soft kisses along her jaw.

“But you get to mess with them,” he reminded her. “Imagine how confused they’ll be that McKay has a beautiful woman on his arm. You’ll have to pick their chins up of the floor.”

“Oh, you think I’m pretty?” she asked jokingly.

“I think you’re the most gorgeous woman in two galaxies,” he replied, enjoying the blush that began on her cheeks, before spreading down her neck and across her bare chest.

“I think you might be a little biased,” Nat pointed out, leaning up off the bed to capture his lips, silencing anymore compliments he might give. He moaned as her hands trailed down his sides, coming to rest on his hips as he used his entire body to press her into the bed.

“I love you,” he told her when they finally separated, breathing heavily, their lips still touching.

“I love you, too,” Nat responded, also breathing heavily as they moved together.


	44. NATALIE/RODNEY [5x16]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter occur during 5x16 'BRAINSTORM'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken me 6 months to update this story, I went back to uni and then when classes finished a few months ago I just couldn't find the inspiration to start writing again but i'm back! I only have to more episodes from season 5 that I want to cover for this story and I have been toying with the idea of writing a sequel of what happened to the team when Atlantis landed on earth. Please let me know if that's something you'd be interested in.

Natalie rolled her eyes. “Just sign it Rodney,” she ordered, handing him a pen. With a heavy sigh, Rodney signed the confidentiality agreement and then Natalie handed the two documents over the man behind the desk. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Rodney grumbled in reply as they turned to enter the complex.

“Hey,” Natalie said, grabbing his arm to pull him to a stop. “We’re going to have fun today,” she promised, looking him in the eye. “Remember, the plan. I’m here to help remind them you’re not obsolete.”

“Right,” Rodney nodded.

“Right,” Nat agreed with a conspiratorial smile. “Now before we go in, am I taking off my ring or are we engaged?” Rodney floundered for a moment, stammering the beginnings of half a dozen sentences before Natalie took pity on him. “Engaged it is,” she announced, taking hold of his arm and leading him towards the crowd before he could object.

After collecting food and drinks from tables set out, the pair found a space amongst the gathered scientists. Natalie turned away from their conversation a few moments later in response to a man calling Rodney’s name, and watched as two men approached them.

“Show time,” she whispered under her breath, and was happy to see the corners of Rodney’s mouth twitch in amusement.

“We had it on good authority you were dead,” the taller of the pair joked, and Rodney let out a very forced chuckle in response. Nat placed a supportive, and what she hoped was comforting, hand on his back as the other scientist turned his attention towards her.

“And this would be your sister?” he asked.

“Ah… no, Neil, you know,” Rodney mumbled, “she’s not my sister. This is Dr. Natalie Sheppard. Nat this is Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson.”

The two men shook Natalie’s hand, and she tried not to roll her eyes when the second man, Neil, added, “You know, from television.”

“Ah, yeah,” Nat replied. “Of course. Nice to meet you.”

“So, Natalie, what’s your field of expertise?” Bill asked. “Are you a physicist as well? Is that how you meet Rodney here?”

“Oh, no,” Nat smiled. “I’m a medical doctor, but I do work in the same facility as Rodney, so that’s how we met.” She very obviously took Rodney’s hand, linking their fingers together and smiling flirtatiously at him. She bit back a smile as she watched out of the corner of her eye as the two scientists exchanged shocked looks. “Any way,” she added, “we better go grab our seats. It was lovely meeting you.”

* * *

“I think maybe this was a bad idea,” Rodney announced after they’d taken their seats in the lecture hall.

“Why?” Nat asked.

“Well I just remembered that I don’t really like these people,” Rodney explained.

“Is it that you don't like them, or maybe they don't like you?” Natalie prompted.

“Well, possibly. I mean,” Rodney stammered, “I used to be a little … abrasive?”

“Oh. ‘Used to be’” Natalie replied sarcastically, biting back a smile.

“Well, it's hard to explain,” Rodney defended. “My field is very competitive.”

“Yeah, I went to med school for six years. I wouldn't know anything about that,” Natalie responded. “You know, not everything has to be a competition, Rodney. They know how smart you are.”

“I'm not sure they do!” Rodney exclaimed.

“Of course, they do,” Nat argued. “You don't have to keep reminding them. It's called being humble. You've heard that word before?” in response to Rodney dismissive snort, Nat continued. “Hey, I could be laying on a beach in Hawaii with my family on a well-earned vacation, but instead I’m at a physics talk with my brother in law. You have to bend a little to, ok?”

“Humble, eh?” Rodney replied sheepishly. “I guess I can try anything once.” Nat smiled in response, nudging him with her elbow as the lights dimmed.

* * *

“We need a doctor in here!”

Natalie responded instantly to the shout, running from the control room towards the waiting crowd of scientists.

“No, a medical doctor!” the same voice continued in frustration.

Natalie paused when she rounded the corner to find a man lying on the ground, frozen solid. “What happened?” she demanded as she dropped to her knees beside him.

“I don’t know,” Bill Nye stammered in confusion, “This beam of blue light just arced across the room and hit him.”

“Well whatever it was, it didn’t kill him,” Nat commented absently as she checked the man’s vitals. After a few minutes she stood and walked over to where Rodney was standing nearby with Dr Tunney.

“How is he?” Rodney asked.

“Not good,” Nat replied. “It's like his whole left side has been flash frozen. I have never seen anything like this before, Rodney.” The pair shared a knowing looking, both very aware of how many odd medical conditions Natalie had encountered in Pegasus.

“Oh. Oh, man,” Tunney rambled.

“Look,” Rodney said, offering the man a sympathetic look. “This isn’t exactly your fault.”

“I really hope he signed his waiver,” Tunney continued, causing Nat and Rodney to stare at each other in disbelief.

“Rodney, we need to do something about this quick, before anyone else gets hurt by that thing,” Nat implored, and Rodney nodded solemnly in agreement.

* * *

Natalie watched with growing disappointment as the group of scientists continued to yell and argue over theories and equations on the whiteboards in front of them. When it seemed like there was little to no hope of them reaching a solution she whistled sharply, the sound breaking through the bickering.

“Hey!” she added, finally gaining the attention of the room. “This is embarrassing! Look at you! The greatest minds this world has to offer and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think there was a bunch of 6th graders in here. You guys need to suck it up and get along.”

“It’s like I always said,” Bill interrupted. “You see, people are more alike than they are different…”

“Shut it, Nye,” Natalie cut in.

“Sorry,” Bill mumbled in embarrassment.

“We need a solution,” Nat continued, “and we need it fast. Please, the rest of us are counting on you,” she concluded, and Rodney tentatively raised his hand. “Yes, Rodney?”

“I think I’m onto something,” he offered hesitantly, “it, it just needs some ironing out.”

“ok, great,” Natalie smiled, “Guys?” she asked of the room full of scientists.

In response to her question, many of them clustered around Rodney’s whiteboard and listened as he explained his theory. Having successfully wrangled the unruly group Nat turned her attention to the facility’s owner, Kramer.

“They’ll figure something out,” he informed her, as he watched the crowd in front of them.

“I’m sure they will,” Nat agreed. “I just hope it’s before someone dies.” Kramer remained quiet, so Nat decided to a different argument. “You know I’ve always hated the phrase ‘save the planet.’ It just always seemed a little backwards to me.”

“What?” Kramer asked in confusion, finally turning to look at her.

“Well, the planet’s going to be here no matter what,” she explained. “It might be a giant unliveable rock, but it’s going to survive.”

“So, you’re turning this into a discussion on semantics?” Kramer questioned.

“What I mean is, Mr Kramer, the work you’re doing isn’t about saving the planet, it’s about saving lives, and that’s a noble pursuit, trying to save billions of people. But it’s no less noble to save a hundred. These guys, no matter how smart they are, they could use some help. One phone call could get that help here. Please, let me make that call.”

He remained silent for a moment and Natalie thought that her heartfelt plea would be ignored, but then Kramer nodded solemnly. “Ok,” he agreed.

Nat smiled gratefully at him and rushed over towards Rodney, pulling him away from the scientists surrounding him. “Rodney,” she asked in a soft voice. “If we can get a call out to the SGC could the Asgard beam get through this forcefield?”

“Possibly,” Rodney replied, looking around nervously to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “But then what? We can’t exactly beam everyone out, there’s too many people here to trust that knowledge with.”

“But maybe they could beam someone else in to help?” Natalie offered.

“Maybe,” Rodney offered, “to be honest with you I could really use Jeanie on this,” he added.

“Ok,” Natalie nodded, “leave it with me.”

She left Rodney to return to the equations in front of him and walked quickly back to Kramer.

“Ok, show me where the communications room is,” she ordered.

Kramer nodded and the two left the room, heading down a series of hallways until they reached a door that had clearly been hit by another round of freeze lightning.

“Tell me you can fix this,” Nat demanded as she stared in horror at the damaged circuitry inside the room.

“No, I’m sorry,” Kramer replied. “We’re completely cut off.”

* * *

Natalie shivered as she ran down the hall, pulling Rodney’s jacket tighter around her, and staring intently at the cell phone held out in front of her. She stopped abruptly when it lit up with reception bars and quickly dialled a direct number to the SGC.

 _“General Landry’s Office,”_ announced the unmistakable voice of Walter Harriman on the other end of the call.

“Walter!” Natalie called out in relief. “This is Dr Natalie Shepard. I need to speak to the General immediately.”

 _“Hello?”_ came the reply. _“Dr. Shepard? I’m sorry can you repeat?”_

“Walter, I need to speak to the General. It’s an emergency!” Natalie repeated.

 _“Hello?”_ Walter repeated, and Natalie pulled the phone from her ear in disappointment as the call disconnected.

“Son of a bitch!” she yelled, already searching for a stronger pocket of reception. As she continued to wonder along the corridor, waving the phone in front of her a bolt of freeze lighting coursed across the hall, narrowly missing her but striking a water pipe running along the wall. Ice cold water lanced out from the whole, instantly drenching Natalie and shorting out the phone in her hand. “Oh shit!” she cursed, shivering violently as she attempted to move out of the stream of water and found the only door frozen shut. “Shit, shit, shit,” she repeated as she pulled on the handle to no avail.  Giving up on the door, Natalie instead pulled the radio out of her pocket. “Rodney?” she asked, “Can you hear me?”

 _“Please tell me you got through to the SGC,”_ McKay replied.

“I didn’t,” Nat admitted.

 _“Well, you’ve got to keep trying,”_ he said.

“I can’t. My phone is soaked, I can’t get it to turn on.”

 _“What?”_ Rodney asked in confusion, and it took Nat a moment to stop shaking enough to press the button again to reply.

“My hallway got hit by that freeze lighting, and a water pipe busted open,” she explained. “Rodney, my body temperature is dropping really fast.” She waited as the silence seemed to drag on, but just as she when she was starting to worry the radio was also water damaged, Rodney finally replied.

 _“Look, security’s on the way,”_ he promised. _“I need you to sit tight and try to stay warm ok?”_

“Sorry I didn’t get the call through,” she mumbled through chattering teeth.

 _“You did your best,”_ Rodney offered.

“Did you get that thing shut off?” Nat asked somewhat hopefully.

 _“Not yet,”_ Rodney admitted. _“We’re working on it.”_

“Hurry!” Natalie pleaded in reply.

* * *

McKay’s head snapped up from the computer screen in front of him as the radio crackled.

 _“Rodney?”_ Natalie called out weakly.

“Nat? Have they got you out of there yet?” Rodney called back

 _“No,”_ she replied.

Rodney turned to glare at Tunney. “Tunney, what’s the deal?” he demanded. “I thought you sent security?”

“They can’t get to her,” Tunney explained as he tapped away at the tablet in his hand. “That last round of freeze lightning sealed off one of the corridors. See,” he pointed, and Rodney looked over his shoulder at the schematic on the screen. “they’re making their way to her but it’s going to take some time.”

 _“It’s getting hard… harder to stay awake,”_ Nat murmured over the radio. _“I’m going into hypothermic shock.”_

“Hang in there Nat,” Rodney begged, turning his attention back to Tunney and the schematic in growing panic. “This is us, right?” he asked pointing at the screen.

“Uh-huh,” Tunney replied.

“So, we can get to her. It’s a straight shot down that corridor,” Rodney said. “I mean, they should have come this way, through the lab!”

“They’re cut off from us too,” Tunney rebutted, and Rodney was cut off from replying when Natalie’s voice once again came through the radio.

 _“Rodney, I think I might be about to lose consciousness,”_ she admitted. _“I need to tell John and Ronon…”_

“NO!” Rodney yelled. “No, I’m not telling them anything. I’m coming for you Nat.”

“What do you mean you’re coming for her?” Tunney asked in confusion. “We’re a little busy here.”

“She’ll die!” Rodney explained. Tunney kept arguing but Rodney quickly explained that Tunney would have to complete the plan before he ran from the control room.

As he ran down the hallway, Rodney could feel his heart beating in his throat. ‘She can’t die’ he thought, ‘Please don’t die!’.  He paused, pulling an axe from an emergency box on the wall, then continued running until he reached the sealed door behind which he prayed Nat was still alive. He struck the door repeatedly with the axe, then stopped to peer through the hole he had created. Nat was lying unconscious on the partly submerged floor.

“NATALIE!” Rodney yelled in a panic, before pulling back to swing the axe again, widening the hole with every swing until he was finally able to climb through. “Come on, come on,” he said as he picked the freezing cold woman up off the floor and carried her through the broken door to the dry hall on the other side. He laid her down, and desperately felt for a pulse. “You’re not breathing,” he whispered in shock. “Oh my god, you’re not breathing.”  He frantically began compressions, rambling as he did. “Please don’t be dead. Come on Nat. Please don’t be dead. Ronon and Kai need you. John needs you. Damn it Nat, I need you. Please come back to us.” Finally, she began coughing and Rodney helped her to sit up, relief coursing through him. “Oh thank god,” he gasped. “You’re ok, you’re ok.”

“You saved me,” she whispered.

“I used an axe,” Rodney bragged, “a big axe. I mean, I really wish you were conscious because I think it’s the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

“Thank you, Rodney,” Nat told him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. They sat in silence for a while, simply grateful to have survived. It was Natalie who broke the silence after a while.

“Rodney?” Natalie whispered.

“Yeah?” Rodney replied.

“I’m never going to another physics thing with you again.”


	45. NATALIE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Once again sorry for the long break, but uni has been kicking my butt. I'm on winter break now so i'm hoping to finally be able to finish this story for you guys and work on the sequel that I've already started.   
> Your comments really hope motivate me so please let me know what you think. 
> 
> This chapter is just a small one that had me stumped for a while but i've had half of the next one written for almost 6 months and it's gonna be loooooong.

After beaming aboard the Daedalus, Natalie wandered the hallways looking for her family. She found them gathered around a table in the mess hall, Kai standing nearby with her hands and face pressed against the glass of the window, staring out at the strange blue lights of hyperspace. They were all watching the toddler and didn’t notice her approach until she collapsed into the empty seat next to Ronon.  He smiled warmly at her and leaned forward to kiss her. “Welcome back,” he told his wife. “We missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she replied, grinning as she turned to watch her daughter’s excitement. “I see someone’s a fan of hyperspace travel.”

“We’ll see how she feels about it after three weeks” Rodney grumbled. “How are you feeling by the way?”

“I’m fine” Nat promised the 3 men, “it was just a little hypothermia.”

“Rodney said he had to give your CPR,” John countered.

“And he did it perfectly and now I’m fine” Nat smirked. “It’s been 3 days and I’m of perfect health.”

“Speaking of,” Rodney began, happy to change the topic from almost being responsible for her death. “How was your visit home?”

“Exactly what I needed,” Nat admitted. “I forgot how much I always loved hanging out with Dave when we were younger, and I got to meet his family.” She looked to John as she spoke, but he refused to meet her eye, instead watching his niece intently. “He asked about you?” she told him.

“And what did you tell him?” John replied, finally turning to look at her.

“The truth,” she told him. “That you weren’t ready to forgive him for siding with dad all those years ago and that you have your head too far up your own ass to realise that you both have a chance to fix things.”

Rodney and Ronon both watched on uncomfortably as the siblings glared at each other for a few minutes.

“Look Nat,” John finally said, “you can play happy families and repair things with him all you want but I just don’t see the point in opening up old wounds. He made it very clear that he agreed with dad about how disgusting I am for being Bi and I don’t think introducing Rodney is going to help that much, besides it’s not like it matters. We live in another galaxy Natalie. It’s not like we can have family dinners or go on vacations together. We have separate lives and that’s the way it’s going to stay.”

Having said his peace, John stood up from the table, leaving the mess hall with Rodney quickly following after him.

“Well that went well,” Ronon snarked, and Nat smiled grimly in reply. She was saved from responding when her daughter finally turned her attention away from the window and noticed her.

“MOMMY!” she squealed, running over to her parents and clambering up onto Natalie’s lap.

“Hey, Muffin,” Nat laughed as the little girl snuggled her face up against her mothers neck. “I missed you so much!”


	46. NATALIE [5x20]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 5x20 'ENEMY AT THE GATE'

Natalie looked up sharply at the knock on her office door. John was standing in the open doorway, leaning against the door frame with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Hey,” she smiled, motioning for him to come in and he walked forward and dropped into the empty chair on the other side of her desk. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” she asked before he could speak, and he grimaced in reply.

“The Apollo failed to stop the hive,” he explained. “It’s on its way to earth and the SGC have ordered me to gate back to man the Antarctic chair.”

“Shit,” Nat replied. “What about Todd’s ZPM’s?”

“We got them. Rodney’s checking them right now to make sure they’re not a trap,” John answered.

“And if they’re not, we have the power to fly the city,” Nat added with understanding. “I have the power to fly the city.”

“You’ll be fine,” John promised. “You piloted the Orion, and Atlantis is just a big ship.”

“A really big ship,” Nat corrected. “What if we can’t stop the hive?”

“We have to,” John replied. “We can’t fail. I’m sorry Nat, but I have to go. I’ll see you when all of this is over, ok?”

“Do you promise?” Nat asked her brother, her eyes warm with tears. “Do you promise I’ll see you when this is over?”

“I’ll do my best,” John offered, standing up and walking around the desk to pull her into a hug. “I really do have to go Tal.”

“Good luck, John.”

* * *

“Beginning pre-flight check,” Natalie announced, closing her eyes and leaning back in the control chair. She remained silent for a few long minutes as streams of data ran before her closed eyelids. “Rodney?” she finally asked, eyes still closed as her mind melded with the city’s interface.

“I’ve finished calibrating the chair,” Rodney replied from behind her. “Radek, how are things at your end?”

 _“ZPMs are online and functioning, 100%,”_ Radek replied over the radio. _“We’re good to go.”_

“Everything seems ready to me as well,” Nat agreed. “Mr Woolsey?”

 _“Dr Sheppard,”_ Woolsey replied, _“You have a go. Shields are raised and we’re ready for you to take us out.”_

Natalie took a deep breath and focused her thoughts towards the giant stardrive beneath the city, and in response to her command the entire city began to shake as it slowly lifted from the ocean and into the sky. They continued to climb until Natalie sensed through the city’s sensors that they had left the planets orbit and were now flying through space. “Initialising hyperdrive,” she announced, before issuing the command mentally, she felt the window open and Atlantis smoothly flowed into hyperspace, a blue glow tinting everything in her mind’s eye.  “All systems fine, Rodney.”

“I agree,” Rodney’s voice replied from somewhere off to her left. “You doing ok?”

“I’m good,” Natalie replied, smiling as her mind continued to explore the system laid out before her. “It’s easy really, I can feel she wants to help. I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s showing me exactly what I need. I’ll keep us steady on course, but you’ll need to organise someone else familiar with the chair to come in and take over for me in a few hours. It’s easy enough to keep her flying but I won’t be able to do it on my own.”

“Already on it,” Rodney replied. “Just let me know when you need a break.”

* * *

Natalie paced anxiously around the gate room. Above her Rodney and Zalenka were frantically trying to work out how they had dropped out of hyperspace, and despite her best efforts she had been unable to gain the answers they needed from the city. Perhaps if John was here he would be able to, but she had not yet mastered the connection they both had to ancient technology to the same level that her brother had.

She watched on as Radek finished recalibrating their location and Woolsey gave the command to dial earth. The gate burst to life, casting a blue glow over the control room and Nat listened as Woolsey attempted to radio SGC.

“Ok this is weird,” Rodney announced as he stared in confusion at his computer screen. “I'm picking up an energy signature feeding back through the wormhole. It's Wraith.”

“The Wraith is at Stargate Command?” Woolsey replied in shock, as Natalia quickly climbed the central staircase towards the control room.

“No,” Rodney responded. “These readings are more like something you'd pick up in the middle of a Hive.”

“But we dialled Earth,” Woolsey countered.

“You don't think that ...” Zelenka began.

“Standard Wraith procedure,” Rodney cut in. “Keep your victims from dialling out.”

“What are you talking about?” Nat interjected.

“There's a Gate on the Hive!” Rodney explained. “The Wraith always try to block the Gate of a planet they're attacking, usually by dialling in. They couldn't do that in this case so they came up with another solution.

“You see,” Zelenka added, “when two Gates are in proximity, one supersedes the other. Usually it's the default Gate – unless it happens to be a Milky Way model and the other one's from Pegasus.”

“We encountered exactly the same problem on the Midway Station,” Rodney stated. “We had to create a work-around to prevent the Pegasus Gate from always taking precedence.”

“You're telling me _that_ wormhole ...” Woolsey asked, turning to gaze in horror at the active gate in front of them.

“... leads directly onto the Hive,” Rodney concluded.

* * *

Nat took a deep breath before stepping through the event horizon. On the other side the small team found themselves standing the gate room of a hive ship, and immediately began spreading out to secure the room. Natalie readjusted her grip on the p-90 and quickly followed Ronon out into a main corridor. The five of them; Ronon, Teyla, Rodney, Lorne and Natalie quietly made their way through the hive, guided by Rodney and the schematic of the hive on his hand-held scanner. Suddenly Ronon’s voice boomed out through the silence.

“McKAY!”

Pushing McKay aside, Ronon immediately started shooting at an approaching group of wraith guards. The other members of the team quickly joined him as more wraith approached from behind. Without warning, a wraith launched itself around a corner, grabbing Ronon and knocking his blaster from his grasp and forcing the Satedan to fight hand to hand. Teyla, Lorne and Natalie continued to fire on the approaching wraith, while Ronon grappled with his opponent and McKay was grabbed by another and shoved against a nearby wall. Ronon pulled his guard's stunner rifle from its grip and used it as a sword, bludgeoning the wraith to push it back and then slashing the rifle across its face. As it dropped, he instantly spun around and slammed the rifle across the other guard's back. The wraith fell to the ground and Ronon swung the rifle around to press against the guards neck, strangling it. Distracted, Ronon didn’t see a wraith approaching from behind until a knife was plunged into his back, his agonizing scream drawing the attention of Natalie who rushed towards him, taking out the offending wraith. Ronon fell to the ground, clutching at the profusely bleeding wound in his back, blood beginning to pour from his mouth as Nat dropped to her knees beside him, already pressing gauze to his wound. Blood quickly seeped through the gauze and she hurried to replace it with more, unable to stem the bleeding as it covered her hands and began to form a puddle on the floor.

“The knife hit a lung!” she yelled. “He’s bleeding out. Ronon?”

 He caught his wife’s eye, “Just go!” he demanded, “Just go.”

“No,” she choked out in response, still desperately trying to stop the bleeding, even while knowing there’s nothing she could do as he gasped for breath, his body shuddering with the effort.

“Ronon!” Natalie shouted hysterically as his body fell still, eyes staring unseeing at the roof above them. “Ronon?”

Sensing movement behind them, Lorne and Teyla  open fire on approaching wraith, as Rodney threw himself in front of Nat, blocking her from the weapons fire. 

“C’mon,” Lorne called out, “we’ve got to get out of here now! C’mon, C’mon. Let’s go! Let’s go!”

Natalie was crying hysterically, clinging hopelessly to the lifeless body of her husband and it was Rodney who grabbed hold of her and dragged her away, leaving Ronon lying in the hallway.

“Let go of me!” she screamed as Rodney pulled her down to corridor after Lorne and Teyla. “Let go of me, Rodney!”

Rodney, panting from the effort of running for his life and pulling his sister-in-law with him, repeated the same words over and over again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”


	47. RODNEY/JOHN/NATALIE [5x20]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter rewrites some of the events of 5x20 'ENEMY AT THE GATE'

Rodney felt like his lungs were on fire and he pulled Nat and himself into cover behind a terminal, when suddenly an unexpected voice crackled over their radios. He could feel Natalie shaking where he was holding her against him and he was pretty sure she’d gone into shock, so he was not at all surprised that she didn’t respond to her brothers voice over the radio.

“Did he say nuke?” Rodney shouted, locking eyes with Teyla.

_“Do me a favour,”_ John continued, _“When Atlantis shows up, tell my family I said goodbye.”_

“Sheppard!” Rodney yelled into his own radio. “This is McKay! Look. Stop what you’re doing, now!”

_“McKay?”_ was John’ shocked response.

“Yes, it’s me,” Rodney replied. “I’ve got Lorne, Teyla and Nat here with me. We’re on board the Hive.”

_“What? W… How?”_ John asked incredulously.

“It’s a long story,” Rodney explained. “The important this is, if you’re about to do what I think you’re doing, don’t!”

_“This Hive is about to attack Earth, Rodney. I don't have much of a choice.”_

“Look, just wait!” Rodney replied. “We'll come to you. I'm sure I can rig up some kind of a remote detonator.”

_“What good's that going to do for us? We can't get off this ship, Rodney.”_

“That's where you're wrong,” he grinned before looking to Lorne and Teyla. “This way.”

* * *

“You guys are the last people I expected to see on this ship,” John said as the team arrived in the dart bay.

“Same here,” Rodney replied, already running past John towards the 302. “Give me a minute.”

“Where’s Ronon?” John asked, he’s voice trailing off as his eyes fell on his sister and the haunted expression on her face as she looked back at him. Tears coursed down her face as she shook her head, unable to speak and tell him that the unimaginable had happened.

“Ok, I’ve got it!” Rodney called out. “Let’s get back to the gate.”

They all took off running for the gate room, John grabbing his sisters hand as he past and dragging her along with him. He pushed his own grief to the side, knowing that if he dwelt on the loss he would never get them out of this alive. Natalie was sluggish, tripping every few metres but he just kept on going, knowing that their only chance was to make it to the gate before the Hive got too close to earth. Lorne was a few steps ahead of him, gun raised as he rounded corner after corner then suddenly he stopped, dropped to his knee and started firing. John dropped Nat’s hand, moving to join Lorne and take out the few wraith blocking their path. When the last wraith hit the ground, they approached, and John was shocked to find Ronon lying on the ground, alive. He spared a moment to glance at the rest of the team and saw they all shared his shock.

“How you doing, Chewie?” He asked, offering his hand to pull his friend to his feet.

“You were dead!” McKay declared.

“We’re all going to be dead unless we get out of here,” John replied, waving Lorne over to help Ronon. The younger solder slung his arm around the injured man and helped him start walking. John glanced over to Natalie to find her staring wide eyed at her husband, her face pale. “We’ll figured it out later,” he promised before once again grabbing her hand a pulling her down the hallway.

* * *

She felt like she was moving through fog. Her limbs felt heavy, making it heard to keep putting one foot in front of the other but John was still pulling her forward, forcing her to keep going when all she wanted to do was stop. Every blink felt like an eternity and every sound was muffled. She was vaguely aware of the others talking around her and a voice buzzing in her ear which she thought might have been her radio but none of it matter because all she could think about was losing him. He had died in her arms and there was nothing she could do, no way to save him, no way to help him. And then he was standing there looking at her, but it wasn’t him. It couldn’t be him because she was covered in his blood. Even while she thought this he stared at her from where he lent against the wall. Before she could speak to him, ask him who he was and why he looked like her husband, John was once again grabbing her hand and dragging her forward. He pushed her through the Stargate and then all of sudden she was surround by blinding sunshine and green grass and as the wormhole closed behind her she finally felt her knees buckle and she fell to the ground.

“Nat?” John cried out, kneeling beside her and lifting her head to look at him. “Nat talk to me.”

“He died in my arms,” she mumbled. “He died, and I couldn’t stop it.” She looked down at her blood-soaked clothes and suddenly the fog was gone replaced by a pain that ripped through her like wildfire. She gasped for breath as the tears flowed and John pulled her against his chest.

“He’s alive,” John whispered, trying to sooth her as she shook. “He’s alive. Everything’s ok. He’s alive.”

“Nat?” Ronon’s voice was weak and he coughed at the effort to speak but it cut through her like he was yelling. “I’m ok”

She looked up from where her head was buried against her brothers shoulder and saw him, sitting on the ground propped up against the Alpha site DHD.

“Oh God,” she cried out, launching across the space separating them. “You’re alive. How?”

“The wraith,” Ronon coughed. “It healed me, so it could question me. Brought me back.”

Natalie pulled him against her and they both held each other tightly while Rodney tried to establish a wormhole connection back to earth.


	48. NATALIE/RODNEY [Post Season 5]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath of 5x20

Natalie wasn’t exactly sure how, but somehow, they had all made it through this latest crisis. She was exhausted as she leaned against the shower wall, letting the steaming hot water rush over her, turning her skin red. After Rodney had established a wormhole with Atlantis, they had taken Ronon straight to the infirmary and John had ordered her back to her quarters to clean up while he went to report in with Mr Woolsey and find out what had happened. When she’d entered the bathroom, she had caught sight of her reflection for the first time and it had pulled her up short. She looked like someone straight out of a horror movie, her black BDU’s drenched with blood and her hands and bare forearms vivid red. There was more blood smeared across her face and her usually honey blonde hair was a strawberry coloured in sections. Her breath had caught in her throat as she realised how lucky she was not to be a widow in this moment. She never thought she would see a day when she was grateful for the wraith, but she was today.

Once the water running of her body was finally running clear and she turned off the shower, stepping out into the harsh light and dried herself off.  She dressed quickly and made her way out into the familiar hallways of Atlantis, heading towards the infirmary. She was disarmed by the vast number of people she past in the hallways, and the fact that she did not recognize most of them confused her. She was just about to ask one of them where they’d all come from when she passed by a large window looking out over the water. She came to an abrupt halt as she took in the unexpected sight of the Golden Gate Bridge spanning the horizon and, in that moment,  it finally hit her that Atlantis was on Earth. She was far too tired to think of what this would mean for the expedition and instead put the thought aside as she continued walking towards the infirmary.  

When she arrived, she found Ronon sitting up in bed, with Kai sitting beside him, chatting happily, clearly unaware of the events of the past 24 hrs. Ronon smiled at her when she entered the room, and she sat down on the bed by his hip, taking one his hands into hers.

“Hey,” she greeted with a soft smile.

“Hey,” he whispered in return, his voice hoarser than usual.

“HEY!” Kai shouted happily, causing both of her parents to laugh.

“How are you feeling?” Ronon asked in concern.

“Shouldn’t I be asking that?” Nat replied. “I’m not the one that was D.E.A.D a few hours ago.”

They both glanced quickly at their daughter to ensure she was unaware of their conversation, but she was obliviously playing with her fathers dreadlocks.

“Exactly,” Ronon replied, squeezing her hand. “I saw your face when you all found me. It can’t have been an easy for you.”

“I’m ok now,” she promised softly. “I think I was in shock. I can’t imagine my life without you and I guess I just couldn’t face it, you know.”

Ronon didn’t reply, they both knew there were no words for what had so nearly happened. He instead, used the hand she was still holding to pull her closer until she was lying beside him, an arm draped over him to reach for Kai. The toddler mirrored her mother, lying beside her father, all three of their heads cushioned on his hospital pillow. With his family surrounding him, Ronon finally let the exhaustion wash over him and he was quickly asleep, his wife and daughter following him not long after.

* * *

Rodney found John out on a balcony, leaning against the railing and staring out at the nearby Point Bonita Lighthouse. A cool breeze was blowing off the ocean and Rodney pulled his jacket tighter against the chill.

“What a day,” he sighed as he lent against the railing, his arm brushing against John’s.

“Just another day in…” John began before cutting himself of. “God, I was going to say in Pegasus, but I guess that doesn’t apply anymore.”

“Yeah,” Rodney nodded, “That’s going to take some getting used to. I don’t even want to think about the logistical nightmare this is going to be. The city is already overrun with SGC personnel.”

“It’s going to be a mess,” John agreed. “With the chair gone, we just became earth’s only line of defence, so I doubt the IOA is going to be letting us go anytime soon.”

“The chair is gone?” Rodney asked.

“Taken out by a wave of darts before I flew up to the Hive,” John explained.

They both fell silent, staring out at the nearby shoreline as the sun started to set.

 

“So, are we going to talk about the fact that you were about to blow yourself up today?” Rodney asked quietly.  

“Do we have to?” John replied. “At the time, it was the only option.”

“I know it was,” Rodney agreed. “Just can’t help but think about if we’d come out of hyperspace to find Earth saved and you gone.”

“But you didn’t,” John reminded him, turning to pull Rodney into a hug. “The great Dr. McKay saved my ass, just like he always does.”

“The great Dr. McKay, would rather you didn’t put that ass in danger every 5 minutes,” Rodney grumbled in reply, pressing closely against John.

“I love you,” John whispered.

“I love you, too,” Rodney replied.

“We should go check in on Ronon” Rodney finally pointed out after 10 or so minutes. “He did die today.”

“Yeah,” John replied, reluctantly pulling away and lacing their fingers together as they headed inside. “I want to check in on Nat.”

“She really worried me out there,” Rodney admitted. “She’s usually so cool under pressure.”

“I can’t imagine what she went through,” John sighed. “If anything, ever happened to you I think I’d fall apart.”

“You’d save the day first, then fall apart,” Rodney countered. “That’s just who you are.”


	49. NATALIE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the final chapter.

The sun glittered on the flat ocean waters of the bay, and a light breeze fluttered in her raven curls as she gazed out across the floating city and the Golden Gate bridge beyond it. It was quiet out on the balcony and it was the perfect place to sit and think. The door behind her opened and she was pulled out of her thoughts by a voice.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Teyla asked as she approached.

“Not at all,” Nat replied with a smile.

“You seemed deep in thought,” Teyla commented as she sat down next to the woman, “What has you so transfixed Natalie?” Natalie was a silent for long enough that Teyla thought she was not going to answer. When she finally answered, her voice was soft in the peaceful afternoon.

“I was just thinking about how much things have changed over the years,” she replied. “Things were so different when we first arrived in Atlantis.”

“Yes, you have grown much since I left my fellow Athosians and joined you here. You and John barely spoke then, and the Natalie I first met would never have been comfortable on an off-world mission the way you are now. You have been through much in your time in the Pegasus Galaxy,” Teyla noted.

Natalie nodded with a wistful smile. “Yeah, it’s crazy to think of how John and I were back then,” she sighed. “When I first saw him after we came through the wormhole, I never could have dreamt that we would have the relationship we do now. I hadn’t seen him in 17 years when we found each other the day after he came back to the city with you and the other Athosians.  So much has happened since I left Earth and it seems strange to be back now. I guess I’m just worried about what that means for us now.”

Teyla nodded. “I too am worried about what Atlantis being on earth will mean for our futures,” she agreed. “I have never been so far from my people.”

“And Pegasus still needs our help,” Natalie added. “It doesn’t feel right to abandon them like this, but we’ve been in meetings all week discussing what happens next. With the ancient weapons platform gone I can’t see how the IOA will let us leave, even if we can find enough ZPM’s to fly again.”

“There is much to deal with,” Teyla agreed. “But I am confident we will find a way.”

Natalie nodded in hopeful agreement and the two women settled into a comfortable silence as they gazed out at the view. They were joined shortly after by Ronon, John and Rodney who each pulled up chairs.

“You look like crap,” Natalie told her brother as he sat down next to her.

“I was not made for bureaucracy,” John moaned, exhaustion clear in his voice and on his face. “Ever since we splashed down it’s been nothing but meetings, paperwork, more meetings. I really hate the IOA.”

“You can say that again,” agreed Rodney wearily.

“I feel like we’ve just been arguing in circles for a week now,” Nat added, just as exhausted as the two men.

“What do you mean, Natalie?” Teyla asked.

“It’s like we were just saying,” Nat replied. “It all boils down to the IOA not wanting us to leave the planet now that the Chair has been destroyed but not knowing where to keep us without civilians becoming aware of us.”

“Not to mention the fact that we don’t belong here,” Rodney added. “We need to get back to Pegasus.”

“I agree Rodney, but I just don’t see that happening,” Nat pressed. “You’ve been in the same meetings I have. I can’t think of anymore arguments to make that we haven’t already tried. They don’t want us leaving and without their authorisation Atlantis is stuck on Earth.”

“I heard they made us deactivate the gate,” Ronon added.

“It was superseding SGC,” Rodney explained. “They ordered us to disconnect our gate so that they could use theirs again.”

“So, what are meant to do?” Ronon pushed. “Just sit around here doing nothing?”

“There’s talk of moving most of the Atlantis personnel over to the SGC,” John explained. “Obviously those scientists who still need to be in the city for specific projects would stay but most of the military has already been reassigned. I’ve only just a dozen or so men left.”

“My department’s been cut down too,” Nat added. “We’re basically just a floating medical clinic now.”

“So that’s it then?” Ronon grumbled. “Atlantis is done?”

“No,” Nat and John both said together.

“I’m not done fighting for our city,” John promised. “For now, we will work as part of SGC, but that’s only temporary. Radek and Rodney have been working on repairing the city and that’s going to take some time.”

“That’s an understatement,” Rodney interrupted. “Carson made a right mess of the place.”

“And in the meantime,” John continued. “Natalie, Woolsey and I will continue to try and convince the IOA that we are needed pack in Pegasus.”

“Which would be much easier if we could give them another way to defend earth,” Nat added.

“As I told Natalie earlier,” Teyla said. “I am confident you both will be able to find a solution. We will just need to be patient.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for joining me on this ride. I've had such a great time playing with these characters and creating this story over the last year.   
> I've already begun on a sequel to this story, as I don't think I'll ever get over this show being cancelled and I need the Atlantis expedition to continue.   
> Please let me know in the comments what you thought and what you'd like to see in the sequel because I could always use a little bit of inspiration. 
> 
> Once again, Thank You for reading


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